Happy New Year, etc.

I don't know how many times as a kid I thought "2000! I'll be so old then!" and never thought beyond that. 2010? It sounds like science fiction to me.

What did I do today? K and I actually went out in the snow this morning -- not much of a snowstorm -- to the mall and got some make-up at the Bare Escentuals store, and scored a neat reusable bag from them as well. (I am very big on the reusable bags.) And then came home. I had a good workout on the Wii, and didn't even take a nap today.

I've had the Twilight Zone marathon off and on; amazingly, they will still show an episode once in a while that I've never seen. And I always change the channel when "The Hitchhiker" comes on because it so totally scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.

I did a ton of online coupon finding today, which I just kind of drifted into, and which has taken up way more time than it needed to. I would really, really like to save money with coupons, but it would just be so much easier if they made coupons for what I want to buy. Anyway, my A&P is doing triple coupons this week, so I've made the effort, checked their flyer, and I still have no idea what I'm doin, but I guess I'll be doing it, probably Sunday. I saw someplace that there will be five, count'em, five coupon inserts in Sunday's paper, so I guess I'll have to wait til then to figure this all out. I am Not Good At This.

New Year's Eve is now and always just another night to me, just another night with bad TV as far as I'm concerned. I have no episodes of Cold Case on the DVR -- have I mentioned my newest find, Cold Case? For one thing, it is not a well made show, not in writing, acting, directing, or even research, but I enjoy watching it, and get this: I only realized yesterday that this show is still actually on a network special. I've been watching the old ones on TNT or whatever it is that shows near-constant Law and Orders, and I only found out yesterday that it's actually still on CBS. Hey, more to record. I like the flashbacks, I guess. Speaking of shows that I need to see every episode of, Home Improvement is coming to TVLand starting Monday. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Anyway, as I was saying, no good TV tonight, but I've been recording a lot of movies lately, so I'll find something there. Or read.

Okay, so a happy and healthy new year to all --

Trying Some New Color

Is this purple? It's supposed to be purple.

And my hair is brown. No pictures yet. It is brown brown, chocolate brown, which is, I guess, what it was when I was a young'un. It's hard to tell what it was up until today, Ray (who does my hair) says it was two shades lighter than black. It did look very dark against the gray, but my hair was never that dark before, back in the olden days. See?


Speaking of which, R was over today and we had a lovely long talk about all things wedding. I wrote yesterday that this is fun, which it is, but also very weird. My baby? Married?

It's Nice to Be on Vacation

Is there anything better than opening your eyes in the morning and realizing that you don't have to go to work today? Ahhhhhhhh.

I made a short supermarket run before, after a really good Wii workout. I hit 30 minutes on the Fit and then bowled and also hit some baseballs. Needless to say, everything hurts, but I'm experimenting with regular Tylenol to see if it has any effect. So far, so good.

I just had a nice long conversation with the bride-to-be, and it looks like all her plans are starting to come together. This is fun! And will be, I suppose, except for the paying for it part. We're currently looking at October 24, but the date is not yet 100% set. The funny thing is that she and the SnL have looked at wedding venues literally all over the state of New Jersey, and it looks at the moment that they're going to be married in the same place, the same room, where the Hubs and I were married 32+ years ago. Pretty amusing, I think. A very nice place, somewhat on the elegant side. We had a cocktail reception wedding -- not a sit-down meal -- and it looks like they're leaning that way as well.

Speaking of the wedding, I've come to a very big decision for me: I'm going to start coloring my hair. Tomorrow, in fact. I have very short hair with a nice touch of gray across the front, but I have no interest in looking like the bride's grandmother. So I'm getting it colored -- my own color -- and tomorrow, Ray (who cuts my hair) and I will develop a plan so that come next October, I have enough hair for him to do something with on the day of the wedding. Oh, and I've lost about four pounds, which means I have until April -- my goal date -- to lose six more. We'll see if that's do-able before I start thinking about another ten, and I'll see where I am in April before I buy a dress. Yes, a dress. I really want to wear a dress, and not pants. As always, the shoes will be my biggest problem.

If I get a decent picture of my new hair tomorrow, I'll post.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Or more to the point, what day it is. It's like we had a week of Sundays here. It's very disorienting.

So we went to the ILs for Christmas. It was not a big gift year, but it was just right. I hope the MIL decides never to do actual shopping again, and just stuff some cash in envelopes and hand that out. The fun thing this year was that the big gifts were for them, the MIL and the FIL. The kids gave them the portrait they had done at Sears, and on cue, the MIL misted all up. It was really great, she just loved it. And she hadn't had the chance to shop for the FIL, but he had asked his daughter (my SIL) to pick out a nice piece of jewelery, so the MIL got to cry at that too.)

The FIL really looked great, and very healthy. He did lose a ton of weight -- certainly over 100 pounds -- but after a few minutes of thinking that he looked different, he just looked like himself, only smaller. It really gave me a great deal of hope that they will be able to move, hopefully by this summer, to that wonderful community that is much closer to us. If we never have to spend another Christmas on the New Jersey Turnpike or the Garden State Parkway, that will be gift enough for us for the rest of our lives.

Yesterday was a very lazy day for me, although I did do tons of laundry. I finished it today, since K is at work and we're not competing for the machines. It's not all put away, but it is all folded and neatly stacked, which is to say, not sitting in a laundry basket for the next two weeks (a la my last load of laundry.) All I have left to fold and put away are the napkins and tablecloth, which are in the dryer.

I've decided to stop using my notify list; I hope that isn't a problem for all three people who are on it, but I've been posting a lot from my phone lately, and I can't do the list from there. Most people, I think, are using RSS feeders these days. I'll take the button off the page in a bit, but someone actually just asked to join the list, so I'm sorry to say I won't be adding you since I won't be sending out notifies anymore.

My remaining chore for the day is to wrap up leftovers for freezing, so I best get to it before the nap monster takes over completely.

It's a Christmas Miracle

My husband is, as we speak, putting on a new toilet seat. This is the miracle. Because I bought the thing nearly three years ago when one of the feet on the inside of the lid of the old toilet seat disappeared, so you can't sit on the closed toilet seat without feeling like you're about to fall over into the sink, but the new one has been sitting there, in its box, since I got it. First it sat in the hallway outside the Hubs' office room, and then, tidying up, probably for Christmas Eve two years ago, I put it into the bathroom, against the wall next to the toilet. And there it sat, collecting dust. When I was cleaning the bathroom just before -- it is Christmas, after all -- I asked him if he might possibly change the seat today, and he said brightly "You know? I was just thinking about doing that!"

Omigod. Men.

(I can't do it myself, btw, because I no longer have the hand strength to unscrew the plastic bolt that holds it there, and didn't even when I bought the new seat.)

One of the odd things about Christmas Eve dinner is that even though we make the whole thing and eat it here (unlike Thanksgiving), is that it's much less work all the way around. It's just a much easier meal, I guess. The Hubs will have to take out the table later, but he can even wait for the SnL to help him, since he'll be here by five. Last year after dinner, the two of them put it away in a flash. Ahhh. Mothers who have only sons may perhaps dream of a daughter in law to go shopping with, or like that. Mothers of daughters dream of someone who can help their husbands lift heavy objects and therefore avoid untimely death.

There's not much I need to do at this point. K is making a squash sauce for one of the two pasta dishes, and when she's done, I'll make the pie. (I got strawberry pie filling. Actually, if strawberries were in season, I could make this filling easy, because I used to make strawberry pies years ago and it's not that labor-intensive to make.) Anyway, so I need to make the pie, and then there's not much more I can do until later. I've got the tablecloth and napkins in the dryer, not that I didn't wash them last year, but then I left them in the basement, so a freshening up was in order. This year, I'll put them away in a drawer in the living room with the other Christmas stuff. And maybe by next year I'll have a real table that doesn't have to be folded up and stuff, and I'll even invite the new ILs, which is to say, R's new ILs, which is to say the machetunim.

Oh, okay, when I left school yesterday, before I went to the supermarket, I made a quick run to the smaller, emptier Macy's in Paramus:

I don't have a firm plan yet, but I knew it was the red that attracted me, so I started with these few pieces: two pasta bowl sets (since we serve two pastas on Christmas Eve) and a smaller serving bowl, which I'm going to use for garlic bread. (I know it's small for bread, but ain't it pretty?) And the whole thing will look nice on the table with my red napkins and white Corel. Hmm, must remember to gather some mugs beforehand. (I have no coffee cups, just assorted mugs hanging on a rack. I'm going to get Fiesta coffee cups and dessert sets, though, probably in rainbow colors. Remind me to write about my mother's dessert sets, which my sister has now, which is fine.)

Okay, so. My stomach is good today, I don't have my knee brace on since I'm not even leaving the house. Dinner and gifts tonight with our newly expanded nuclear family.

Merry Christmas to all who do that sort of thing, and the most peaceful of days to all.

I'm Just Sitting Here

 

We have a half day of school today, so it's 11:15 and we have just a period and a half to go. Out at 12:25. There's not a soul in the library at the moment except me, although there have been people in and out all morning. Oh, here comes a kid. He looks very excited to be here. I've got music playing on the iPhone lying on the desk beside the computer.

 

K and the J-Date thing. The whole "level of Jewish" thing is all in her head; certainly none of it is in mine. It's her perception that other Jewish people might not consider her Jewish enough, if Jewish enough is something they're looking for. It's entirely irrelevant in the real world, and even to her in the real world; she just doesn't see herself as a candidate for J-Date.

 

(The only one my kids can't easily pull off is Irish, because nobody believes them if they claim to be Irish. K especially, with her curly hair, claims Italian and nobody blinks, and of course, they both have an Italian last name, as I do for 32+ years. Not that any of it matters in the least; it's never more than a factoid of varying interest, depending on who you are and what you care about. But my kids are as Irish as they are Italian, and Jewish on my side. They're American mutts.)

 

My mission for today after school is to get the food shopping done for tomorrow night, and then get my nails done, and then go home and be on vacation, and maybe do some Wii Fit. I did some yesterday, so it's not out of the realm of possibility. My guts are not 100% -- and never will be in this life -- but I'd say I'm running at about 80% capacity for Crohn's, so that's not much of a problem. More on the health thing in a moment.

 

I'm on the brink of deciding to acquire a new obsession. Y'know, these things usually just catch me; I don't generally plan for them and think ahead of time. But here's what I'm thinking about: Fiestaware. I don't actually have good china -- or need it -- and my everyday dishes are white Corel, about 20 years old. Am I due for something nice? Should I pick a color and stick with it, or a color scheme, or just go rainbow crazy? Answers, please! Who are the Fiesta people out there? And do I have time to pick up a couple of serving pieces for tomorrow night? Tune in next time ...

 

Okay, so here's an interesting medical conundrum. I may have mentioned, or maybe not, that the rheumatologist wants to put me on stronger medication, an "injectible," which is something I would give myself injections of at home, or something I would get every eight weeks or so in a three hour IV drip at the doctor's office. I have some reluctance to go with either of these, and will be doing a lot of research and questioning. My Crohn's is essentially under control -- they're Crohn's treatments, too -- so he's doing this to try to knock out my arthritis pain, primarily, but it would also affect the Crohn's meds I take, and therefore, how my condition is managed. But here's an interesting tidbit of information:

 

New Jersey is on the brink of legalizing medical marijuana. I've read the legislation. I would most certainly qualify for it.

 

I'm thinking, shouldn't I try that before I go whole hog into the injectibles? I doubt that I would have to change my current meds; the mm would complement it, helping both the pain and the spasmic activity that goes along with what I've got. And I'm thinking, waaaaaay more fun than a three hour IV drip, no?

 

Just a thought there. Seriously, if I wanted to try it now, I'm sure I could come up with any number of avenues to get some, but I've always taken that teacher thing pretty seriously, and certainly have not touched a drop -- a crumb, a leaf, a whatever -- since I signed my contract nearly 33 years ago. But if it becomes legal, then I think it would be worth a shot. The worst it can do is not help me.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am not hobbling around like a little old .... whatever, there's no politically correct word that fits the end of that sentence. You know what I mean. I come to work every day, I Wii Fit, I'm going to a wedding next year. I stand up relatively straight. I do have some level of pain all the time, but it's not debilitating; I could have this all much worse. (Did I tell you that the rhematologist -- his name is Gross, btw; I don't want to type that rh word anymore -- says that I have bursitis in my hips? So I have bursitis now? What's next, leprosy? WIll I have to go to a special leprosy doctor, then? What the hell could his name be, I wonder; I've already got a doctor who's Gross.)

 

I have my Happy mix playing, so right now I'm listening to the Kinks' "Come Dancing," which I love. I'll see what's next, and then post ... wait for it ...

 

"California Girls." Have a happy day, y'all.

*Ahem*

You know, when I say that I never knew a time in my life when I didn't have post-nasal drip, I'm not making that up, it goes to my earliest memories, when I thought it was just a part of the normal human condition and everybody always had gunk like that at the back of their throats. At this point, however, I no longer find it amusing, not at all. Let the torch be passed to a new generation of hackers and throat clearers.

So, I'm here at work again, turns out to be the best place to blog from, which so many of you already knew, but since I would never log into my site here, the email thing is quite handy. And pretty, too, since my emails type in purple. I'll have to check when I get home and see what they look like on the actual diary.

 

Oh, a special request. I got a comment from someone yesterday, a fellow -- or sister, more likely -- Crohnie, like me, and I need more, more! If that commenter would be kind enough to email me at oldewoman at gmail.com, I have soooo many more questions. I don't think I even wrote about my upcoming dilemna regarding the injectible meds -- did I? -- but I am in fact in the throes of making that decision, and writing to someone who's done it would be a huge help.

 

Okay, another story about my moody kid. Much like when she was a very little person, it turns out that her working days -- preschool days, then -- are better than her days off. It took me a while to realize when she was little that she needed the structure of preschool, and on weekends and vacations, she was too much at loose ends and couldn't structure her own time and then she was cranky. I don't think that's the problem now, as such, but she was cranky all weekend, and then again yesterday, came home from work smiling, and tired, and sweet. She may actually have another date tonight, which would be a wonder and a wonderful thing, so let me tell you the absolutely insane thing I did over the weekend:

 

I signed up at J*Date.

 

Sort of.

 

She has tried match*com, with mixed results, and so I have suggested J*Date to her, and she says she's not what the people who sign up there are looking for. She says they are looking for a Jewish wife, and since she says she is technically not really Jewish, or at least, not the kind of Jewish wife they're looking for, she won't do it. So I had to see for myself. Now, there's nothing in the profile that lets you check off "Jewish mother/Italian-Irish father", but you do get to indicate that you are not a practicing Jew, that you never go to synagogue or celebrate anything; you can even indicate if you're not Jewish but thinking about converting.

 

Now that I know it's fine for her, I haven't said anything yet, pending the possibility of a real date later, but what I didn't expect was to get results. This is weird, and not un-creepy. Of course, I gave no names, and gave my own email address to sign up, and did the free trial thing, but I'm starting to get some mail from interested parties. Eeeww. Because these are twenty-something guys, and I used my real zipcode to see if there were a number of possibilities in the area, and now I'm living in fear that I'm going to recognize one of these guys as a former student. Eeeeeeewwwww. So I'll have to go in later and cancel the whole thing; I found out what I wanted to know, and then try to convince her again. Hey, for all she knows, her high school crush could turn up there one of these days, not that that's likely.

 

(P.S. She is, of course, technically Jewish, as all children of Jewish mothers are, that's the Jewish definition of who's Jewish. What she means, I think, is that she is no Jewish mother's idea of what a Jewish daughter-in-law is, but clearly, that's not true either, because the SnL is Jewish and had a Bar Mitzvah even, and still fits in with our fine family tradition of all the men being anti-organize religion atheists. If I had wanted a Jewish son in law, he would technically meet the requirement, but wouldn't in day to day life. That's what she means she's not. She couldn't keep a Jewish household, as such, but then, neither could I.)

 

It's incredibly quiet here in the library today (not the usual state of affairs), and of normal temperature, which stands to reason because I'm wearing a really heavy fleece today and I even brought in a shawl, so I'm shvitzing. (A fleece shawl from QVC, not an Aunt Becky handmade lace-shawl circa 1934. I can't imagine when I would wear one of those.)  And drinking hot tea for my throat, too.

 

One adjustment I need to make for emailed posts is that I can't add the little endpiece I've used for a long time. I could tell you what book I'm currently reading -- nothing at the moment -- but not what I'm watching, since I'm in school, and I don't know what number entry it is anymore, and I don't know if I can put a happy face in, but I may try it with the mail emoticons and see what happens. I'll have to be creative, I guess.

 

 

Period: End of 2, bell is ringing.

Drinking: Rooibos tea, lukewarm

Now For Something Slightly Different

Okay, I'm going to see if I can post this entry by email. Not that you actually care, I'm just saying.

 

Did I write yesterday? I kind of think I did. I never open my diary page at school, so I can't open it and check. Again, not that you care.

 

So I'm at school, feeling much better than I did over the weekend, but with a tummy that's still not 100% cooperative, but managable. I had one class this morning, I have two more this afternoon, but the library's busy most of the day with other groups, just not ones I'm teaching. A regular day for the most part.

 

Whatever cretin came in and subbed for me on Friday sat at my desk -- there's another desk for them to sit at -- and changed all the adjustments on my carefully adjusted chair, and gave away (or took) the good pen at my desk. Cretin. It's not as if I don't have a sign on my chair asking people to please not take it or adjust it. I do, but I guess it's not big enough, so I made a fairly huge sign and put it on my desk where even the visually-impaired wouldn't miss it. Let's see what happens next time, hmm?

 

K was sooooo moody over the weekend, I thought I would just scream. My only lottery winning dream of the moment is to buy her a condo of her own. And yet Thursday, after working late and not getting home til ten, she saw me sick on the couch with Crohn's and immediately hopped up and made me some scrambled eggs so I wouldn't go to sleep without eating anything. She's a joy and a gem, truly, but needs to be out on her own. The new job, although wonderful, doesn't provide that option just yet, but maybe it will in time, or lead to something else.

 

Speaking of part-time jobs, babysitting. Someone told me last week that teenage babysitters are making at least $10.00 an hour in this part of the world. TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!! I once made ten dollars in a night babysitting, because it was New Year's Eve, and the daddy was so loaded when he got home he didn't even know what he was paying me (and I was scared to death the whole ride home with him behind the wheel.) I made 50 cents an hour, and the lady who paid me could never quite figure out Daylight Savings; I lost an hour of pay both in the fall and the spring. I never paid a babysitter myself, because either the grandparents sat, or my eldest nephew sat, and he wouldn't take pay. (We brought him gifts from places we went, though,

like a Yankees cap when we went to a game and he stayed home with baby K.)

 

Anyway, now I know what I can do for extra money after I retire. Look into it, get myself in shape, and babysit. I could charge even more than $10 because I'm a grown up and a retired teacher and old and all, and I could even do it during the day. Something to think about anyway, hey?

 

It's chilly here in the library, where the wind comes sweeping down the corridor and dead-ends at my face, but it's balancing out the hot-flashes, so I'm reasonably comfortable. I could make a cup of tea, but I'm not in the mood. What I really wanted all weekend -- it snowed; you may have heard -- was a big mug of cream of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, but tomato soup is, alas, a part of my past. It didn't actually even snow that much right here where I am; for some reason, we fell into a small strip of New Jersey that got half as much snow as what surrounds us. R, an hour south, got over a foot, but we only got about six inches. The SIL lives northwest of us, near mountains, and when anyone says the word "snow" on TV she gets a foot, but even she only got seven inches this time.

 

Okay, here goes.

Yeah, Frightful, or Something Like It

The weather outside is not especially frightful, certainly not as frightful as we were led to believe. It seems that we -- B.Town and a few surrounding neighbors -- are in a small strip that did not catch the brunt of the storm that is raging everywhere else on the east coast.

I just watched Up, and please do so if you haven't already. It was quite wonderful, but more than that I cannot say.

My feeling crummy during the day Thursday turned into a full-fledged Crohn's attack, intense pain included, by late afternoon, at which point I was sitting in a gymnasium in a county facility waiting for my swine flu shot. I got the shot, and then allowed myself to *ahem* release my pain all the way home by screaming my guts out, so to speak. I mananged to sleep fitfully all night and did not go into work on Friday. I'm better now, but still wrung out and sore. And nauseous often, now, in fact, so I think I will sign off and post.

Oof

Not feeling so swell today.

Not worth going into the details, I just feel pretty crummy. Sadly, I have two more classes to teach this afternoon, and then when I leave at 3:05, I have time to kill before I can go to my swine flu shot appointment at 4:30. I will get there early, of course, and it's near good shopping, of course, but I'll still have a good long time to park myself somewhere and cough my guts out for a while.

Oy. I see a kid across the library playing a game on a computer and you know what? I just don't care. It isn't even worth my starting up my spy program and logging him off. Live and let live, I say. Ooh, maybe I could get that tattooed someplace, too.

K was supposed to be home later yesterday, so I opened all the Amazon boxes sitting in my living room and sorted the gifts out, and consolidated the boxes. Five minutes after I finished, she came home, so that would have been a problem, but it was averted. She's definitely coming home later tonight -- semi-formal holiday party at her new job, long story -- so I can wrap if I want to, but I may just lay down and die. Or actually take a half a percoset, which would probably be about the same. COming to school tomorrow is growing more and more doubtful.

Okay, I have to take a break now and do something about the kid playing the game. He's drawing a crowd.
.
.
.
Well, knock me ovah with a feathah, it's not a game. He and a friend are searching for animated GIFs. Let me check again.
.
He is indeed image searching. Huh, who'd'a thunk it?

Okay, back to the important topic at hand, which is, of course, me. I'm waiting for three more gifts to arrive, but all are purchased now, and even sorted. Oh, I also know what I'm getting for Christmas (hee hee.)

A few months ago, when I ordered the Beatles for Wii full set with the drums and all, I told the Hubs that could be my Christmas and birthday gift, so I'm expecting nothing or a token from him, which is fine. The girls, I may have mentioned, joined with their cousins on the Hubs' side and went and got a portrait photographed, to give to their grandparents, a most lovely thought, and I saw the finished product the the day. It's quite large, a large photo of the four of them, and then on the side, two smaller photos (all three photos in the same mat), one each of the pair of them. A lovely, lovely gift, and beautiful pictures. I said nothing to K (who had brought it home), but I mentioned to R on the phone later that after Christmas, I might like to go to Sears and order myself a nice copy of the one of the two of them, she and K. There was a pause, and then she said "I will not discuss this subject with you." So, hee hee! I bet they got me a nice big one, framed, for meeeeee! It's one of the nices pictures I've seen of the two of them, certainly the best since they're adults. Yay!

And later ...

I meant to post this before I went to lunch, if possible, but I got all busy, so I was just about to post it now and I remembered: it's December 17th. It's my re-birthday. My brain surgery was 18 years ago today. It's always amazing to me how that can recede into my memory and not always, every day, every minute, be the thing that overshadows my life, as I once thought it would, as I once briefly thought it did. Huh.



-- Post From My iPhone

Holiday Checklist

1. Made latkes for Chanukah last week. Lit candles for two nights and then lost interest. Check.
2. Ordered all gifts from Amazon that could concievably be ordered from Amazon over the weekend. Check.
3. Tidied the house and brought the tree up on Saturday. Check.
4. Changed book displays in the library on Monday. Check. (Okay, that's not a holiday thing.)
5. Boxes stacked on the living room couch since they started arriving on Monday. Check.
6. Stayed home from school yesterday and slept late. Despite my cold, finished all my shopping EXCEPT ONE THING. :(

I also had a mammogram yesterday -- went amazingly well, no ultrasound or biopsies for me or the Sibs -- and then a visit with the rheumatologist. It looks like I may have to start move up to the next level in treatment, since this one is not working for me. That means either something I inject mysef with (Humira) or something I go in for every six to eight weeks and get in an IV drip, like chemo (Remicade.) I'm not eager for either one, but it so happens that the mammogram tech was telling me she's on Remicade and it's wonderful, no ill effects. I don't have to decide til February; in the meantime, we're increasing the dosage of what hasn't worked so far. (Note: It was my decision to go with this treatment in the beginning, and for now, not the doctor's. He would have been more aggressive, but I wasn't ready for it.)

Tomorrow after school, I will get a swine flu shot, which will be probably be followed in 24 hours or less by the swine flu. This is my mazel.

On Saturday, I must wrap and we must do the tree, and I must plan for Christmas Eve dinner. R is most likely -- as in she told me she's not -- coming to decorate the tree with us this year, which I have to admit, puts a lump in my throat. I mean, it was bound to happen, and she's got her own tree now. I guess I'll just have to save her one special ornament for her to put up, and K and I will hang everything else. Maybe the Hubs will get in on the hanging too this year; he hasn't hung an ornament since the girls were big enough to do it themselves.

I've only just learned that there was quite the fracas in the library yesterday during my absence. It sounds almost more silly than anything else, but during the lunch period, one boy slapped another in the face, of all odd things, and the slapped boy was astonished and enraged, and absolutely did not fight back, although the attack did cause a cup of coffee (milk and sugar) to fly out of his hand and explode across the couch and several windows. (I swear, I would have 1) become one of the Furies of myth and then 2) would have laughed my pants off.) Anyway, only the slapper is suspended, since every witness agreed that the slapped did not respond in kind, but they're all tense over there in the so-called "lounge" area of the library today, which is now slated to become the "small group instruction" area as soon as I can get the custodians in to make some tables around. Lounge no more. (The lounge seating -- the couch and four armchairs -- will still be scattered around the library, Barnes and Noble-like.) And yet again, the architect's design for this room takes a hit. It never occurred to them that children would have to be supervised. A fine plan.

So, my lunch starts in fifteen minutes, no coverage today, so the library will be closed that period. I am starving. Let's see if I can post this from the old phone, and then I can chow down.


-- Post From My iPhone

Busy Little Elf

I was quite the busy elf today. I cleaned some, which means that the stars must be aligned, or something. I was in and out, to the bank, CVS. I brought the tree up from the basement after rearranging the living room to make room for it.

I got the bulk of the gift shopping done online, and worked out what I need to get in the real world, too. All except the MIL, still no idea there.

The Hubs is staying over a second night with his folks, but may be home tomorrow. I'm starting to miss the guy, y'know?

All is quiet here, just me and the SVU marathon. And the heating pad on my feet. Nice.


-- Post From My iPhone

Welcome to the World of the Bored

Oy. No wonder I usually just call in sick on Debate Tournament Day.

Debate Tournament Day means that our school is hosting a county-wide event, and, as is traditionally done in all schools, the school library is the "headquarters"for all the visiting teams. Not as important as it sounds, it means it's where they leave their coats all day. A cloak-room. For which the library must be closed down to ALL OTHER HUMANS for the day, no entry permitted, in case god forbid someone walks off with a coat that's supposed to be going home with debaters from Fort Lee or Teaneck.

Many times in the past, I have called in sick and the SCM was here to watch over the visiting barbarians, and make no mistake,that they are: rude, sometimes destructive. I have no idea why. But this year there is no SCM, and the odious former advisor to our debate team has moved on to another school, so I told the new co-adivisors that they are responsible for there being an adult in the library to supervise the monsters. Meanwhile, I have relocated for the day to my adjacent computer lab classroom so that our own students still have the opportunity to come in and work. Let me tell you about my computer lab. First of all, it looks like this:

Unlike the library, which generally runs between 63 and 68 degrees, the computer lab is generally a balmy 80 or so. It's 21 degrees outside right now, so of course, I'm dressed for the cold, but I dressed in layers, and I'm sitting at the teacher's desk in the lab here with a heavy fleece jacket on and the window open. The temperature here where I am varies constantly. At the moment, my back is hot, my hands are freezing, my face feels fine. This should be a delightful day.

There is also very little of my real work that I can do here, other than supervise the kids, which I have made my task for the day, but I am BOOOOOOORED. In a moment, I'll go see what books left on my real desk for perusing today.

Today is the final day of work for my dear, dear Colleague, the former library secretary who became a main office secretary when everything got moved and jumbled a few years ago. I have missed her terribly. As of four o'clock today, she is officially retired. Even though we're not close by each other any more in school, I know I will miss her terribly, although we'll still be in contact, more frequently, I hope, since she'll have more time. I'm waiting to hear from her this morning, because I'm having a beautiful bowl of roses sent to her, along with a note that will make her cry. Heh heh. She hates public displays of emotion, but since it's her last day, I've decided that I'm not afraid of her. If she were still the library secretary, I would have done something fabulous. (For her 50th birthday, I filled her little office with 50 different balloons, so there were there when she opened the door in the morning. But the office was so out of the way, it was hardly public, and she enjoyed it.)

Oy. This little classroom is going to be a freaking nightmare when 60 kids all try to get into it at lunchtime. Not gonna happen, my friend. We have 24 computers, two of which don't work, and maybe 6 other seats.

I'm going to look for a book now.



-- Post From My iPhone

A Disappointing Start

I opened my eyes this morning and turned on the TV and immediately saw that the list of schools closed due to the weather was scrolling along the bottom of the screen. Listen, if schools are going to be closed due to weather, and one of them isn't mine, I'm not interested. And none of them today were mine.

It's icky out, a heavy dusting of snow -- if a dusting can be heavy -- followed by a pouring, heavy, cold rain. I left the house this morning to walk out into several inches of deep, heavy slush. Eeuuw. And of course, today was a day I had something big in my car that I had to bring into school. I made two trips.

Now I just feel like I must have overdosed on muscle relaxer, all heavy-headed and not to concerned about anything, but all I took today other than my regular pills was one advil, and that was at 6:30 this morning. I could just curl right up on my desk, or maybe under it, a la George Costanza, and go to sleep.

The Empress suggested SnL as the designation for my future son-in-law, and I like it. I'll worry about a second one when I see one. So for now, SnL he is. I've been doing the holiday shopping for him, from us and from the ILs, and it's interesting to shop in a new way, or rather, for a new person, someone whose tastes I don't know yet as well as I know everyone else's on my list. He was reluctant to give suggestions to R for stuff we could get, which I understand. But I did get him a nice robe and slippers at Old Navy -- it's what he wanted -- and I'll order something I saw from L.L. Bean for the ILs to give him. Then, this weekend, I shall complete all the Amazon shopping for the girls. I never know what to get the Hubs, but I realized that he has cut back on his wine shopping severely due to the family budget crunch, so I can get him a few bottles. (I told him no gifts for me, since I had gotten the Beatles game for the Wii just before the big crunch hit us.) As for the MIL, I have absolutely no idea this year, and I'm usually pretty good with her. You know what would be nice? A Kindle or a Nook, but that's out of our price range for now, as in she would kill us if we got her something that expensive. Another year, perhaps. As for this year .... hmmm. Maybe some nice restaurant gift-cards, so she could get take-out, like from Houlihans or something, it's very close to her, and cook less.

Jeez, a bathrobe. That's big, a big thing to wrap. Now I have to start thinking about wrapping, too.

I am briefly bookless. This needs attention.


-- Post From My iPhone

Greetings from Library Land

I feel like I must be on the moon, and I walked there every step. In other words, physically exhausted. I have been sleeping, but not enough, I guess. If this is what I feel like on Monday, Friday's not looking too good.

Things are quiet today in the land of the library. There were many classes in, but none of them doing research (mostly using the computers for lab simulations and graphing and crap like that), so I've been engaged in a large clerical project. Sadly, not so stimulating to the brain.

Okay, let's see. It snowed here on Saturday, and not in the good way. It was wet,heavy snow that stuck, sometimes rain, sometimes snow. We were supposed to go out to dinner with the fam, but the Hubs had a cold, and with the weather, it just made no sense for anyone to drive up to us just to go out to dinner.

I'm skirting an issue, because I haven't made a decision yet. He who was formerly the GF -- R's Gentleman Friend -- is now my son-in-law to be. I can no longer refer to him as the GF, but the SIL is already in use for my sister-in-law. I need a blog name for him! I'm considering Son, but that would be confusing, and someday K will have a hub as well, so I don't know. I could call him SonL1, butt seems too complicated. I could call him by his initial -- E -- but I already use that for my dear friend E, the ultimate Jewish mother. Help! For now, perhaps I will use Player, as in Player to be Named Later. Not that we're trading for him. But that works, since he is also a big gamer. Player. R and the Player. Okay, that works for now. (But I'll take suggestions.)

Okay, so R had come up here on Saturday because the girls and their two cousins on the Hubs' side had their portrait done at Sears as a Christmas gift for their grandparents. (The MIL has been asking for this for 15 years now.) After that, R and K and I went to *gasp* David's Bridal, where the bride to be tried on gowns. Oh let me tell you, this is fun. One of them was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes, no joke. No decisions, because first they need to find a place and a date, and that will impact the final choice of gown, but yes, it was fun.

The Player was going to drive up and meet us for dinner, but at that point, R just went home; it really was very nasty out. I did a lot of vegging and reading this weekend, but I also got back to the Wii fit -- twice -- and did some solid work on my Christmas list. Not so much on the shopping, but since everything is coming from Amazon, I can wait until next weekend.

The FIL is due to come out of the hospital on Friday, and come home. The MIl says she has help set up there, all of which will be good, I hope. The FIL is feeling pretty good, which I'm guessing anybody would who lost that much weight. His problem, remember, was congestive heart failure, so they've had him on diuretics and all that, and a stict diet, and I am told that he now weighs something just over 200 pounds, which means that in the last month in the hospital, he lost well over a hundred pounds. Can you imagine? I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks, although I hope to get down there this Sunday; I'm told that I wouldn't recognize him (except of course that he'll be in his house and in his chair and all that.)

Okay, books. I finished New York by Edward Rutherfurd, and although I enjoyed it, it was a little odd. The last couple hundred pages of the book were off somehow, as if they'd switched editors, and the second one didn't pick up some things that needed work. A spelling error here and there, and a few real British expressions left in that should have been corrected for the American setting of the book. (Doctors here do not have "surgeries," they have offices. For example.) Now I'm being a sheep and reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. He does not excite me as a writer, and I'm not a fan of suspense and chasing people around, but I am a fan of history and Washington D.C., so there ya go. Perhaps I will finish it tonight, or perhaps tomorrow.

I have to go for bloodwork after school, for a change, and hopefully that will put to rest this whole anemia of chronic disease thing. They will see that there is nothing else wrong with me -- okay, nothing is a relative term here -- and let it go. I don't care for the other alternatives, so this is the one I'm having.

Today is December 7th, also known as the day that will live. (...in infamy, etc.) I'm just saying.


-- Post From My iPhone

Everything Is Peaceful and Serene

I went to the hematologist yesterday. He said that what I have is most likely what they call "anemia of chronic disease," probably due to the Crohn's, but he wants to fill in some gaps in the bloodwork, so I'm going for that on Monday. He did mention what this could possibly, unlikely, be, the tests for which are far down the road. In general, a good news visit. This was really good for me, because, I don't think I mentioned (or maybe I did), the "best hematologist in New Jersey", to whom I was sent, is also the best oncologist in New Jersey, and was, in fact, my mother's oncologist. It was very creepy for me to go to that office (the Hubs went with me) and even to see him again, although he is quite a character (the doctor) and delightful and funny and warm, and it's always good to know you're seeing the best, eh?

I'm going to attempt to start working with the Wii Fit again, today after school. I haven't done it in a long time because, well, everything hurts, but if everything is going to hurt, I've got little choice but to continue my life hurting. Maybe the exercises will help, who knows, but I won't do anything that will make it worse, or cause more pain, so why not do it?

Also, after taking a very serious vow when I got the Crohn's diagnosis never to diet again, well ... What I didn't consider at the time, I suppose, was that I would be marrying off a kid and I would need to wear something nice to her wedding, and that requires less poundage for me. At this point -- about 165, and remember, I'm five foot two -- I couldn't do anything more than matronly. And yes, I am matronly, but I cover it up most of the time with jeans and denim shirts. Not so for a wedding. And you know what? I would really, really like to wear a dress, and not dressy pants. I can get away with a dress because my legs still look okay, and maybe I'll even wear a long dress, but I don't want to look fat, or chunky, or whatever. Nothing I can do about the triple-D girls, although maybe a little weight loss would bring me down to a double-D. Anyway, here's my goal: to lose twenty pounds by July 1. I think that's entirely do-able, if my body lets me lose weight at all. At 145, even though that's not skinny, people will gasp and say "Oh, you're so skinny!" because, you know, I'll have lost 20 pounds. And July 1 should give me enough time to get a dress for an October or November wedding, which is what they're talking about.

So, to recap:
1. R engaged.
2. Sister freed from life-threatening illness.
3. K is employed.
4. I don't have cancer
5. K has a date tonight!

All in all, we're doing okay. It's so nice when things just work.


-- Post From My iPhone

Everything's Coming Up Chai!

Okay, so let's see. Thursday night, R got engaged.

On Friday, we took the MIL to see a fabulous senior citizens facility, which she and the FIL have already decided to move to.

Yesterday, my sister had a sleep study that showed that her new medication is working and her sleep apnea is gone, so she is not going to die in five minutes.

And today?

K GOT A JOB!!!

Yes, it's true, it's true! It's not a classroom teaching job, but it's a sweet one nonetheless. She is going to be the director of educational programming at a small museum about a half hour from here. It's on the site of a very old estate, and has both colonial and Victorian buildings and is lovely. (I've seen the website.) It's a real job, currently not full-time, but that means she can still sub a couple of days a week if she wants. What it does mean is this: REGULAR INCOME. IN HER CHOSEN FIELD.

Whatever else there is to know, she'll find out. The guy who told her on the phone asked when she could start, and she said she was tempted to tell him that she'd be there as soon as school was over today. (She's starting on Thursday.)

*breathe*breathe*breathe*

So I think this bodes well for my own doctor's appointment tomorrow, because I am just that kind of superstitious. We're on a roll baby.

Thanksgiving News

First, I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving, as we did. We assembled this year at the home of Wonderful Niece and her Wonderful Husband, who were delightful hosts, and we all brought food and all of it was kick-ass. My sister sat somewhat in a fog, but she was there. Sitting across the table from her, I could really see that she is not in good shape. She says it's the fibromyalgia that makes her foggy; while I don't doubt that, I have it too and it's just manifesting differently in me. I'm not in a fog, I just have pain, and I'm limited in what I can take for it. She takes meds that eliminate most of the pain, but it's as if she's always moving through molasses. We all need time to work things out, I guess.

The big news, which R shared with us all Friday morning, is that after she and her Gentleman Friend got home from our Thanksgiving dinner, he proposed and gave her a lovely ring, an aquamarine, which she wanted in place of a diamond. My baby is engaged! YAY! WOW! We could not be happier. They're thinking of a wedding next October or November, so we have a long way to go with that, and knowing my kid, it will be non-traditional in many ways. She's already looking at non-traditional wedding gowns. That's my kid, all the way.

My FIL is still in the hospital, although improving, I believe; I think he's now in a room that's the last step before being released to a rehab facility. Even so, it seems that he still thinks he's in charge, and tells them that he won't take certain meds or do certain exercises, and they let him get away with it. In the meantime, yesterday the Hubs and I and his sister and her husband took the MIL to see a new community to consider moving to. It's twenty minutes away from us and fifteen minutes away from them and it is GORGEOUS. I would move there now if I could. I'll go into more detail should they decide to go there, but let me just say that it is perfect in every single way, other than leaving their current friends behind, but this new place is all about community, and the ILs are very social people, so they'll have no trouble making new friends, as they did when they moved to where they are now. I hope hope hope it all works out and they go there. It would be the perfect place for her to be when his time comes, and she's without him.

We were having the most perfect weather, not a bit of cold, all through Thanksgiving night, and then we woke up yesterday to chilly wind and lower temps. It's nasty outside, although it's beautifully sunny today, unlike yesterday. On Thursday, I didn't even throw a jacket over my t-shirt/denim shirt uniform, and I didn't even need it when we left to come home. Today, not so much. I go outside for a minute, and my short, short hair is all standing up, like I'm in a Little Rascals movie and I just stuck my finger in a socket. Not attractive.

Okay, so I'm going to change a wash and see what else is going on. No stores for me this weekend except the supermarket.




watching L/O :: ENTRY #2136
READING: New York by Edward Rutherfurd

Gone Missing

LA asked in a comment if I'd gone missing, and in a way, I have, although not intentionally. It's more a matter of not having the wherewithall to do anything in the evenings when I'm home. By seven, the latest, I'm usually under a blanket with a heating pad on my feet. I've only started reading again, really, this week.

I miss writing, although I'm keeping up with reading you all. Every day, I think, I need to write today, but what to write? Where to start? What to include? I've always wondered about those diarists I read who stop writing for so long that I think they've given up, and one day there they are again, just a regular entry; it makes me feel as if they've been writing somewhere all along, and I've missed it. You know, I haven't read anything in a year, and they start with something like "Let me tell you how it turned out with Bob when he was here last week" or something else absurdly current, and I'm "Huh?" That is not my plan.

It is also not my plan to make this a list of my medical complaints, as you know, but it sometimes turns into that, and I'll include some of that here, just because it's so weird. But first, a bit of recap:

I am not depressed, which is always nice, but a little weirded out by what's going on. (See below.)

Still no job for K, but a nice interview last week at a museum, fingers crossed.

The FIL is still in the hospital, I'm sure I've mentioned that already. He had congestive heart failure, and is now, I understand, refusing to take some of his medication because presumably he believes he knows better than all the doctors. We also heard yesterday that they had to change his room because he was yelling at his roommate. If this is true, then he also has dementia, but it doesn't seem like it can be true because it's not like him, unless the roommate was bothering him first.

Okay, here's my story. I feel the same, no better, no worse. Some days I gots pain, some days, not so much. I saw Resnick last week (the G.I.) and he says I have something called "anemia of disease" which is a kind of anemia you get with chronic illnesses. My iron is high, so I totally don't understand this. He says that just to be sure, he wants a hematologist to review my labwork. So I said to him "Hmm. When I think heamatologist, I think oncologist." He says, oh no no, he sees no sign of that in my bloodwork and he's 95% sure it's this anemia of disease, but he's sending me to THE BEST hematologist and he'll tell us for sure. Okay, says I, who is this guy? He gives me the doctor's name.

The doctor who was my mother's oncologist.

Yes, all oncologists (that's cancer specialists) are also hematologists (that's blood specialists), although not always vice-versa. This guy does both, apparently, and I already know him and he's one of my favorite doctors of all time. But I'm having a post-traumatic stress thing going on here at the thought of going back into that office. I do not have happy memories associated with going there, although I love this doctor. So that's next Wednesday.

Oh, and did I mention that the brain tumor was diagnosed 18 years ago THIS WEEK? That I spent the morning before Thanksgiving -- essentially now -- in school, at the big pep rally, running out into the hall in tears every five minutes? Of course, I was waaaay better as soon as I got home from school and decided that my sister and I would go to Disney World the upcoming April, which we did. But this week holds lots and lots of stressful memories for me too.

In other news, I have overcome the most recent money crisis, which I think was also keeping me from writing, because it was much on my mind, and tomorrow is Thanksgiving, held this year at the home of Wonderful Niece. I start my cooking tonight. So far, it looks like our traditional meal with a few new things thrown in, but nothing left out. After a few false starts, my sister has given up trying to remake it in some weird image. Looking forward to a great day.

Reading. I'm going to post this from my phone, so I won't have my normal entry #/what I'm watching/reading at the bottom. I've read Homer and Langley this week, the new book by E.L. Doctorow, which I liked, and two YA dystopia books by Suzanne Collins, the first two books in a trilogy: The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. Liked them both. Also The Guinea Pig Diaries by A.J. Jacobs, who is funny. And now, of all things, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, which my sister has been trying to get me to read for years, and I'm liking it very much. I'm building up my strength to read New York: The Novel, by Edward Rutherfurd, which is some 900 pages long and I've got it as an ebook. So I'll be at it for some time.

Well, I'm back, baby. A wonderful Thanksgiving to you all, remember, it's my favorite holiday, and I hope it's a nice one for you as well. See you again soon.


-- Post From My iPhone

Meme

I took a meme from the lovely Bitchypoo


The Strange Question Meme, Part 1.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? It might be blue and white, or it might be purple and white. It's an Oral-B spinbrush of some kind, which I keep in the medicine cabinet, and not out on the counter, so I don't see it unless I'm using it. I never have my glasses on when I'm brushing my teeth. (Although I can see colors without my glasses. I'm just saying.)

2. Name one person who made you smile today. It's still early.

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? I was in the library, watching the crowd of early morning kids rush out as the first bell was just ringing.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Hah. 45 minutes ago it was 8 am.

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Oh, so hard to say. I love me a Butterfingers, but my teeth don't so much like them anymore, so I haven't had one in ages. I like a Nestle's Crunch bar, too. But if I pick up a candy bar in an impulse buy, it's usually a Three Musketeers.

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? I've certainly never had even the opportunity to go to one, let alone to actually go.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "No, the computer lab's only open today periods 1 and 6." (I had just been asked about period 3.)

8. What is your favorite ice cream? I'll always go for vanilla, but I'm very fond of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? I just finished a mug of white tea. Not bad.

10. Do you like your wallet? I do. In fact, I have two nice Vera Bradley wallets, one more like a clutch with its own strap, and one that fits in my back pocket. I change off between them whenever the mood strikes. They're in the same pattern, so I think of them just as variations on one wallet.

11. What was the last thing you ate? When I got into the library this morning, I nuked a little tortilla with American cheese in it.

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Not a one.

13. The last sporting event you watched? I cannot even imagine. I didn't watch any baseball this year at all.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? I like plain, hot popcorn, maybe with a little salt. Of course, I also enjoy it drenched in real butter, but I don't go out of my way for that.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? The Sibs, last night.

16. Ever go camping? Yes, but not for a long time. Both of the girls were little, maybe K was four. Although I may have gone with Girl Scouts after that, a few years after.

17. Do you take vitamins daily? Every evening.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? What church would have me? No, seriously: of course not.

19. Do you have a tan? Almost never, and certainly not now.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Depends on the mood, but I'm quite fond of both.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I drink almost all cold drinks with a straw. It's easier for me that way than worrying about what might be dribbling out of the paralyzed side of my mouth.

22. What did your last text message say? It says "Whatsup?"

23. What are you doing tomorrow? What I'm doing today, presumably: working from seven to three, more or less. And then getting my nails done.

24. Favorite color? Purple.

25. Look to your left; what do you see? To my immediate left, the stuff on the left side of my desk: files, post-its, clock, pencil cup, picture of my parents, book return basket.

To my far left, four library tables in a row, and beyond that, the Big White Wall, which we use to project stuff on.

November 12

I didn't write yesterday, what else is new, but I did think about my father a great deal, what with it being Veterans' Day and all, and I watched something on PBS last night about some American airmen who were shot down over Borneo during World War II and were rescued by the indigenous people, very interesting. I thought I would write, but I didn't.

During third period this morning, I took myself from the library, and after a brief pit-stop, headed over to the office where I had to discuss some budget details. I turned the corner to pass through the big cafeteria, and saw that it was full of people, almost every table full. Now, this happens sometimes, for one reason or another, and I slowed down to see if I could figure out what the event was that was going on there. And I began to realize that at each table sat one or two very old men (at one table an old man and an old woman), and that they were talking to the kids seated around them. Most of the kids were listening politely; at some tables, the kids were fascinated, couldn't take their eyes off their guest speaker. All of the elderly visitors were wearing VFW caps or jackets or both. It was one of the most moving Veterans Day celebrations I've ever seen. I stood at the side, watching, for several minutes. At some tables, the kids were laughing at a funny story that had just been told, at some tables, I could see expressions of amazed understanding on their faces. The veterans, our heroes, were animated, fascinating. I wanted to go ovver to one of them, anyone of them, and thank them for what they'd done for us, but I couldn't bear to interrupt anyone, so I just watched. At one table, there was a man I knew, close to my age, who was a Vietnam vet, but most of them were from World War II, maybe a few from Korea. I thought of my father again; I could almost see him sitting at a table with kids and telling his stories. My kids or my sister's would have been so proud to have him come into school and do that, but no one thought of it then. Anyway, it was just a beautiful thing that I'm very happy to have seen.





watching L/O :: ENTRY #2134
READING: Slept Away by Julie Kraut

Politics

I haven't ranted politically for some time. I want to talk about health care. I'm a health care success story, not because I'm healthy, but because I'm not dead.
I was lucky growing up in that my father owned his own business, with a partner, and the business bought the health insurance for both families. I'm lucky that I became a teacher, and in New Jersey, that comes with health care. And that when I retire after 37 years, I'll have that health care for life.
Otherwise, I would be dead, for sure. My brain tumor, although not malignant, would have grown so large that it caused other brain functions to stop. That was about $65k, as I recall, 18 years ago. No brain tumor? I could never afford the $700 a month of Crohn's meds that keep me from bleeding to death. And if I didn't already have insurance, I'd never get it, not with this history. I am very, very lucky.
I want to know who doesn't deserve health care. I want to know why there are politicians (who have excellent health care, btw) think that there are some people who just don't deserve it. Who chooses? There are your death panels: politicians and insurance companies who decide who gets health care, that is, who lives and who dies. They already exist.
If we are the wonderful country we want to believe we are, we need to protect all of us, especially those who need protecting the most. Thete is no possible justification for anything otherwise.





-- Post From My iPhone

My Week in Review

Friday already?

So this is the second of my two days off, and what can I say? I LOVE THIS. I don't love it enough to retire yet, but I love it plenty. I slept nice and late yesterday, although I woke up with the alarm this morning due to a doctor's appointment. (Meds adjusted, no big deal.) But then I took a nap from 11:45 to 2:45!!! YAY!! Go me!

So it's that kind of lazy time off. The biggest project I worked on was getting all my pictures uploaded to Picasa; I'm not sure why or what I'm going to do with them there. Tag them, I guess, so I can find stuff.

My desk is neat, my bills are are ready to go as soon as someone gives me some money. (And it's on its way, I'm happy to say.) I have laundry to do, but not urgently.

K has gone to visit an old roommate in DC for a few days, from yesterday to Sunday, so the house is quiet -- it's always quite, actually; I never once had to tell a kid to turn down music -- but it's neater when she's gone. No dishes in the sink, no jackets on the couch, and so on.

Oh, btw, I apologize to the rest of the country for the moron New Jersey elected as its governor the other day. A big, stupid idiot-oaf, a former prosecutor who, according to his campaign ads, doesn't understand some basic law. Heaven knows what rights he will attempt to take away from us; he's a conservative buffoon, as opposed to the financial genius (former CEO of Goldman Sachs) who was our incumbent. We always elect liberal senators in New Jersey, but every so often, the electorate settles on some fascist for governor. Ah well, time will tell.

I'm much better than I was last week, but the post nasal drip is still kicking my butt. I'm on multiple nasal sprays now, and am guzzling tea like there's no tomorrow.l




watching PROJECT RUNWAY :: ENTRY #2132
READING: Slept Away by Julie Kraut

La di dah

La di dah, here I am, back in the library again. I'm feeling much, much better than I was last week, or even Saturday. In the absence of actual classes to teach today, I've resumed my shelf-shifting project, which is moving reference books from shelf to shelf, compacting them, changing the shelf height, and so forth. Fun for me today!

I was just looking over an application to become a Google certified teacher. Yes, there is such a thing. I know someone who's been to the training, and there's a workshop coming up in DC in December, which is within my reach. I doubt that I'll be accepted -- they only take 50 per session from many hundreds of applications -- but it occurs to me that this is something I could do in retirement: give training in the google education apps at various schools. Anyway, part of the application is a one minute video about either "Motivation and Learning" or "Classroom Innovation." I don't have to be in the video, I just have to make it, and make it good. The deadline is November 9, which is, oh, hey, in a week. So I may or may not. I have to think about it. But it would be an interesting thing to do, and a day off from school, I guess. I could take the train, I like trains.

I brought in the leftover candy from Saturday and have it here on my desk at school for kids to take, but of course, I'm eating it as well. Talk about not well thought out, and I do it every year.

I have a short work week due to Thursday and Friday off for New Jersey teachers convention. Don't get me started; I think it's a scam, too, but it's a forever-long tradition in the state. For me, that means a doctor on Friday and a haircut and pedi on Thursday, and some sleeping late, I hope. I've been sleeping so strangely since the clock change. I never really understand that whole thing, I just go along with what's going on, but I don't really get it, the way I don't really get quarts and pints, or math. But it was nice that it wasn't dark when I left for work this morning. This evening, however, is gonna suck.

I think I'm going to give the new pain med a try again tomorrow. *deep breath* I'm only going to take a half pill, so I don't think I'll get stoned, but now that I'm off everything I was doing for the cold, including the round the clock tylenol followed by three or four days of advil -- bad me! -- well ... everything kinda hurts. I know it's just a matter of testing everything out until I find what works and in what amount. Today it's mostly the elbows and knees that hurt. (Hey, maybe I should go sit on a low stool and move more big heavy reference books!) I already warned the school nurse that I'll be doing this, so she'll have a place ready for me to lie down and sleep it off, if it comes to that (which it won't. I did once accidentally take sleeping pills in the morning and not realize it until I got to school, and I slept in the nurse's office for the first three hours of the day.)

Later that same day ...

Oy, I'm tired and achy all over. I need drugs! Okay, maybe just drug. Just one.

I have about forty minutes to go until the bell, and then a faculty meeting, with MANDATORY attendance. I usually just skip them, but I have to go today. Review to follow.

Tick Tock

8:51 am in the library. I'm either about to make a wonderful discovery, or a disaster is about to strike. Hold on .....

8:59. No disaster, anyway; discovery remains to be seen. I just used the pod coffeemaker to make a cup of tea. Since the tea bags aren't the same size and shape as a pod -- I used two tea bags -- I thought there might suddenly be boiling hot water shooting out from everywhere, but no, just a little leaking into the base, where it's supposed to go. Whether or not the tea tastes like tea or coffee, I'll let you know after it cools down a bit.

Again this morning, I had to go head to head with the powers that be over the most foolish thing: they need to provide me reasonable access to a bathroom. Why is this so freaking hard for them? The bathroom right downstairs from the library has had its lock removed, so it's no longer usable. They need to find me another alternative, and quick. The medications I'm taking are not making things easy for me this week; in fact, one of the main reasons I stayed home last Friday was not because of the cough or the cold, but to be near the bathroom. Seems like it should be a basic human rights thing, eh? It's not like I'm toiling in a remote rice paddy is southeast Asia, this is New Jersey, for god's sake. People have bathrooms here, we pretty much expect it.

9:13 am. Good tea.

It's a quiet day here, although busy. I have a class scheduled into the computer lab every period of the day, but nothing I have to teach. I'm still putting off my shelf-shifting project, but I do have to check shelves for books that may or may not be overdue, and then send out the notices.

And I may just go make another cup of tea. I generally only like very ordinary tea, green or black, decaf, but I brought in a container of pink grapefruit green tea in a can, I forget who makes it, you know, the people who put overpriced interestingly flavored teas in tall cans. I don't know how long we had this one at home, but I'll give it a shot.

I just found out that there's no coverage for lunch today, so the library has to close that period. I need to go change the sign at the door, hold on ....

10:02 am. Today is the third of the three days set aside for seniors to review their college essays with English teachers, something they do in the library. Today is also the second day that our computer network has decided not to let anyone login to Hotmail or Yahoomail. Swell. And of course, kids who finished their essays at home last night emailed them to themselves for easy printing once they got to the library. So I just logged into a girl's Hotmail account on my iPhone and forwarded her essay to both my school and personal email accounts -- guess which one never arrived -- and printed it out for her. Oh yes, we're very high tech here. What amused me was that the girl's password was one of those that I use often, and that this was a girl to whom I think I am somehow distantly related through the Hubs. (I have no idea how, but the Hubs' Aunt Marie calls them cousins, and maintains a connection with them, so I guess there's something, unless it's one of those Italian cousins-that-aren't-really-blood-related thing, which is common.) Does that make my iPhone deductible as a business expense?

10:38 am. I've got a class of goofballs with a goofball teacher in the computer lab, taking up about half of the available stations, and I've got a serious science teacher with a serious class in the library's main room, where there are about half as many computers as he needs. What's wrong with this picture?

Time for more tea. (It's Republic of Tea, btw. A pink canister that supports breast cancer research, or something; I remember that K bought this tea once and it was outrageously expensive. I'm generally happy with store-brand tea, although I do use Celestial Seasonings green decaf for the iced tea that I mainline when I'm at home.) I'll let you know in a few minutes.

11:09 am Word on the street is that the authorization has come down to put the lock back on the bathroom door, which should be done within the half hour. Yay! Victory is mine!

(Good tea. Mild green tea, no taste of grapefruit, pink or otherwise. Huh.)

1:23 pm, back from lunch. There's a lock on the bathroom door! I saw it with my own eyes! YAAAAAAAAAAY!

They just made a school-wide announcement about what kinds of costumes are appropriate for seniors to wear for Halloween tomorrow, so that's pretty much anything that's fun or interesting is out. It's really remarkable. Nothing military or political. Nothing with liquids or food. Nothing that conotates violence or alcohol or drugs. Nothing that might be demeaning to any other person. Ad infinitum.

I get it. Of course we don't want to demean anyone and all that. But seriously, this just sucks all the fun right out of it, I think. Let's do it right or let's not do it at all.

2:03 pm. I'm so sleepy! I don't think I've been sleepy at work more than once or twice this year, but right now, I just want to close my eyes. And I have a few things to do after school, too, but I'll probably be awake by then. I can leave here in an hour. It's not soon enough.




watching L/O :: ENTRY #2131
READING: --- by ---

It Lives!

I'm taking it easy today, doctor's orders, but I'm at work. She told me to stay home, but I honestly don't feel sick enough to stay home, and I don't have that many sick days racked up to spare. It turns out that when you're taking an immune-suppressing med, as I am, and then you get a cold, you need to get antibiotics right away so it doesn't morph into something worse. Unfortunately, no one mentioned this to me, so it's been a week of having a cold, I thought, with a throat that got more and more sore every day until yesterday I went to the doctor. So there I am, or rather, here I am. She did tell me to stay home and rest, but I'd rather be at work and rest, as it were. Really, I don't feel that bad, and I'm drinking tea.

Ahhh, tea. The great inspection of the school was last week, and within 24 hours, all of us had our microwaves, coffeemakers, and whatnot back in place. This is working out great for me. On the first day of the week, I brought in enough for lunch for the whole week (yogurts, cheese, ice tea) and put it in the fridge, and at lunchtime now I can heat up a single-serving of soup of something, of which I also brought a week's worth. So I didn't have to carry anything at all to school with me today, I love that.

Nothing new in my life except an excess of illness and a scarcity of money, what else is new. My frame of mind is good, though, and for some reason, I Have more energy than I've had in five years. I wonder what's up with that. And this was even before I started the newer meds that I'm on.

What I'm doing here is not nothing, actually, it's just not strenuous. I had no classes scheduled to teach today, although the library is booked all day for classes who've already had instruction and are continuing their work, so I'm here for random help with that. I have a big project that involves shifting books from shelf to shelf to balance space, but I'm leaving that for another day. I did completely re-do my shelf-top book displays, though, since that was only standing and walking around for me, and it was fun.

Later.

I'm home. Still don't feel too terrible, although I'm debating when to take more Advil. I'm not supposed to take it at all, but it really, really helps, and last night was most uncomfortable until I took it. I'll see if I can hold out an hour or so, so it'll last until I fall asleep. But my ears are starting to hurt again.

I was supposed to be at physical therapy now, my last appointment, but they called and canceled, for a change. I never got to go last week, either, but I'm doing the stretches at home, and I think they help. These people have the oddest scheduling practices I've ever seen, which I wont' go into, but I ended up with about half as many sessions as I was supposed to.

I am so tired of talking about my health, thinking about my health. The only thing I can say, and I've said it to a few people, is this: I do not intend to let this become my life. I don't want it to stop me. (I mean, of course, it will stop me from doing some things. That Mt. Everest climb is off now, for good.) Here are my goals: when I want to (and can afford it) I will go to Disney World. Nothing is going to keep my from doing that. And I want to be a grandma, and I plan to be a good one. Nothing will keep me from lifting and carrying babies, when the time comes. I expect to be a hands-on grandma, and my kids want me to be that, too, so nothing is going to get in the way of that. (I promise not to cough all over the babies, though. I won't be hands on when I have plague, like I do now.)

Okay, enough of that shit. I have to talk and think about other things. I have to write more, and about other things, so this doesn't consume me. (I'll give you occasional updates, though, because, y'know, every new episode with me does have some amusement value, at least so far. That nasty rash is a little better, btw, in case you were wondering.)

Okay, so, post.





watching SUPERNANNY :: ENTRY #2130
READING: --- by ---

Don't Mind Me

I'll just sit over here at my desk and moan softly. It's 2:45, and I forgot to get to the ladies' room before the bell rang, which is to say, when there was someone else here. Now, I've got about two dozen kids in the library, and I can't go anywhere until it's time to go home, so that's in about twenty minutes.

Oh, and I have just a bit of plague.

I don't think it's even the flu, just the first stages of a cold. I've had a dry cough all day (I know, flu), and a stuffy nose, and now some scratchy throat. I don't have a fever, I think, but I've been on the tylenol every-four-hour routine anyway, so there isn't going to be a fever. And I'm always achy and I always have chills. But I think it's just a cold. Anyway, I need to be in school tomorrow because I -- let's face it -- bullied some people into coming to a training session after school, so I need to be here. Friday, however, I won't come in unless I feel better. I could use a day of drinking tea and watching old movies whilst buried under my cozy down-like throw.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but you know, teenage type kids are notorious for not listening to what you tell them and ignoring all sound advice, but I swear, every damn one of them coughs or sneezes into the elbow, as opposed to in the air or in their hands. I don't know how this message was universally sent and received, maybe it went out over all iPods and cell phones, but I'm actually astounded at how many of them -- all of them -- are doing this right. I mean, it's not as if they all walk on the right side of the corridor or the stairs, it's not as if they listen to any other rule that's been laid down, or even suggested. And this age group is also well-known for their "it won't happen to me" philosophy, but I guess they're actively trying to avoid the flu. Interesting.

Ten minutes. Tick, tick, tick ... I shall finish from home.

Home. I canceled PT myself today; the therapist doesn't need me coughing in his face. I could hear the receptionist on the edge of telling me that she was going to charge me for canceling so late, but since she canceled yesterday and the day before on about ten minutes notice, she didn't have the chutzpah. Which is good, because I would have blown a fuse.

So I have a bit of a tummy ache and not much appetite. I'm noshing on crackers, though, because I don't want to take any meds on an empty stomach.

I'm going to go pack my lunch for tomorrow *sigh* and take out clothes.



watching GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2129
READING: --- by ---

Surreality

The last few days have been interesting, in a way, not necessarily a good way, but, as my title says, here and there surreal.

To begin with, I had an ordinary check-up after school on Friday. This is my least favorite of all my doctors, and she should be my most favorite: the one who ties it all together, the one who has my back in a sea of specialists. She's not. She addresses the questions I ask her and treats what I present her with. She manages my basic medications. She's okay, but she's not a world-beater. In the past, when I've asked her about something -- for example, the tender spots on my head -- she always gives me a definitive answer, in that case, something about pinched nerves. She's very sure of herself. Of course, to the rheumatologist, this was a definitive marker of fibromyalgia. Whatever.

So, two things. I have a rash ... well ... let's just say sub-bosom. You big girls out there know what I mean. It's ... icky. Anyway, I had mentioned it to the rh'ologist on Monday, just in case it was a side effect of the med -- it's not -- and he asked if I wanted a prescription for it. Nah, I said, I'm seeing the other doctor on Friday, she can give me something. Here's what she said "It looks better, so keep using the cornstarch." Better than what, lady, you never saw this before. "Keep using" the cornstarch? Was I using cornstarch?

Anyway, I also mentioned to her that the rh'ologist said he would give me pain med if I wanted it, and I had decided to stop being a martyr, so she gave me what he was going to give me, which was fine. I took it Friday night before I went to sleep.

Cue the psychedelic lights and twirly things and the in and out zoom. I slept a little oddly, and woke up with not much pain in my arms and legs and back, but possible THE WORST headache I have ever had. Even so, I was in an oddly upbeat mood, and didn't let it bother me. I even drove, which may not have been wise, but no harm, no foul. I felt very much pebbled, as we used to say back in the seventies. (A little stoned.)

I lay down for a nap in the afternoon with the TV on, to "How It's Made" on Discovery Science, or something. It's little factory tours that show how a highlighter is made, and other things; I love that stuff. Anyway, I drifted into about three hours of short hops between this dimension and any number of others. I would fall asleep for 30 seconds and wake up, in the meantime, hallucinating the connection between the last thing I saw and what was on now. Did you know, for example, that sailboards (which are like surfboards, but with sails) are made in a secret facility in Nazi Germany, and that the entire process is overseen by my second-grade crush, Billy Glendenning? I never knew that before either. I couldn't get out of it; I couldn't wake up and I couldn't fall asleep. But it was entertaining.

Around dinner time, I decided to screw the whole thing and I took an Advil. Four hours later, I took two. Finally, no headache, but I still didn't sleep that well. Sunday was a similar day, but I couldn't nap at all, and was up and down all night last night, hot and cold, wide awake and drowsy, TV on, TV off. I had taken a half of the pain pill yesterday morning, but nothing last night or today. I'll wait a couple of days and then try a half again and see what it does.

I never even got dressed yesterday, never even put on a bra, which means I was absolutely not leaving the house nor was I accepting visitors. I was lucky I got my eyes to focus at all. I didn't read, didn't do much else. But I wasn't unhappy, either. K kept saying she was bored all day, but I was too lalalalala to be be bored.

We're having an emergency drill at school tomorrow, which involves evacuating the building and going someplace where we can account for all the kids. Talk about a bore. I've already arranged to hitch a ride back to the building with the nurse if the walk out there is too much for me. (I'll be bringing my cane on the adventure.)

A little later ...

Hmm. I went to physical therapy, which turned out to be an appointment they had kindly re-scheduled for tomorrow, a phone message I got as I was parking the car in their lot. In the meantime, I was noticing that when I sat in the car, the seatback against my back hurt. And then when I was walking around, my shirt moving over my back also hurt. At first I thought, Now that's odd, and then, with a giant duh, I realized that this must be a fibromyalgia thing. Even on the commercials for the fibro drugs, it says that it hurts to be touched, but I had only experienced that before on the specific tender spots. Looks like fun years ahead for me, boys and girls.

We did do a little food shopping, since the PT was canceled, so I have lunch for the week. Which is already packed for tomorrow. Now I have to pick out clothes for spending most of the afternoon outside tomorrow, but it's supposed to be in the sixties, I think, so I really have no idea.

BTW, I'm not really reading either of the books I have listed down there. Maybe someday, but I'm not reading at all lately, too foggy at night to read.





watching FAMILY GUY :: ENTRY #2128
READING: Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan
READING: Reading Lolita in Teheran by Azar Nafisi

Grownup Meme

Courtesy of the Empress.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Every damn one of them.
2. Do you miss being a child?
Yes and no. I'm not thinking about it full-time, but yes, I have fond memories of childhood. Not so much adolescence. I wouldn't do that again for a million bucks.
3. Chore you hate the most?
Paying bills, I think. (See #1)
4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Likewise, not in this century. So long ago that I don't remember.
5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
These days, I'm thinking it's that I would have been less short-tempered and snide to my mother.
6. Name of your first grade teacher?
Miss Croghan, whom I recall as a very young and very uptight anti-Semite. I can name all my elementary school teachers, and probably 7 - 12 as well. She's the only elementary school teacher I don't have fond memories of.
7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I need to get my lunch together for tomorrow, and my clothes. What I want is to be blissfully asleep.
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
After I got over the cowgirl phase, courtesy of the Mickey Mouse Club western days, the only thing I ever wanted to be was a teacher.
9. How many colleges did you attend?
Three. First two years undergraduate at the University of Maryland. Last two years undergraduate and second master's degree at Montclair State College (then)/University (now.) First master's degree (in library science) at Rutgers University.
10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
I like the color (sage green) and it feels soft.
11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I rarely look at the prices. I need gas, so I get it, and I usually go to the station near my house where they've never lost my gas cap. (I've lost two of them at other stations.) In general, the prices are obscene.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
For the first alarm and the two following snoozes: NOOOOOOOOO!
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Hmm. Probably, I hope I feel asleep right now.
14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Let's see. I'm going to limit it to famous person currently living. Hmmm ... no, dead. Shakespeare.
15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I've been in accidents, and all but one of those was someone else hitting me. Relatively little damage; I've never totaled a car. Does that count?
16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
I'd like to, if I could. I used to think I would volunteer to read stories and entrtain children at the children's cancer center nearby. Now I'm thinking that I'd like to start by boxing and stocking items at the local food pantry.
17. Get up early or sleep in?
On school days, the first alarm goes off at 5:50 in the a.m. Otherwise, if I'm un-disturbed, I can sleep til a good 9:00 most days. It's delicious.
18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
It would certainly have to be Mickey Mouse. Quick Draw McGraw runs a close second.
19. Favorite thing to do at night with a guy/girl?
Like on a date? Wait, let me get in my time machine and go back and check.
20. When did you first start feeling old?
When I started to ache all over, and when my arms weren't long enough to hold a back as far as I needed it to be to read it.
21. Favorite lunch meat?
I like pastrami, but never have it for lunch. I like ham and sometimes bologna.
22. What do you get every time you go into WalMart?
I've only been in a Walmart once or twice in my life, and have no plans to go back.
23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No, not at all.
24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I like a lot of movies, and am not generally embarrassed about any of them. The other night I recorded Toby Tyler, or, Ten Weeks With the Circus, a Disney classic. (I had a tremendous crush on Kevin Corcoran.)
25. What's your favorite drink?
I love coffee. I'm also fond of root beer.
26. Who[m] from high school would you like to run in to?
Anybody? I don't think so.
27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
CBS-FM, the New York City oldies station, for the last 30 years or so.
28. “Sopranos” or “Desperate Housewives?”
Neither, although I watched the first three and last three episodes of The Sopranos. I've never seen a minute of Desperate Housewives.
29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
I can think of a few, but probably writing that "Dear John" letter to the Hubs when we were in college.
30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from/next to you at work?
No such person anymore. I wasn't so keen on the SCM, who retired in January. I will endlessly miss the Colleague, who used to be the library secretary.
31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No.
32. Last book you finished reading?
I don't even remember. Wait a minute ... it's been weeks, apparently. The Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell.
33. Do you have a teddy bear?
My old teddy bear, which my sister gave me for my 14th birthday, is around someplace. I do have some very old toys, but my babyhood stuffed animals are long gone. (I had a sock monkey named Jocko instead of an actual teddy bear, and a clown thing -- can't remember what those were called.)(A few minutes later: it was a Jingle Bell Jack that my mother made for me.)
34. One thing you couldn't live without?
At this point, probably medical attention.
35. Do you go to church?
Never, although it would be a synagogue for me, but not that either. I wasn't raised to.
36. How old are you?
56
37. Can you take apart a motor, put it back together, and have no extra parts?
Please. At one point, I could do all kinds of things with computers, but motors are not my friends.
38. Are you for or against the death penalty?
I'm going to go with against, although it does seem that there are some people who don't deserve to live after crimes they've committed. It just shouldn't be up to me, or anyone else, to make that judgement.
39. If there is a God and you could ask him/her one question what would it be?
I'm pretty sure there isn't. If I had that hypothetical opportunity, however, it would probably be "Why?"
40. Do you think it’s possible that there is life on other planets?
I'll use the empress's exact answer: Not only possible but probable.







watching FAMILY GUY :: ENTRY #2128
READING: Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan
READING: Reading Lolita in Teheran by Azar Nafisi