A-OK

Hey, I got a postcard from boxx! How cool is that?

Well, I am much better today, emotionally anyway, and a modicum of better physically, but I'm seeing that doctor tomorrow. I appreciate your comments more than you know. And on to today's news.

The stress test went very well and I am fine. I was probably in there for an hour or a little less all told, but I don't think I walked on the treadmill for more than five or six minutes. The rest of it was getting hooked up, getting ultrasound pictures done of the heart before and after, and getting un-hooked up, not to mention little bits of time wasting here and there and talking to the doctor afterward.

I am fine, and am showing no early signs of blockage or any other kind of problem that I would have worried about, although he agrees that my family history made it a good idea to have the test done. He still doesn't know why I have that one irregular wave on my EKG, but says it doesn't seem to have caused a problem and some people are just like that.

The best news, since I didn't think he really would find anything wrong with my heart, is that my breathing issue is not a concern to him. I asked him what causes me to get short of breath as soon as I begin to exert myself, and here's his answer: "Your body is in an unconditioned state." Do we know what that means? It means "Exercise, you moron!" But he did tell me how to approach that, which I also wanted to hear from him. And take a baby aspirin every day.

So there you go. The Sibs went with me, but was not allowed in the room during the test, which is too bad because I think she's afraid to have it done and watching me would have convinced her. (But my report afterwards may have done the job.) After all, she's got the same family history I have, eh?

Anyway, I've still got that other stuff to deal with tomorrow, but in general, things feel much lighter. Speaking of which, I also discussed weight loss and weight loss goals with the doctor, and I liked his response very much. He asked me a variety of questions about my weight loss in the past, and then said, "Well, when you're ready ..." I like that he didn't say "Thirty pounds! Now!" which would have been very unrealistic. So I'm going to give myself some time to try the exercising (again) and then go back on WW.

Okay, folks, there you are. Thanks for sticking with me. Back to the normal cat poo tomorrow.

WATCHING DR. PHIL :: ENTRY #1540

Entry #2

Here's a funny thing. I can hear the crickets chirping outside on summer nights. At first, it bothered me, and then I remembered that it was a sound I heard on every summer night of my life until sixteen years ago. These are the first hearing aids that are sensitive to pick it up, and that I don't rip off my ears as soon as I know I'm in for the night. I take these off before I go to bed. Noisy, crickets.

So. I have a lot of ambivalent feelings right now about myself and about ... well, not about all those around me, just about one friend in particular, which makes me very sad. Perhaps her email just hit me funny, and what I got out of it is not what she intended:

Can't wait to hear about the stress test......I'll have one eventually.... Anyway, hope that you soon come up with some holistic something-or-other, be it meditation, yoga, or whatever, so maybe you can shift your focus to wellness. I suspect that can be done even if you don't feel particularly well, and to some degree it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, so to speak.
I'm sure you've given this approach some thought, as sure as the sun will rise (through the fog) tomorrow.

OK, give me the scoop. No matter how busy, I always have time to check my mail.

So, am I crazy, or is she telling me that to some degree, it's all in my head? In essence, is she saying that even if I have legitimate health issues, it's time to suck it up and make peace with it?

Listen, you guys know I have had issues with hypochondria, and I have largely resolved them with your help. But I guess I am a little scared right now, more than I realized or more than I thought I would be, and this email has kind of sent me over the edge. So now I have something else you need to help me work out.

In my early diary-keeping days, as well as in my therapy, I often addressed my need to feel "normal" and to want to know what "normal" means. When it comes to health issues, I am out in the cold on this one. I was raised by a mother who thought every hangnail was a major issue (until she got cancer and dealt pretty well with it, but maybe she never really quite believed she had it) and a father who wouldn't see any doctor until he had a heart attack and even then refused to be taken to the hospital, but fortunately the EMT listened to me instead. So whatever normal is, I don't know.

Do most people feel aches and pains and symptoms and just kinda blow it off? All these people who say "Oh, I never go to doctors" -- why is that? Do they never feel the need, or do they just not go, even when there might be something? And it passes, and they figure, dodged that bullet. I don't know. I would love to be that person. I wish I could be that person who says "Oh, I never go to doctors."

I wish I could be athletic and in great shape and eat all the right foods and stuff, but in fact, I would guess that people like that are maybe 5% of the population. In my friend's email above, when she says "No matter how busy," this is what she means. She means that her grown sons and their various children are all visiting this week at their summer home, and they will all be kayaking, rock climbing, mountain climbing, etc. They are the happy family. Even her husband, who is in his 70s and has a pacemaker, has not slowed down. Her health is not perfect, though, and she is a very heavy smoker, and overweight, but she is always bright and cheerful! She doesn't let anything get her down!

Swell.

I just don't know. I mean, I don't know where to put myself on the scale of this health concern thing. I wish I could just blow stuff off. I can't. I do know the difference between what needs medical attention and what doesn't, and even then, as you know, I'm reluctant to pursue it. I'll go to the doctor, but by then, I've really got something, you know, or at least, a genuine reason to think I do.

Trust me, when I kept having trouble hearing in my right ear 16 years ago, I did not know that I had a freaking brain tumor, but I knew I had something that needed medical attention. That's all I'm saying. I know what's hypochondria and what isn't, and what's -- I'll use the word -- normal illness and what isn't. I know that I have a sore throat today because I have post-nasal drip, and I know that's allergies and I know that I've had post-nasal drip to one degree or another every day of my life that I can remember. Not a medical emergency. I know I have a sore on my tongue, and a few inside my mouth, that haven't healed for a couple of weeks. Not so normal, although could well be a stress thing. Not a typical stress thing for me, but could be. What's going on in my stomach is not my stress stomach, either, but it's not outside the realm of normal. I would just like better medicine so I can make it stop.

This may be part of the weird optimism that led me to view the spot on my brain MRI as a fingerprint, on first glance, but I am pretty damn sure that I have no weird or strange or life-threatening condition that I am going to discover tomorrow. I'm not worried about that. I'm not even worried about the stress test itself, because the doctor said he'll stop it when he sees I can't go anymore, so it shouldn't last more than five minutes, if that. I don't know what I'm stressed about, maybe just the thought of having the test. But I rarely stress over medical tests, even mammograms, which is weird.

I reeeeeaaallly needed to vent tonight, after I got that email, so, thanks. She probably didn't mean anything by it, but I guess she does think I'm a wimp. Whatever.

Okay, better now. Thanks, again. Results, or at least a report, tomorrow.

WATCHING FRIENDS :: ENTRY #1539

Hi!

Do I sound cheerful? No? Okay.

I'm not cheerful, but I'm not depressed, either, although the Sibs seems to be on some sort of depression-watch for me. I'm not having mood swings, either, which is a good thing since this is week two of less estrogen, the week the doctor predicted I "would not be happy." Well, I'm not happy, but it doesn't have anything to do with that.

I'm mostly annoyed. I'm annoyed that all these stupid little health issues are sucking up my summer. Not that I know what else I'd be doing. But the summer is half over, and aside from reading a few books (which, yes, I know, is a good thing), I haven't really done anything. Oh, right, went on vacation, yeah, that was good. You see? I'm all fatumult.

The summer is indeed half over, and today I made peace with the fact that not only have I not started a single project that I hoped to do, I ain't gonna. So there. If I want it done, I'll do it on a weekend someday. I'm lucky I have the energy to read.

Bitch, bitch, bitch.

So I did make an appointment with the gastroenterologist for Wednesday. Stress test tomorrow; I'll let you know how it went.

WATCHING MASH :: ENTRY #1538

Late, If Not Better

I wasn't going to write today, but here I am, and blah blah blah. It's been a long weekend of mostly having a variety of health issues, which I won't go into here in any detail because I still have some minimal sense of decorum. I may call someone for an appointment tomorrow, but frankly, I wouldn't even know who to call -- that's whom -- so I may just wait until Tuesday so that the cardiologist can tell me there's nothing wrong with my heart and I can say "Great, now who can you send me to for xx disgusting condition that I also have?" I could also see my new internist and list all my symptoms for her, top to toe, but she's either already on maternity leave or is going sometime this week, so she's busy, and you know, I changed to a woman doctor for a reason. (The other internist in the office is not. A woman, I mean. If I get the measles or some other disease of a non-delicate nature, I will happily see him til Dr. Mama comes back sometime in September.)

So I've done very little except a quick trip to the supermarket today, and otherwise, reading or watching TV. (And changing cat towels, of course, but he's had a good day today.) Listen to how psycho this cat is. He will not touch food that's been sitting out at all. Which means, if he didn't eat all of it the second I put it down (and he never does), he turns his nose up at what's left. So when he cries for food, I have to pick up the leftovers, clean off the dish, and put new food (from the same original can) down on it. Earlier today, as I was performing my ritual, a bit of the "old" food slipped onto the floor and he went after it like it was fresh caviar. He's such an OCD little weirdo.

I finished the Under the Banner of Heaven, which was quite good, although I suppose that evaluation would depend on whether or not the reader is him or herself a Mormon. Btw, I read it as an e-book, on my little Palm, because I wanted to try to read a whole book that way and see what it was like. (Which prompted K to say "But I gave you the book. It's right there." Two feet away from me, but yes, I was reading the ebook instead, which made it possible for R to borrow the real book before I'd finished it.) Anyway, I liked the reading experience very much. It's small, easy to hold, only requires one hand to hold it open, and best of all, has its own backlighting, so you can read in a dark room. Even so, K gave me another real book, along with a dirty look, so I started reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I must be the last living person who's never read any Terry Pratchett. I picked up something once and didn't like it, so I never tried it again. But this is amusing, so far. Only I wanted to turn the lights out, so there you go.

Writing tomorrow will depend entirely on the state of my ailments, which provide various levels of discomfort throughout the day. Now, not to give anything away, primarily because no one wants to know, and I'm not limited here to just one ailment, because that would not convey the full sense of joy that it is to be me, but I will share with you a series of events from my childhood that are never far from my mind these days.

There were several television commercials for what was apparently a popular product. I saw these during the day, so it must have been times when grandma was looking after me and her stories were on. Each commercial featured a plain, dark background, and a pleasant but stern looking man standing in the center of the screen. Then he speaks and comes to life. In one commercial, he strikes a giant match and hold it up; it is about a foot long and burns at the top like a torch, and he says

"Stop the burning pain of hemorrhoids!"

Being six or so years old and having some minimal understanding of human anatomy, I think "What are hemorrhoids? I thought ...."

In the next commercial, same man, same stage, suddenly holds his hands out in front of him, palms spread about two feet apart, and says

"Shrink hemorrhoids with Preparation-H!" and he moves his hands closer together by about two inches on each side. and now I think

"OH GOD! WHAT ARE HEMORRHOIDS?"

Imagery is wasted on the impressionable young. Fear works, for sure, but imagery? Subtlety? Pssshhht.

WATCHING PBS :: ENTRY #1537

D'Oh!

I went to see The Simpsons movie this morning with the girls. It was not Shakespeare, nor was it intended to be. It was fun, and I liked it. If you're a Simspons fan, you'll like it.

I am not bummed so much as I am bleh. I was expecting a call some time this week from the Other Chai so we could book the Disney trip, but it never came. I'll call her on Monday. I was also annoyed that I checked my school email this morning and there was apparently a going-away party last night for a long-time colleague who retired/resigned somewhat spur of the moment, because he got a job in the southwest where his daughter and grandchildren live, and he'd already bought a house there, so he was ready to go at a moment's notice. Even so, I would have gone last night if I'd known; he was a good pal and a terrific colleague. I'm annoyed that there are people who assume that we check our school email on a daily basis during the summer, and that's the best way to disseminate information. It's not. I'm a little surprised that the Other Chai didn't call just to tell me about the party, but it's not as if I expect her to be my social secretary, so I'm not annoyed that she didn't call or anything. I just wish I'd known. I guess I have to start checking it more often. Most of what's there is crap, though. *sigh*

Having a bit of the GERD today (urp). Not so much fun.

And that's my life, folks. R is just leaving, having spent the day with us, and I'm posting and then I have to look up a couple of websites for my sister. Not an exciting evening ahead. (Oh, I'm reading Under the Banner of Heaven, which is about Mormon fundamentalists and the Mormon church in general. Verrry interesting.)

WATCHING SCRUBS :: ENTRY #1536

Shopped. Did Not Drop.

One of the hazards of summer vacation is never knowing what day of the week it is. This is compounded by there being nothing distinctive to watch on TV on any given night. *sigh* Thursday, right?

The Sibs and I outlet-shopped today; I got a silk blouse originally marked $68.00 for $11.00. Which is cool. I don't know if I wrote about this a month or two ago: a conversation I had with the Chum about bargain vs. non-bargain shopping. She said that her mother refused to bargain shop. If she bought something for less than its full retail price, she was sure that there was something wrong with it. I would imagine it was also a badge of honor for her that she could afford to pay full retail price for anything she wanted. I hope they never sent her out to buy a car by herself, which I doubt they did. Anyway, for me, and certainly my mother before me, shopping is a sport, and bargain shopping is what makes it fun. It's part of the game, no? And why spend more for something when you can get it for less? That way, you can buy more stuff.

Ahem.

In other news, K is out on a date again tonight, so, YAY! The transportation arrangements are making me a little nervous, so I guess I'll stay up until she gets home, which should be around midnight. Oy. Why didn't they both just marry high school sweethearts so I could never worry about this stuff? Oh, right, K didn't have one and R's turned out to be a psycho-stalker. Right. Way better not married to that one.

What else can I tell you? The Sibs has offered to go with me to my stress test next Tuesday, which is a good thing. Not that I think I couldn't have gone alone (or they would have told me to bring a driver), but it'll be nice to have her there. She was with me when I was told about my brain tumor lo these many years. So she's not exactly a good luck charm, but remains a good support. I'm thinking now that maybe I'm going to be told to see the pulmonologist (the lung guy) and I'll have to start taking some asthma medication. Because what I need in my life is more medication. *sigh* Oh, I've been on the lower dose of estrogen for about 5 days and I haven't killed anyone yet, so that's a good thing. I need a little counter for my page here that counts the number of days I've gone without hurting anyone. heh heh.

Oh, so when the Hubs came home yesterday, he said hello and went on into the other room to drop off his stuff, and then came right back and said "Did you forget to tell me something? Oh, there's the cat!" Because his first thought, when he saw the new rugs, was that the cat must be dead, or I wouldn't have gotten them. I assured him of both the cat's continued existence, the extreme grossness of the old rugs, and the extreme cheapness of the new ones. And anyway, this cat doesn't pee on the rugs, as the other one did, and he prefers to poop on the furniture rather than the floor. (How lucky for me.) Speaking of which, time to put a load of cat towels in the dryer.

WATCHING UGLY BETTY :: ENTRY #1535

Finally!

A day that I would consider a good summer vacation day. I had energy, I cleaned, I got things done, I sat around, and I talked a bit of Harry here and there. And I have plans for tomorrow.

I started in on the living room after I was up and dressed, and hauled all the rugs -- one in the middle of the room, two runners, and two little ones -- outside to shake them out and air them. At which point I decided not to put them back, if I could help it. So after I got the room dusted and the floor cleaned, and the kitchen floor, I was ready to go out and look for replacements. Except the plumber was coming.

I have an old house, and get this. All up and down my street, the houses are the same. Each one has a big pipe that connects the house to the sewer, each in the same place on each house. And when the development was built, and all finished, the town came around and donated one tree to each house. Where did they plant the trees? Right over the sewer lines, of course. So, one by one, most of the houses have had to replace their sewer lines, which get cracked by the tree roots. Ours has never been replaced, but it's only a matter of time. We actually have one of the few remaining "town" trees. (The development was built in 1949.) So, several times a year, everything backs up and the plumber has to come and snake out that sewer line. At least we caught it early this time.

He was done by 2.15 or so, and out I went. I went to my various places, and got a big rug for $25.00. Then I went to Kohl's, and saw a really nice runner -- looks like a Persian-type rug, feels very nice -- for $100. Well, I wasn't spending that much, especially when I needed two. And then I saw the sign: all rugs, buy one, get one free. Wow. When I paid for the two rugs -- $100 -- the cashier said "Have I nice day" and I said "I think I just did."

So the rugs are good, and even though there was apparently a power failure while I was out, it was okay by the time I got home.

I got a very funny email today while I was waiting for the plumber. It was from someone R works with, so I don't know her of course, but she wrote that R suggested she write to me, because this girl has finished her Harry and none of her friends have yet, and she was dying to talk to someone about it! So we emailed back and forth for an hour or so. In the midst of it, I got email from R saying that she hoped I didn't mind, but she was pretty sure I wouldn't. Ya think?

And then the Sibs called -- she's very hard to get hold of sometimes; I'd tried her twice earlier -- and suggested that we do some outlet shopping tomorrow. So that's cool.

And now to see if the dryer's done.

WATCHING MASH :: ENTRY #1534

It's Just Today

This is the article I mentioned yesterday; it is very much worth reading. It's not from some oddball source, either; it's in The New York Times. (If it asks you for a username/password, you can register -- it's free -- or use library/library.)

I just posted another entry, a rant of sorts triggered by last night's presidential debate. But I thought I'd write a bit about real life as well. Not that it's all that exciting.

I really don't feel great, and haven't all summer. I won't go into the details, which are totally TMI, but some of it is the same old stuff, and some of it is the same less-old stuff, like my back hurting (I'm going to the chiropractor, like a good girl), and I think I'm starting to nervous up over next week's stress test. Even so, I'm pretty well convinced that there's nothing wrong with my heart. I'm thinking it's probably respiratory, since I can't walk up my basement steps without huffing and puffing. I'm going on Tuesday, and I figure a cardiologist can watch me take the test and will know at one point if he has to say "Hey lady, you need a pulmonologist," and there's one in the same office there, too. And then I'll stop by the gastro man on my way out. I've been taking the meds he gave me back in April, which are supposed to make me drowsy (which is why I don't take them more), but I need to go another day or two to see if there's improvement.

On another front, Boo the cat is doing pretty well, but let me tell you: he stinks to high heaven. He can no longer clean himself properly, and he squirms away if we try to clean him so we can only get a little section at a time. I'm reluctant to grab him and hold him tight because he probably weighs only four pounds at this point, maybe a bit more, and is all bones, so I'm literally afraid that I'll break him. He never sits or sleeps on the actual furniture, because everything is covered with towels, which I change all day, as necessary, but the smell is starting to get to me a bit. Poor little guy, it can't be nice for him, either. Gotta try again when he wakes up.

So I did cut down my estrogen, starting Saturday, and I think that's accounting for some of the tension I'm feeling, since there's no real reason for it. I've been sleeping okay so far, but I guess that could change. It takes forever for me to wake up in the morning, and I'm dragging all day long. I did manage to straighten up the living room today and make a trip to recycling, but actually clean? I'll think about it tomorrow, Scarlet.

I thought I had more to write, but my head is totally not clear. Maybe a bit later, if I can think straight.

UPDATE: Lest you think I am ignoring my baby, as soon as I posted, I gave him a nice warm sponge-bath with a soft washcloth, trimmed off a lot of yucky fur places, and washed him all over with nice-smelling cat wipes and gave him a good combing. Part of his problem is that he loves to be groomed so much that he writhes in pleasure and won't hold still, so everyplace is hard to reach. And I changed the towels again, too.

WATCHING DR. PHIL :: ENTRY #1533

Let's Talk

about atheism.

Last night's debate prompted me to think about what I would ask if I submitted a question for the Republican debate in September. I worked it out to be about the influence of religion on today's politics, as well as the alienation of those who do not share mainstream religious beliefs.

Only recently did I become aware of something that was said by former President Bush, and this was back in 1987. Here's part of the interview:

Interviewer: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?

Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.

I can't tell you how angry this made me. Am I an atheist? Probably not. I would be better described as an agnostic, but most certainly, I am someone who does not belong to or take part in any organized religion, and someone to whom faith and/or spirituality are personal and have nothing to do with anyone else. I think that the Constitution protects my right to be that way, if that's what I want. But I know atheists, and have known atheists, and I'm going to tell you about some of them.

The goofiest atheist I know, and you won't be surprised, is the SCM. He is smug and superior in his atheism. He thinks that taking part in any religion is a waste of time, and that people who do so are saps. When I ask him if he supports their right to do so, he agrees, in principle, but believes that on the whole, belief in a higher power is evidence of lesser intelligence. I am not kidding. He is just as self-righteous as any religious-right-wing fundamentalist, but he doesn't see the comparison because, after all, he's right.

My husband, who was raised Catholic, simply does not believe in the existence of a higher power. He believes in science, and does not see the two as compatible, and he's seen no evidence of a higher power to convince him otherwise. He fully supports any individual believing whatever it is he or she wants to believe, and practice. His parents are regular church-goers, and that's fine with him, as long as he doesn't have to go himself. (He doesn't.) It would never occur to him to belittle anyone else's faith, or to share his own beliefs with anyone, unless asked, and even then, he wouldn't go into detail at all.

My father, when asked, would say he was an agnostic. I heard him say that most of my life. He was raised by immigrant parents who were very, very Jewish in their language, their food, their daily lives, but who were not observant of the Jewish religion in any way. He did attend Hebrew school, but was allowed to choose for himself whether or not he would be Bar Mitzvahed, and take the role of an adult member of the synagogue's congregation. He chose No, as his own father had chosen at 13.

There were no discussions about god in my house as I grew up, unless we specifically asked Jack "So, do you believe in god?" and he would usually say "I'm what's called an agnostic. That means I haven't decided yet." Sometimes he would say that it meant he wasn't sure. The last time I asked him -- this was after my mother had died -- he kind of rolled his eyes and made a sort of dismissive "shhh!" sound and said that no, of course he didn't. "So you're an atheist," I asked, "not an agnostic?" He answered that there was no need to put a name on it, he saw no reason to believe that there was a god and that was that. That he'd always felt that way. I asked, was it the war that made you feel that? He thought, and said Maybe, but that he was probably this way before the war. (I should remind former President Bush that Jack, atheism and all, was decorated for bravery for his service to his country during World War II.)

Jack would not discuss his beliefs with us as children, because he didn't want to influence us. He wanted us to decide for ourselves. He deeply respected people with sincere religious beliefs. He loved my Grandpa Sam, his father-in-law, who was the most devout person I have ever known personally. Jack was a big fan of Billy Graham, whom he thought did very good work in the world.

My own beliefs are my own. If I believe in the written tenets of anything, it would be the Constitution of the United States. I'm a very big fan.

WATCHING DR. PHIL :: ENTRY #1532

The Debatable Issues

So I'm watching this goofy debate on CNN in which all the questions have been previously submitted via YouTube. Uh, okay. So far, I have decided that

• CNN never dreamed for a minute that the hearing-impaired would be watching, because their sound sucks.
• I would make a better president than most of these bozos, and these are the Democrats, i.e., the ones I like.
• If I had to vote today, I would vote for Dennis Kucinich. He's the only candidate I've ever heard that has the guts to tell the truth and be different from what conventional wisdom says can be elected. Or Mike Gravel, except he's crazy. (I rather like Bill richardson, too.)

Some of their answers are, in fact, a little more real-world tonight than they generally are. I hope they remain that way, because that's what we need.

Here's my solution to the whole gay marriage/civil union question, btw. I think everybody should be "married" in a civil union. If you want a religious ceremony after that, hey, go ahead. That's the way it works in France and in the UK. I was married by the mayor of the town we had the wedding in. How is that not a civil union? I say, civil unions for everyone, and call it "being married."

And while I'm talking politics, let me just say that when I suggested years ago that our fearless leader was heading towards a coup in which he would take over the government and declare himself dictator -- although he won't use that word -- it sounded pretty far-fetched, but it doesn't anymore. I'm seeing articles every day in mainstream publications expressing the same fear. Tomorrow I'll post a link -- I've lost it at the moment -- to an editorial in today's New York Times explaining the constitutional protections against this, and how our F.L. just doesn't get it. I hope that when the time comes, the Supreme Court will do what's right. They may be our last hope, and even though he appointed them, I think they may still do their job and uphold the Constitution.

Okay. Did I mention that I started cutting back on the estrogen Saturday night? Or did you figure that out on your own? And this is why I don't talk politics often.

Okay, I'm going back to watch the crazies. I think I'm still leaning towards Edwards. I think he has the best shot.

WATCHING THE DEBATE ON CNN :: ENTRY #1531

Nothing to Write About

Not that it's stopping me.

A very quiet day today. I slept until *gasp* 9:00, which is never likely to happen again unless I stay up the night before reading, ergo, it is never likely to happen again. I also napped a little in the afternoon, so I guess I'm caught up now. If that's ever possible, anyway.

Other than that, R was by, and we went to Target. A typical Sunday. Tomorrow, I have a day of running errands here and there, which makes it pretty much an ideal day of summer vacation. I like to go places and I like to get things done. I got a bunch of Costco coupons in the mail a couple of weeks ago, so I'll see if I can get that stuff. And maybe hit The Christmas Tree store for something (if you're not in the northeast, this is a store that sells everything but christmas trees.) It is supposed to rain all day, which is not delightful, but hey, it happens. I won't melt.

And that's the way it is, Sunday, June 22, 2007.

WATCHING THE SIMPSONS :: ENTRY #1530

And ... Done.

Finished. And no more details from me, at least not about the book.

We got our books at 12.15 last night this morning, which was pretty good. The "party" was more like a happy crowd in a bookstore; we spent most of it sitting in the cafe with the Other Chai. Once we had our books, we were on our way, and were home about 12:40. I changed, got comfortable, settled in on the couch, and said

"Eeuuw. What is that smell?"

It was cat shit, of course, which was liberally sprinkled over the half dozen or so towels spread out over the furniture in the family room for this very purpose. So I put my book down, picked up the icky towels, put down clean ones, and put the icky towels in the wash. Sat down again, all cozy, and said

"Eeuuw. What is that smell?"

Only to realize that it was all over the cat as well. Put down the book, reached for the wipes and the cat, and went to work. Poor Boo. Poor me.

I started reading at 1.00 and read until 4.00, but was getting up from time to time to put towels in the dryer, put more towels in the wash, etc. etc. Not a good night for Boo. And I was up and down myself, only I have the sense to go to the appropriate room and not on towels on the furniture (as one would hope.) But really, for the four hours that I was awake and reading, the bathroom was the busiest room in the house, and not just for me. I never knew there was that much night-time activity going on here.

At four, I put the book down and fell asleep on the couch. I approached consciousness around 5.30, but willed myself back to sleep. I was up, washed, and armed with coffee when I started reading again at eight. K slept until 10 -- she had also dropped off to sleep at four -- and we finished our books within an hour of each other early in the afternoon.

Now? Now we are both zombies. I tried to sleep a bit later in the afternoon, but no luck.

I caught up a bit on the phone with the Sibs, who got back from California late last night, but we could use an afternoon together. She was away for 10 days and we only had one real conversation during that time, which is not enough for us.

Well, I am just exhausted. I need to go move some cat towels to the dryer, and then collapse. I know, TMI, the whole cat thing is TMI. This is my exciting life, folks.

WATCHING VH1 :: ENTRY #1529

I'm Waiting ...

I'm not really good at waiting.

So I went to the relevant Borders store this morning, early as usual, because I was up and I was ready and why not? I stopped briefly at the ShopRite in the mall there to pick up a couple of things before driving over to the far end of the mall where the bookstore is. It was about 8.35.

There was a line outside the store. This is the line of people waiting to pick up their bracelets, mind you. The bracelet you get (color, group-letter) determines how early or late in the evening you will get Your Book.

I guess there were 40 or 50 people ahead of me in the line, so we'll be getting our books relatively early, I would imagine between 12.15 and 12.30. And then home.

I had hoped to sleep some during the day, but that didn't quite work out. I did fall asleep this afternoon, but the phone rang after about 20 minutes. I popped up, disoriented, and answered. Someone with an accented voice offered me a wonderful telecommunications deal. Wha? I said "Take me off your call list and never call me back." And the guy continues, something about $39.95, and I said

"There is a law in the United States that says if I say the words 'Take me off your call list', you must hang up and never call me back. You are breaking the law." Click.

Wide awake.

I tried it again around six, but although I rested for nearly an hour with my eyes closed, no sleep.

Now it's nearly 7.30, and I'm thinking, the book is already out in the U.K., so I have to be careful where I go on the Internet, and I can't watch any TV channel with news. I know this is all silly, but I've come this far, and I'd like to read it for myself.

But I don't know how long I'll be able to stay up tonight. I'll see how I feel when we get home; maybe I'll be pumped. Not to mention slightly caffeinated. If not, I'll fall asleep, wake up around six, brush my teeth, feed the cat, make a cup of coffee, and settle in.

I'm sorry, my brain is really only in Harry mode tonight. I'll be back in the real world Sunday -- possibly tomorrow.

WATCHING SVU :: ENTRY #1528

Countdown

One countdown is almost over, and another one is beginning.

Tomorrow night, Harry! At this point, I agree with K: I just want to know what happens already. Not enough to read any of the so-called spoilers that are out there, but just to read the real thing and find out. She and I are going to a Harry Potter party -- really -- tomorrow night; the Other Chai is probably going to meet us there, so we'll hang with her. What adults do at a HPP, I cannot imagine, other than get a decent place to park by getting there early and getting our books at midnight or shortly thereafter. And then home to read. Don't be surprised if my brain is too fried to post an entry on Saturday.

On the other hand, I called the reservations people at DisneyWorld this morning to ask some questions. I got good answers, and reserved a tentative booking, pending talking to the other people involved. So that's starting to feel more and more real every day. It turns out that the solution to the three adults/two beds problem is that there are two hotels that are deluxe, but not super-deluxe, that offer some rooms with one queen-sized bed and a bunk bed. So there you go, three people, three beds. The price was pretty good too, considering that these are the nicer hotels. All I need is a final check of the dates with the Other Chai, and then I can turn on my DW countdown widget. (On my desktop, although maybe I can find one for my site, too. Because I am 9 years old.)

K spoke to the other professor today, and it looks like everything is lined up, hopefully. At which point, it is my understanding, that the school will send me a refund check for the 2007-2008 tuition I've already sent them, four or five months worth. Yum. Just in time to send a check to the Mouse. See how everything works out?

Speaking of which, K finally got to go on that date that was canceled a few weeks ago, while the Hubs and I were away, and he was apparently a pleasant human and she had a good time and it turns out that he went to college (undergrad) and is best buds with a girl who was K's best friend from ages 0 to about 6. (They were born four days apart.) Sometimes the universe works in strange ways.

We're Home

All in all, it was a nice trip, although I'm not so good at being away from home. My mind is already churning on how I can streamline packing for when I go to DisneyWorld in freaking November, because that's the way I am. And anyway, I had to have something to think about on the five hour car ride home today.

This was pretty funny, actually. We decided to go home through Lancaster so that we could at least get a look at this "Amish country" we've been hearing about all our lives. So we did. And let me tell you: Lancaster, PA is just an old city. Old as in 17-- something or other, but nothing to write home about. When we finally got out of the city and back on the highway, we did indeed pass an Amish-looking fellow out in his field with a horse-drawn plow, but even so. And then, after we got home and I turned on the TV, I saw an ad inviting people to visit "wonderful Lancaster County!" Uh ... oh. It's not the city we were supposed to see, but the surrounding county. Well, maybe next time.

In the good at-home news, K had indeed received her graduate assistantship and all the paperwork that goes with it -- so it's official -- and interviewed yesterday with one of the two professors she'll be working with. She'll be a research assistant, helping the professor find the information for a book she's writing. K is not crazy about doing research, but she's very, very good at it. She's going to meet another potential professor tomorrow.

I am very, very tired. Hopefully, I can sleep in just a bit tomorrow. My big tasks for the day are calling the Other Chai and the vet, and getting my nails done, all of them. How demanding could that be?

WATCHING MASH :: ENTRY #1526

Vacations Are Funny

You get home more worn out than when you left.

We did a lot of walking yesterday, but the killer was going up the big observation tower late in the day.



The view was amazing, but the climb -- and the descent -- took a lot out of me. I'm starting to think that what I'm having is not issues with my heart, but with my breathing. By the time I got to the top, I was huffing and puffing a lot, but felt otherwise fine, and as soon as I caught my breath, I was perfectly okay. Oy, but then we started down, and every muscle in my legs screamed "What the HELL do you think you're doing?" My legs are very sore and achy today.

This morning, we did the battlefield again, but on our own and at our own pace. I'll post pictures somewhere within the week, but what makes the battlefield interesting to cruise around, other than the knowing what happened here, is all the monuments. There are monuments simply everywhere, often popping up in unexpected places. each one is dedicated to the memory of the troops who served on that spot, or in some cases to a particular officer who led them there. Some are small, and some are big enough to climb to the top of and walk around on (although few are that big.) For some reason, there are several New York monuments that look like castles. We found very, very few New Jersey monuments, until this one today:



This afternoon, I took a nap and the Hubs went back to hear a ranger give a lecture, for lack of a better word, on the part of the battle that took place on the hill called Little Round Top (which is what turned the tide of the battle decisively against the South). I mentioned this to K when I talked to her on the phone later, and she said it sounded like an activity for history geeks. (Which she proudly calls herself as well.) I said that everyone here is a history geek, but the Little Round Top walk was, as her father said, for the uber-history geeks.

So we're leaving in the morning, possible stopping on our way at what looked like and excellent outlet mall nearby. Or not, if we leave too early. We'll see. We had talked about driving through Lancaster on our way home, which is the heart of Amish country, but it looks complicated to get there, although it's only about an hour away, I think. We may otherwise stop in New Hope, which is a very cute little artsy village on the Pennsylvania-New Jersey border. The Hubs figures he can at least get a vegan meal there, given its local population. Again, we'll see.

I think I need a week at a spa.

WATCHING SVU :: ENTRY #1526

It Was 30 Years Ago Today ...

Yes, folks, I was married 30 years ago today, on a freakishly hot day. New York City was in its first day of recovering from a power blackout that left the Bronx (where my grandmother lived), among other places, in flames from the looting and lawlessness that came in the dark.

Well, that was cheerful, wasn't it?

So it was hot today, and I had some issues with that, but otherwise a nice day. My big surprise of the day was that I did not get a DVD as an anniversary gift (which is what I gave him, you may recall.) I got this:



You coulda knocked me ovah with a feathah. Now, because the Hubs is not a maven* when it comes to the jewels, I have no idea what this actually is. I can tell you this, though. It's the kind of thing that when I see it on a TV commercial, I think "Yeah, right, like I'm ever getting one of those." My guess is that the woman who works with him and who helped convince him to take me on this trip also told him that he had to buy me something and then she went with him and helped him pick it out. I can't imagine him doing this on his own. This is the guy, remember, who showed up in the hospital the morning after R was born -- 35 hours of labor, here -- carrying a shopping bag, so I thought he had a gift for me (how naive) but he had stopped on his way to the hospital and bought himself a very expensive fishing reel in honor of being a new father and he didn't want to leave it in the car. Nada for the new mommy. Yes, some things we always remember, don't we?

I don't know how I'm going to combine this with what I usually wear around my neck (which apparently he's never noticed me wearing for years and years), which is a gold chain that came from my grandmother with my father's wedding ring on it, but I guess I'll work that out somehow.

Okay, so I'm still working on all my pictures, but here's what we did today. We got to the visitor's center before 8, and when it opened, we got on line to get a guided tour. This means that a guide got in our car with us -- she drove, actually -- and for two hours, showed us all over the battlefield and relevant parts of the town, and gave us a tour, just the two of us. They have six guides available at a time, so if you don't get there early, you have to wait. This woman was FABULOUS. Not surprisingly, it turns out that she does this in the summer and is otherwise a history teacher at Gettysburg High School. She was just great.

After lunch, we went on the tour, so to speak, of Eisenhower's farm, which was very eh. He was not a great president, and his wife was a little peculiar, if you ask me. The house is not tremendously fancy or huge, but has some interesting features, things that Mamie apparently thought were just the best you could get. There were two curio cabinets that were basically filled with crap, the kinds of little things that we all gather over our lives and then dump at a garage sale, except she thought they were treasures. You know, little candy dishes and souvenir-y stuff. The house was very very fifties. One of the really very strange things was that one of the rooms was clearly the maid's quarters because on the easy chair in the room, which was facing the small TV, there was a copy of Ebony magazine from the fifties. Way to say "See? A Negro person lived here."

We went to TGI Friday's for dinner, and guess what? Just because they have a veggie burger on the menu in New Jersey, it doesn't mean they have it in Pennsylvania! They did ask us when we went in if we wanted to be in the smoking or non-smoking section, a question no longer relevant in New Jersey, so the Hubs got to smoke even though he didn't get to eat. (He ate the french-fried string beans, which are delish.)

Okay, so, on to tomorrow. A little more town browsing, a leisurely tour of the battlefield on our own, and a guided walking tour of the cemetery. You remember the cemetery, right? Lincoln came here to dedicate the cemetery; they just asked him to say a few words on the occasion.

* a maven is a person who knows a lot about a particular thing, seriously, and is a kind of connoisseur of it. An expert, sort of, but not in an official way. Not a know-it-all, but someone who just really knows.

WATCHING CSI :: ENTRY #1525

From Beautiful Downtown ...

Gettysburg. I packed.

Well, we're not exactly in downtown Gettysburg. Our hotel is a little odd, well off the beaten track but quite large and clean and up to date and ... empty. There are two buildings, and ours is the only car in the lot for our building; the other lot has a few. We are in room 1. This is the Eisenhower Convention Center, and I guess there are no conventions this week. The restaurant, which was recommended to us, does not appear to be open. Oh well, it's Sunday. Maybe the place comes alive during the business week (one can only hope.)

(Oh, no conventions, as such, but lots of bikers here and there, and a lot of places in town and on the outskirts have signs saying "Welcome Bikers!" Don't know what that's about yet.)

It took us about four hours to get here, which is what I expected based on a map search yesterday, and not a bad drive. It looked like it was going to pour from time to time, but there wasn't a drop. After we got here and settled in, we took a ride around to get our bearings. We're actually not far from the entrance to the battlefield/national park, but the visitor's center was closing just as we got there. We need to be back there by 8 tomorrow morning when it opens. So tomorrow looks like a battlefield tour, with a ranger, if we can reserve that, or otherwise we'll rent the audio tour and do it ourselves. Tomorrow or the next day, we'll go take the tour of the Eisenhower Farm, which is only by bus (as in, you can't drive your private car there), but that leaves from the same battlefield visitor's center.

The town itself looks very charming. It has lots of cute looking shops and its share of tacky gift shops. I need to find postcards for boxx! I'm considering asking the Hubs -- who is in remarkably good humor, but I expected him to be -- to get a picture taken in Civil War garb. I don't want one of me, just him in uniform. Now if only he hadn't shaved his beard, he could have done justice to a Robert E. Lee, but this current mustache just won't do. Anyone with just mustaches back then had a big sweeping one, not a neatly trimmed looks-like-his-Italian-grandfather one. We'll see how it goes.

No pictures to post yet, but I expect to have some tomorrow. I tried to take one from the car, but everything went by too fast. I wanted to show you how pretty New Jersey is once you get away from the oil tanks on the Turnpike and the suburban congestion where I live. Yes, folks, I passed lovely rolling hills and valleys, with little towns and farms nestled into the valleys. I saw actual silos and cows and everything, right here in New Jersey. I'll see if I can get a picture on the way home.

Okay, I finally got the air conditioner to work in the room and now I am freezing, but it's right next to the not-so-high-speed ethernet connection, so this is where I have to sit to type. I'm going to log off and see what's on the TV.


WATCHING NOTHING :: ENTRY #1524

Addled

I've been thinking for the last few hours that I would write an entry here, but I already wrote one today, and it's just confusing to write two in one day -- I don't know why I think that -- so I thought I'd check and see what today's entry said and dang if I didn't write yet today. I'm getting OLD, folks!

I have not met the Lincoln impersonator, so I don't know what he looks like, but I think there's a picture of him in some exhibit down there, so I guess I'll see. Except if I see a picture of him in Gettysburg, I guess he'll look like Lincoln, so I still won't know what he looks like in real life. I expect I'll meet him some day; I'll let you know.

I still HAVE NOT PACKED. I've got a variety of things assembled and I picked up a few items I needed. But we're probably not leaving until after lunch tomorrow, so I guess I'll get it done. All my laundry is done and everything is put away, so it shouldn't be hard to find any clothes I need. I doubt that I need anything fancier than jeans, anyway, so that's easy. The only thing I apparently no longer own is shorts. I could not find a single pair of shorts, even something I would wear to the gym. I have acquired a whole lot of capri-length gym wear over the last year, but I guess I dumped all the shorts for some reason. Not that I really need them, but should I decide to enjoy the hot tub at some point, I need something to wear over a bathing suit on the way there. But even that's not definite until I try on a bathing suit tomorrow morning and decide if I'm even going to do that.

I shared my DisneyWorld dilemma with K today, who gave me this advice: get over it. She said, You have the chance to take a trip to your favorite place in the world with two people whose company you enjoy. And your problem is ...? Ah, how wise she is. So I need to chill a little and let go of the crazy. At some point after I get back, I'll call the hotel we're thinking of going to down there and check on some things. Up to four people can stay in a room, or as they put it everywhere, "sleeps a family of four." That's assuming a family of four people sharing two beds. Three unrelated adults? I would prefer three beds, please, but I don't know if that's a possibility. I discussed this with my sister on the phone last night -- she's in California -- and tell me is this is weird. I am a grown woman. I would share a queen sized bed with any of the following:

1. my husband
2. either of my daughters
3. my sister

and that's it. No? Traveling with a friend is one thing. Sharing a bed is quite another. Tell me if I'm wrong.

I just stopped for a minute to help K give Boo is medicine. I think this is not going to be fun for her for the next few days.

So we're off tomorrow after lunch. I'm bringing my computer so I'll probably post from there at some point.

WATCHING E! :: ENTRY #1523

Potterization, Phase I

First, let me just say that people my age shouldn't even take vacations. Why? Because. (And is it embarrassing that one of my kids sent her parents the link to this article? Although I had already seen it myself.)

Okay, so, Potter, Phase I. K and I saw the movie (HP and the Order of the Phoenix) this afternoon. Did I like yet? Yes and no. It looks great, parts of it look incredible. The acting, very good. It's the same with any book that you know really well that gets made into a movie: you tend to notice what's missing almost more than what's there. I need to see the movie again, which no doubt I will, before I'm truly comfortable with it. In the meantime, now I feel like picking up The Half-Blood Prince before the new book comes out on Friday, even though I just read it again a few weeks ago. I'm just wild about Harry.

So it seems that I am making these plans to go to DisneyWorld with the Other Chai, right? Which I mentioned in an email to the Chum, who lives in Maine for the summer. I mentioned it in passing (as in my surprise that the Other Chai appears to be going through with it), although I had mentioned to her before that we were talking about going. She says, maybe she'll join us there.

Now, tell me: should I be pleased or annoyed? Who is the one person outside of my family I have been trying to get to DisneyWorld with for years? The Chum. It's come up several times over the years we've known each other. Finally, maybe five years ago, after her husband had bypass surgery, she said that she could never go, because she would never leave him for that long. Seemed pretty much a closed case to me.

But now, and for the last year, maybe year and a half, she goes to Florida every six to eight weeks because her mother lives there and has been having health issues. So she goes. She's even going once in the middle of the summer from Maine. Anyway, she figures she's going to Florida in November anyway, so she would join us in Orlando from wherever it is she goes to her mother. (Not far from Miami, I think.)

Well. I would have preferred going with just the Chum, since the Other Chai can be a challenge, but I'm not sure how it will be with the three of us. (Although the two of them go way back as well, but not as far as I go with either one of them.) I can't book the trip for three when we book, but I don't know if they'll let us add another person to our room at a later time. And if three of us are going, I think we need to get a better (i.e., bigger) room so that it's not just two double beds. Oy. Complications. Can't anything ever be easy?

Speaking of which, R is all embroiled with complicated friend plans for the weekend, the upshot of which is that she's coming here after work and staying over for the night. I just paused to discuss this with K and got another detail or two, but neither one of us knows what's going on, it turns out. At some point, R will be here. She will show up in her car or we will pick her up at the train. She will have dinner with us or she will have eaten before she arrives, or she and K will go out for sushi.

Boo is on the new food and is getting his medicine more or less, and seems pretty much exactly the way he was before. Which is okay, actually, since he didn't seem sick before, he just needed to be checked out. Whatever.

I need to pack tomorrow. Or at least sometime before we leave in Sunday, I think. I have no idea what the weather is supposed to be there, although I imagine I could look that up pretty easily. You know, most trips I go on, I plan obsessively before I go. (See all references to DisneyWorld, for example.) But other than making the hotel reservation, I'm not planning anything here. The Hubs will figure out how to get there, and pretty much, what to do there. He has a friend who is a Lincoln impersonator -- I kid you not -- who's giving him all kinds of tips and advice. Hey, he oughta know, right?

WATCHING MASH :: ENTRY #1523

Bliss!

I got a haircut today, and when I came out and got into my car at 1.22 pm and turned on the radio ....

Ahhhhhhhh.

There it was. The wonderful oldies station had come back, as promised, at 1.01 pm. The afternoon deejay is one of the familiar old-timers, and I knew all the songs. All of their promos are very cute, too, referring to the station being missed and now it's back. I listened to it at home later, too, while I was *ahem* cleaning. When K got home from class, she said that she had listened to it, too, on the way to and from school. The funny thing is that she said the oldies may be the music of my childhood, but it's the music of her childhood, too, since it's the radio station I listened to as she was growing up.

Other news ... hmm. I haven't packed a thing, but I did start making a list. So that's something. I guess I'll start tomorrow. But the big plans for tomorrow involve going to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Really looking forward to it, and to the book next week. (Okay, really looking forward to the book next week.)

The vet called last night with the results of Boo's bloodwork, which are either good or bad, depending, I guess, on your point of view. Or depending on where things go from here. His kidneys are stable. He shows a slight infection. But he is extremely anemic. If the anemia is being caused by his gastrointestinal ailment, well, he's on new food and a strong antibiotic, so that should help. If it's caused by something else, then it will probably continue to decline. The vet said that most cats would not live with the level of anemia he has, but it's clearly come on him gradually, so he's adjusted to it. Much lower, though, and it would not "be compatible with life." Let me just say how fond I am of this particular vet. He is also very personal and compassionate. A lovely man.

So my only concern now, really, is that the cat could take a sudden turn while the Hubs and I are away. I think this is unlikely, given the fact that Boo has had the "expect-the-end-soon" diagnosis more than once over the last five years, but it's a possibility, and one that I am not sharing with K before we go. I may share a bit with R, though, so she knows to be on call for her sister if something happens. And we'll only be a few hours away, and in our own car, so getting home in an emergency is not a problem. But I don't really think it's coming that soon. Possibly by the end of the summer, but I don't think before that. And then again, you never know.

My sister is away now, for about 10 days I think, which leaves me without my main source of outside conversation. It's always weird when she goes away. I'll hear from her a few times while she's gone -- she's in California visiting her firstborn -- but those are just "Hey, I'm still alive" phone calls, not real conversations. But her middle son is away too, out of the country, in fact, which must be leaving Wonderful Niece feeling pretty deserted by everyone (except her husband, of course.) I just wrote myself a note to call her tomorrow; it'll be good for both of us.

So that's it, then.

WATCHING MASH :: ENTRY #1522

Wednesday

First, let me just say that I've been having lots of trouble with leaving Haloscan comments for people recently, so it's not that I'm not reading or thinking or wanting to leave comments for you guys, I just haven't been able to.

Took BooBoo to the vet today. He now weights 4.8 pounds, so he is one little cat. And half of that is fur. Anyway, the vet gave him some new food to eat and an antibiotic, in case his problem is some sort of stomach bug, and took blood to see if he's anemic or if his kidney disease is progressing. Either way, he seems perfectly happy when he's awake -- he sleeps a lot, but that is, after all, a cat's job, and he's 16 years old -- and eats and drinks well, and all that. So there's the medical update on my little old man.

I went to the chiropractor again -- that is a strange experience, isn't it? I'm not one of those people who feels the need to "crack my back" all the time, and it seems very strange and a little frightening each time I hear that crack. But it seems to leave me feeling pretty good, so I'll go with that.

My surprise yesterday, in my very busy day, is the the Other Chai called in the morning, and we're going to get together to plan the Disney trip after I get home next week. In honor of now believing that we're really going, I went to Barnes aned Noble and bought the current Birnbaum DisneyWorld book. It makes me feel like I'm really going, and I haven't been there for six years -- !! -- and I know a lot has changed since then. I don't find the website that easy to navigate, unless you're looking for something specific; the book is better for a general overview. I've put Ingrid Bergmann aside for a few days, but I'll take her with me on the trip.

My sister can't believe that I haven't started packing yet, and neither can I. I always pack well in advance of wherever I'm going; it's just part of my charm. I could pack for DisneyWorld in November now, but for next week? I don't know, maybe I don't get the reality of it yet, or I don't know what to bring. It's a very surreal thing, this trip.

WATCHING THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #1521

He's Freaking Me Out, Man.

Possible long entry ahead. A few things to get out here.

The "he" of today's title is, of course, my husband. About an hour before K and were going to leave to pick up R at the airport, he says that maybe he'll come with us. Uh ... okay. Unless I don't want him to. No, of course, come with us, if you want. So we're batting it around back and forth until it becomes clear that he's coming. Why? When you find out, let me know.

At which point, K, who was going along so I wouldn't have to drive there alone, says something about it doesn't seem necessary for her to go, and she could have had plans. I did not reply "Sheeyah, right," since her friends are all away and she rarely gets to have plans, so I shrugged it off. And the three of us superfluously went to the airport to pick up someone who wasn't exactly flying in from a year in Europe. The Hubs drove, and K was quiet. After we got home, and R took off for her own home in her car that she had left here, K said again, "I could have had plans, you know," and I remembered that one of her distant friends is now home for the summer. Well, she could have gone somewhere with him. I'm still trying to figure out where the aliens hid the pod when they took over the Hubs.

This morning, K tells me -- and I'm telling no one in the 3D world, only you guys -- that she had a possible date but had to tell the guy that she couldn't go because she had to pick up her sister at the airport. A date! With a living human male! Hopefully they will reschedule, because listen, she is cute as a button and funny and a great catch, just shy when it comes to going places and meeting people in groups (like going to a bar and hanging out just to meet guys. Not her style.)

And then, to finish today's K saga, while she's in class this afternoon, I took a phone message from one of the college's professors who wants to meet her and possibly ask her to be her graduate assistant. So that's good, too.

And now, me, Me, ME! I went to the cardiologist today. I liked him very much. He looked at my family history, my own history, I told him how I can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, etc. and he seemed a little iffy on whether or not I even need a stress test, and then he looked at my EKG from January. He said "Oh, you have to have a stress test. You have an abnormal wave here." "Yeah, the T wave," I said, "it's been abnormal all my life." "Well," he said, "it's time to find out why."

So I'm not worried, since I've lived through brain surgery and any number of other things with this abnormal T wave (whatever that is), and he says I can definitely make it through a normal stress test. The idea is that when I have to stop, well then they've got the information they need. So I'm doing that on July 31 -- no emergency.

And furthermore ...

I wrote sometime back (just copied into blogger from the original dland, scroll down to the end) about how the oldies station I'd been listening to on the radio for nearly 30 years just suddenly changed its format one day without warning. And now, it seems, they are changing back. It's all over the news around here, how the station -- WCBS FM -- lost ratings and revenue by making the change to what they called the "Jack" format, and on Thursday at 1.01 pm -- the station is at 101.1 FM -- they're going back to Oldies. YAY! Not all the old deejays are coming back, but some are. And I don't expect to hear much from the fifties this time around. But I do expect the Beatles to be there. Time will tell.

WATCHING OPRAH :: ENTRY #1520

Got to Admit

it's gotten better. For one, my back was somewhat -- but not completely -- better when I woke up, a little worse after the shower (it's the bending to dry my feet that always gets me, even though I'm careful), and then I did indeed go to the chiropractor. Very nice guy, although just unbelievably chatty, but I do feel pretty good now. I'm going back Wednesday and probably Friday, but that's because I want to be in good shape for the trip next week. After that I hope to get it down to once a week.

I don't know if I'd mentioned this, but I got very turned off to chiropractors about 25 years ago, when I was seeing a group after I was in a car accident and had whiplash. They were very highly recommended, a father, his son and daughter. While I was in the waiting room one day -- my last day there -- a young mother came in with a baby and said to the receptionist that she was back again for another adjustment for the baby because her fever hadn't gone down since the day before, and the receptionist sent her right in. I was very upset, because any rational person would have said "Give that baby tylenol!" or at least wouldn't have "adjusted" her to cure a fever. Anyway, when I filled out all the papers this morning as a new patient, one of the things they had me sign was something that said I understood that a chiropractor can't deal with any medical issues except adjusting your spine. So he was already ahead on points with me when I saw that.

Well, today finally feels like the first day of summer vacation. I did what I wanted to when I wanted to. I was able to start a bit on the cleaning. I really got my desk and all its papers in order. I did not overeat. I started and finished a nice little project. I think that after I post, I may read.

That was another thing last week, my first summer book turned out to be a dud. Last summer, I read London by Edward Rutherfurd and really liked it, as I had really liked his Sarum, which I read several years ago. But I finally had to give up on Forest. I tried it three different times, and got to maybe 200 pages this time before I decided I just couldn't read it. It's so over-written, and boring. I'm going to start the biography of Ingrid Bergman that the Hubs gave me for something or other. I do like biographies, but pretty much only of the old-timey stars, like Bergmann, or Katherine Hepburn, or Cary Grant. Even if they're badly written, the content usually keeps me going.

We'll be off later to pick up R at the airport. I hope her flight isn't delayed; it's scheduled to arrive around 9.00 as it is. Any later than that and I'll be too tired to drive home.

Oh, the bad video I'm watching is the high school musical from my nephew's junior year, which was Bells Are Ringing. It was an odd choice then, already badly dated, and not that well done. (The teacher in charge was replaced at the end of that year.) It was a female-centric show -- the original stage version was a vehicle for Judy Holliday -- but the nephew had what served as the male lead. It's another one of those old tapes that I'm converting to DVD for him. Thank god it's almost over.

WATCHING A BAD VIDEOTAPE :: ENTRY #1519

And On Sunday ...

well, I didn't rest, as such, at least not anymore than I do on a normal day. I did take a nap, but I do that. I've contemplated my situation here and there, and decided that, among other things, once K starts her class tomorrow, it will feel more like "summer" to me. For the last several years, summer has meant that I am home during the workday by myself. It's one of the things I associate with enjoying my summer, and one of the things I look forward to about retirement. It means that I can just get up and do something or go somewhere, if I feel like it. But when K is around, we tend to do things together, so that means I'm waiting for her to get up to go to the mall, or something like that. So that starts tomorrow.

Also, I did not reach the chiropractor today, and didn't leave a message on his machine, but I will call him in the morning, and if he has an opening maybe I can even see him tomorrow. I actually feel like my back and hips are out of alignment, that's exactly what it feels like. As if everything is not fitting together quite properly.

I expect to hear from the Other Chai this week, which is pretty optimistic on my part, to talk about booking the Disney trip for November. But she is a horrible procrastinator, and so there's a good chance she will not remember to call me this week, or the next, or the one after that. Although if I don't hear from her before we go to Gettysburg, I'll call her when we get back. She said she would be away last week, so I'll give her til then.

My ILs are now making great plans for a family get-together in September, which we do most years because the Hubs and his sister both have September birthdays. This was cool when the ILs lived here in Bizarro Town. The current proposal involves all of us driving down to their place NEAR THE F***ING JERSEY SHORE on the Sunday of Labor Day Weekend. Jeebs. What is wrong with them, really? If I had the space, I would have them all here; it would be waaaaaaaay easier and better than spending Labor Day weekend on the Garden State Parkway. And if they drove up here, the traffic would be going the other way. Maybe we should drive down there at night, stay over, have a birthday breakfast, and drive home by noon. Which would never fly with the SIL; we're lucky she makes it to a 3.00 Christmas dinner on time.

Plans for tomorrow include the chiro, hopefully, and then maybe a start on my summer cleaning, and picking up R from the airport, but that won't be until 9.00 pm or so. And keeping my chins up.

WATCHING VH1 :: ENTRY #1518

Yeah, well

It seems to take me forever to post an entry every day, and even when I do, I don't much feel like it. So that and a few other things are leading me to believe that I'm sliding into a bit of a depression. Not an earth-shaking matter, it's just good to recognize it as early as possible, if I can. I don't know why, really; it won't become serious enough to take medication, not now, anyway.

When I talked to my cousin the other day, she reminded me of the pact that she and my sister and I entered into some years ago to monitor each other for signs of bipolar behavior, again, to catch it early, if we've got it. I told her that I've got no signs whatsoever of manic behavior -- experience with my mother tells me that it's pretty hard to hide that -- and all I had was the usual sort of depression. We've all got that, to one degree or another.

I think it's connected to my feeling that the summer hasn't really started yet, which of course, it has. I haven't made any concrete plans, other than Gettysburg next week, and I think that's connected to my back hurting. So I made one decision today:

Tomorrow I am calling the chiropractor and making an appointment for this week. (His office is closed on Saturday and open on Sunday, so I should be able to call and get someone there just to make an appointment.) I even wrote it down on a post-it, so I'll do it for sure.

As for whatever else is going on, I don't know, and I'm sure it'll pass. After all, I've got the new Harry movie coming up this week, and the new book the week after that.

I will admit that I've got some apprehension about our upcoming trip. For one, I have apprehensions about traveling in general, which I mentioned recently, and for another, it will be very weird to spend three/four days with the Hubs 24/7. We just don't do that, as a rule. I think if he's going to change his personality 180 degrees -- again -- that I should get a warning well in advance. It's very disruptive to me.

It's probably that, you know.

WATCHING HP/CHAMBER OF SECRETS :: ENTRY #1517

I'm Still Here

Didn't write yesterday. No reason, just didn't.

So it's Friday. My back is still bothering me, which seems like too long. I'm actually motivated to start my summer cleaning, but I can't do it yet. Bummer.

K and I went out to lunch today with the Sibs and Wonderful Niece, which was delightful. Other than that, there is just not a whole lot going on. It's a beautiful day today, not too hot and not really humid at all, although there's a thunderstorm watch on for later.

I've been contemplating something along the lines of a political entry, but you know, all the news is just so horrific that I probably wouldn't know where to begin. And any little rant I post here is just a grain of sand on the beach. I'm finding something ironic about going to, of all places, Gettysburg next week. There are those who will say that the Battle of Gettysburg is the single most significant event in the history of the United States. The Civil War was our most important social/political development, and Gettysburg was the turning point in that war. Think about it. It was the occasion of the Battle of Gettysburg that led to these words:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

The great task still remains before us, more now than even it did then. Yet it is still true that we must resolve that those dead shall not have died in vain, and that our essential purpose -- our mission statement as Americans, as it were -- is to ensure that government of, by and for the people shall not perish from the earth. I would like to believe that those dying on behalf of our government every day are not dying in vain, but I cannot believe that. Australian officials -- and Australia is one of our strongest and most important allies, in general and certainly in Iraq -- have said that it's true that we are there to protect our oil interests. Didn't we know that all along? Did we -- did anyone -- ever believe that we were there because terrorists "hate our freedom", as that monkey in the White House has said repeatedly? They hate Americans, certainly, and they have good reason to, considering what we're doing to them. Hate our "freedom"? Who thinks that abstractly?

So I'm going to Gettysburg, commemorative of a lie of a different kind: it was a war fought "to free the slaves", but in fact, it was a war fought to maintain the union, to keep the United States intact as a country, and to prove that the federal government was stronger than the individual states', and was dominant. Hell, even the truth in that one sound noble.

Okay, so I ranted a bit. More to come, I'm sure, as I haven't even gotten started on Cheney and impeachment and all of that. If I could vote today, I probably would vote for Dennis Kucinich. I think he's a man with the courage of his convictions. The others are too busy trying to be elected for us to find out if they have it or not.


WATCHING DR. PHIL :: ENTRY #1516

The End of an Era

Well, sort of. There's a Twilight Zone marathon on the SciFi channel today, as there as been a TZ marathon on some channel for years and years now on July 4, Labor Day, and a variety of other holidays. Earlier, I happened to catch a moment of that creepy episode -- that narrows it down -- where there are four greedy relatives waiting for a wealthy old man to die, and he makes them wear masks and then their faces turn into the masks. Anyway, this one stands out for me because one of the mask-wearing relatives was played by a character actor named Milton Selzer.




Ah, Milton. I wrote about him once before. I never met him but I knew who he was my whole life because he was always on TV in something or other, and he had been one of my father's fraternity brothers at the University of New Hampshire in the late 1930s. For the last few years, each time I see him in something -- usually a TZ marathon -- I check him on imdb to see if he's still among us. I checked today for the first time in a long time -- probably since last Labor Day -- and I see that he is now gone. Seems like another link to Jack gone.


Otherwise, it's very overcast here today, not an outside day at all, not that I would be outside. Mostly, we've been watching a lot of the Back to the Futures that are on some channel or other all day. R landed safely in South Carolina before 11.00 this morning. I was just about to take a nap a little while ago when my cousin called from Colorado, so it was very nice to catch up with her. We don't talk often, but have always been close.

I've been reading this 8 Things About Yourself meme here, there, and everywhere, and I don't know if I can come up with 8 things you people don't already know about me. I may toss in one a day here or there, if I can think of anything. Not that I'm not random to begin with, but I guess that would be pretty random.

My back is still bothering me, which seems like a long time now, but then today feels like Sunday, which would make it a week, but it's only Wednesday.

Oh, okay, Random Fact #1:

boxx said something about a lot of her family members having birthdays on or near holidays. Now, one's definition of a holiday plays a role here, however:

1. Both of my mother's parents were born on different nights of Chanukah.
2. My father's mother's birthday was March 15, which was the original Income Tax Day. My father's father's birthday was July 4.
3. My father's oldest sister's birthday was January 20, Inauguration Day. Her husband's birthday was April 15, which is the current Income Tax Day.
   
4. My father's birthday was May 30, the original date of Memorial Day.
5. My mother's birthday was September 2, which was often Labor Day.
6. My cousin's birthday -- the one I was just speaking to -- is February 2, which is Ground Hog Day.
7. My sister was born on May 14, 1948, the day that Israel declared itself an independent nation and was recognized as such by the United States.
   
8. My grandfather's brother, Uncle Joe, had his birthday on October 12, which is Columbus Day. When my sister was born, Uncle Joe suggested to my parents that she be named "Palestine" in honor of the occasion of the day of her birth. She was not.
   
9. Uncle Joe and Aunt Sara were married on Christmas Day. My grandparents were married one week later, on New Year's Day.
10. My parents were married on Christmas Day.

I think that's it. No holiday for me. When I was a kid, I felt like the only one without a special birthday.

WATCHING OPRAH :: ENTRY #1515

We Are Controlling Transmission ...

It's a little after 10.00, Tuesday night. Since both of my children are present in the house, they have taken over the family room. Normally, by this time -- hours before this time -- K has retreated to her room and I get not only the couch, but the remote. When both girls are here together, they never hang out in her room, but here. And since R is sleeping here tonight, and in the family room, I'm not getting it back so soon.

There is nothing on TV tonight, or, as I pointed out to my sister earlier, nothing on TV all summer. When the girls were down in the basement before, they noticed the mountain of old videotapes that I have begged them to work on this summer, and selected one for viewing. We are watching Spice World. For the uninitiated, this is the Spice Girls' movie of god-only-knows how long ago.

The two of them have particular affection for bad, tacky movies, so this qualifies in spades. This is how they watch such things: they comment on them continuously. Sometimes they pause the movie to laugh at a particularly awful moment or style or something. But they comment continuously. Continuously means that they do not stop. They chat throughout the entire movie.

I'm in New Jersey. Send help.

WATCHING SPICE WORLD :: ENTRY #1515

Tuesday

I can't actually say that I did nothing today, although I didn't do much, and I did it pretty much right here. I got my nails done in the morning, but other than that, I was transferring videotapes to DVD, and checking out some of the older DVDs I made on my previous computer system.

One of the DVDs I had made then was of a concert at my school that my oldest nephew was in, a concert of a school rock band that we have. He was the lead singer in his senior year. I had sent him this DVD a few years back, but now he tells me that it never worked. It's easier to dub a tape to DVD using the system I have now, but I can't find that concert video. Oh well. Today I copied the school musical from his senior year -- Little Shop of Horrors, he was Seymour -- and this other video ...

Every ten years, under the old plan, our school and every other high school and college would have to be evaluated in order to be an accredited school. There's a different system in place now, but part of the old plan was that a team of visitors came to your school and studied all your paperwork and wrote a whole report, and their introduction to your school would be a slide-show that had to contain x, y, and z that they laid out in their criteria, but it had to be within a certain time limit, too. And be entertaining. In 1989, it was my job to make the "slideshow", which an assistant and I made as a video. So I dubbed that over today too, and watched it.

Ahh. Of course, I remember every damn minute of making it, all the filming and working with the kids who did the live segments and the kids who did the voice-overs for the slide segments. I used all the prominent kids at the high school, a lot of class and student government officers and a few top athletes. My nephew was vice-president of his class then, so he's in that one, too, mullet and all. Heh heh.

There had to be a segment on the elementary schools in town, and I could not get cooperation from any of them to film during school time and borrow a kid to narrate, so one Sunday afternoon, I marched my two and Wonderful Niece and her twin brother, Good Guy, to the schoolyard down the block and made them repeat their little intro a dozen times. It is just so damn cute. The three big ones are standing in a sort of semi-circle with little K in front of them, holding the giant microphone up to each of them when it was their turn to speak. She was ... 5, I guess, so R would have been 8 and the twins 11. They were too cute.

The part that got me, though, was recognizing all the kids from back then, even the voice-overs just by hearing them. One in particular was a boy who was a freshman then, I think, with a sweet little-boy voice, very earnest, and I remember his baby-face from back then, too. He became one of my class officers in his junior year -- I was the class advisor -- and then remained one for his senior year, by which time he was over six feet tall, a wonderful boy. But the story does not have a happy ending. After college -- Notre Dame, I believe -- he got a wonderful job in New York, in the financial district, and was maybe 25 when one day he stepped off a curb to cross the street and was hit and killed by a taxi. His name comes up from time to time at school, and everyone who knew him reacts the same way. Such a loss, and a waste. And that seems like a long time ago now, too.

So. I watched old videos and was amused and moved. I checked over all the other videos I'd made with the old equipment, and they all seem to work just fine. I watched a segment famous in the annals of our family in which K at about 8 months takes 20 minutes to eat her first Cheerio. It's pretty damn funny.

And now R is here as well, and staying over for tonight, and I'd best call the Sibs before the witching hour.

WATCHING MIAMI INK :: ENTRY #1514

Changed My Mind

Feeling a little better, released a little tension, which is always good for the back.

I'll start with yesterday. Or maybe a bit of Saturday night. Or ...

I've had trouble with my back since ... okay, 1974, but it's really been much better for the last few years. I get occasional backaches, like normal backaches, which is what I seemed to have Saturday night, a little cramp here, a little muscle strain there. No big deal, and it was the same Sunday morning, when I went for my pedicure with the Sibs. I came home and sat at my desk chair for a while, as I do, waiting for the toes to be nice and dry, and then when I got up ... I couldn't.

So my back just got worse as the day wore on, going into spasm. I used heat, I took advil, I stretched myself out flat on the floor for awhile. I'm a little better today, not spasming, as such, but uncomfortable.

Needless to say, I did not take a walk today, although I went briefly to the mall with K in the afternoon, and it was hard walking around there. But I felt that walking around anywhere would be better for my back than sitting in a chair all day, and it was. But I'm tired now.

I finally talked to the Colleague, who was away herself last week, and she gave me some very good input on our upcoming trip. I discussed it with the Hubs when he got home, who is being so pleasant and flexible and easy-going about this whole trip that honestly, I have no idea who he is. So now I have recommendations for two hotels, and although I'm going to call tomorrow, I doubt that we can get either one of them. Although this week is the actual anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg, so all the big hoopla there is going on now, it's a place that people go when they're on vacation, and most people plan more than two weeks ahead of time. I have a third place as a back-up and I know they have rooms (I checked online), so I guess we'll have a place to go. (My first choice had nothing online and said to call the hotel; the second choice doesn't offer online reservations, so I have to call.)

Am I looking forward to the trip? Hmm. Yes and no. If I'm going anyplace (other than DisneyWorld), I'm glad we're going here; I did want to make this trip and see this stuff, and for a while. Am I looking forward to the disruption of being away from home, and packing, and finding suitable food for the Hubs away from home? Not so much. That part just sounds stressful to me. I really am a homebody. I like the places I go to, the rare times I go, but I'm not so good with change, or disruption.

When K and I were in England, for example, four years ago, I lived a dream: I saw the Globe Theatre. It was amazing to be there in every possible way; it could only have been better if we saw an actual play, but it was winter and not their season. It made me very happy. Yet back in the hotel one night, when K had gone out and met some friends who were studying in London, I got very freaked out about being in a hotel and not being home and how out-of-sync with everything I was, and felt. A little bit of an almost-panic attack. It's as if the only place I can go and feel at ease is DisneyWorld. Really, I belong there. I should live there, right on Main Street.

So tomorrow I try for reservations. R is getting out of work early -- her office is closing early for the holiday on Wednesday, nice of them -- so she'll be here sometime in the afternoon, and then for dinner, and then will sleep over on the couch so that her father can get her to the airport nice and early Wednesday morning.

I made an appointment for a consultation with the cardiologist for next week. It seems that I cannot take a standard stress-test, since I can't walk on an incline for more than a minute or two and that's what the test is, so it was decided that I should meet with him first and he'll decide what alternate test I need, and if in fact I need it. I don't have symptoms, really, just indicators, but if I'm getting blocked arteries now, I'd like to know it now and not find out in ten years in an emergency room.

Okay. Now I'm going to lie down.

WATCHING RAYMOND :: ENTRY #1513