Warning: Underwear Based Entry Follows!

As I believe I have already mentioned, the reach of Wedding is long and sneaky and surprising. Consider the shoes. And the underwear. (No pictures with this entry, btw.)

I have tried on my dress several times. I have had my makeup done; I wrote down every step and have been practicing so that it will be right on the day of Wedding. I had my hair done the way it will be on Wedding day. I have figured out what jewelry I will wear, and bought what I needed and didn't have. That left only two things to be practiced: shoes and underwear.

Yes, I am wearing heels, and the shoes have what I think is obnoxiously called a "peep" toe. I got a practice color on my toes the other day -- pale pink -- and it looked good. I wore the shoes all day yesterday (with my jeans and t-shirt; I looked ridiculous) and they were pretty comfortable. So I'm guessing I can live in them for a day, although I also got flats, which I will test tomorrow.

*sigh*

Probably because I am at a level of insanity reserved for mothers of imminent brides or grooms, I decided that an ordinary bra would not do. My dress is all lace, but it is lined, so really, nothing special is needed, but if I shift the wrong way, my bra straps will show, so I decided that I had to have a strapless bra. Also, I've been toying with the idea that a good strapless bra will take some pressure off my shoulders and consequently I'll have less neck pain. So yes, I walked into a store and asked for a strapless bra in size 38DDD.

Long story short, I got it, and it was amazingly comfortable, and I've been wearing it all day (under a t-shirt) to see if I can live in it. It's strapless, but goes down to about my waist, which causes the world's biggest muffin-top thing to occur, so I have to wear a waist-cincher, or some such thing, under the bra. My posture, as you can imagine, is ramrod straight, and my belly looks fla-a-a-a-a-a-t, which I love. My bra parts, or, "girls", if you will, have never been happier, because there is only support, no pinching or anything, and they don't spread out to the sides or drop out of the cups or sag or anything. However, when I was trying to do dishes before, standing at the sink, I could not see the dishes. I can barely bend or lean, and when say support, I mean that my girls somewhat resemble Jayne Russell in the fifties. (Okay, here's one picture.)

I feel like I'm wearing an exo-skeleton, which is to say, like my own puny body is encased in Transformer-like armor that holds it up. I feel like if I take it off, my flesh will collapse to the floor in a puddle of goo.

I promise that I will post pictures of myself, at least, after the Wedding, and you will see, hopefully, that it all came together and I remained upright for the requisite time. Two weeks from today, folks! In fact, two weeks from this very minute, it will be over! (Except the brunch, which is the next morning.)

Okay, gonna go take off my Borg components and turn myself back into a human being now.