Catching Up

I haven't really written much since I've been back, mostly because I wasn't comfortable with some of the things going on here, but either they're better now or I am, so I can write a bit about it.

Disney World, as much as I love it, is a physically demanding adventure, and none of us who went along are spring chickens. We were all in pain to some degree the whole time. It did occur to us to get wheelchairs on the third day; we got two, and switched off from time to time. I don't think we could have made it otherwise. Next time I go, I will definitely get a scooter (a motorized wheelchair-like thingy), but that's for another time.

When we would get back to our rooms at night, we were beat. I would do what I had to do pretty quickly, which is my nature: put the dirty clothes in a laundry bag, take out clean clothes for the next day, get my shoulder-bag ready for the next day, and collapse. I had two great nights' sleep there, one awful, and two okay. But my sister would take hours to get herself together, both at night and in the morning, and slept badly every night, and that for only a few hours. She was in a lot of pain during the day, and medicated herself for it. She had migraines three days out of five, but kept on going.

When I talked to her Sunday evening, she had been sleeping off an on all day and didn't sound great. She was still in a lot of pain, an arthritis flare-up. On Monday, she told that this was all my fault, and that I should have taken better care of her while we were away. I cried off an on for the next few hours, and she hasn't spoken to me since, although I think we're on better terms after texting last night and during the day today. Obviously, this was not my fault, and she gave no indication while we were away that she needed more help than I gave her. I myself was limping and using a cane when I wasn't in the wheelchair or pushing her in it (I was still limping, but no cane when pushing the wheelchair, which was actually better than the cane.) None of us were in great shape. Even so, the particulars aren't important; I don't know where she got this crazy idea, and it really threw me off for a few days. Not that I thought for a minute that she was right, but it made me very sad, and also made me really question myself: if she thinks that I'm capable of that, of not taking care of her for some capricious reason, what else does that say? That I'm not the person I think I am? That she, of all people, can't read me the way I think others can, and if so, who am I?

So I've been dealing a lot with that issue, and even though I've decided that the issue is hers -- maybe her husband's, but I don't want to go there with her -- it's been hard. Here, it's my last week before school starts, I've had a lot to do, and this was hanging over me.

In the meantime, K still has no job. A good possibility was supposed to call her back today either way, but of course, they didn't. So she's still left hanging. But that district doesn't start until after Labor Day, so she should still hear from them either way early next week. It would be a wonderful job in many ways. Still keeping everything crossed.

My knee was much worse, so I went to the orthopedist yesterday and got a better brace for it. He also gave me an anti-inflammatory creme for my elbows and various aches; so far, it's done nothing, but he wanted me to try it before I go back for the cortisone shots in my elbows. He also gave me some exercises for the plantar fasciitis, which is much worse after all that walking last week. I can pretyy much only wear Crocs now, which is okay, I guess.

Believe it or not, I'm also partially packed for the next trip, back to Florida, on September 11. That's only a two night trip, and not much walking. I'm hoping that R will be willing to do the driving, at least at night. I'm so glad she's going with me. On this one, we're both taking small suitcases and not checking them through, so everything is nice and compact, the way I like it. I've already got my dressies packed to wear to the Bar Mitzvah, and even my underwear and socks. All that's left is two days of day clothes, make-up, and meds.

Speaking of dressies, we have another damn party to go to this Sunday night, for the Hubs' aunt's 75th birthday. This family just loves to have big parties at their country club; every party is there, and so, is identical to the last one. And 5:30 on a Sunday night? How do they think of these things? So we have to drive to the ILs first and pick up the MIL; the FIL is not attending, and then drive back there later to take her home. It adds time, but I have no problem with that. I also told her that I will happily either attend the party or stay with the FIL, if she wants me to; either choice is fine with me, she just needs to tell me how to dress ahead of time. R and the GF, who live closer to the ILs, are also going to offer to stay with the FIL, so I may have to after all, but I have no idea what I'm wearing, of course, since my dressies are, as I said, packed. On the other hand, how much do I care? I'll find something.

Speaking of people who don't return calls -- I was somewhere, yes? -- once again, my principal had totally blown me off. When he didn't see me on Tuesday, I emailed him with all my free time this week, and I got no reply. So let's see. School starts Tuesday, Wednesday for the kids. It appears that there will be two new members of my staff, but I don't know what their jobs are and they haven't been hired yet. It will be my job to determine what their jobs are, and train them. Clerks or aides or something, but I don't know, and I don't know what their hours will be. As it stands, I have no assigned lunch period, other than the one mandated by my contract, which means I have to have one, but as far as I know, no one is assigned to cover the library during either lunch period. I may have to close the doors when I go. I guess. I have no idea what to do, or if he will tell me what to do before Wednesday. Although I'm sure that if I lock the doors during a lunch period, it'll get back to him. I guess I'll have to find a union person on Tuesday to tell me what to do. *sigh* As I recall, this was supposed to be the year I was excited about starting over and doing everything new. Well, this is new. I just so hate to be unprepared.

I've been reading an interesting scifi YA series by Scott Westerfield called Uglies, which is also the name of the first book. It's not what I expected, but I like it a lot. I'm on the third book of the trilogy, but then he wrote a fourth as a follow-up, I guess because it was popular, so I have that next.

Well, there you go, the entire contents of my brain spilled out on the screen. Hoping to see R tomorrow, or possibly Sunday. It's a rainy day and rainy weekend ahead, actually colder outside than in, today. Looks like some frozen White Castle cheeseburgers for dinner for me.



watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2110
READING: Specials by Scott Westerfeld

Wait .. It's Friday, Right?

Not? Ugh. It feels like a Friday to me because it's the last full day of the school year. We start finals tomorrow, so that's half days for the kids through Monday, and then Tuesday and Wednesday are half days for the kids with shortened class periods, and Wednesday is also a half day for staff because we have to come back at night for graduation. So that's clear, right?

I had a nice talk with the principal this morning, who actually came here to the library to talk to me. I can count on the fingers of one hand the times a principal has come to the library to talk to me. Anyway, we worked some things out for next year, some very good, some ... well, you know. Ya gotta take da good wid' da bad.

I have just cleared the decks, so to speak, for the onslaught of the debtors, which begins tomorrow. I moved stuff off my desk to make more room for everything, something I do every year when this begins. But each year is different. I could be swamped tomorrow and in a mental institution by three, or I could be sitting here in the library with my thumb in my mouth. It's a matter of how many teachers understand my directions each year. Seriously.

So, after school today, back to the urologist, what fun. I think I'm going to tell him I've decided to live with my problem for the rest of my natural life. It's not as if I don't already have annoying conditions that I have no choice but to live with for the rest of my natural life. What's one more?

My knee is sore today, in the back, what my kids used to call the "knee-pit." That's where the bone is damaged, so I guess it makes sense that it should hurt there. No idea why, but I'm not really babying it anymore, no cane, no knee support. (I guess that's why it hurts, duh.) Anyway, one more thing to learn to live with.

Do I sound bummed out? I'm not, not at all. It's like when this stuff happens, I think "Oh, well, now there's that," but very, very little actually upsets me. (Still not thrilled about the whole hearing aids thing though, which is not yet resolved.) It's amazing, and I owe it all to the little pills, which I resisted for beaucoup de years because how could I get it until I got it? What the little pills do is they let me be me, without the angst that made me not me. They don't make me artificially happy. They allow me to deal with what comes up without each little thing becoming a huge emotional issue. I'm just me. I rather like just me; I certainly prefer being just me to being that other icky, freaked out spaz.

.
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Still in school. MORON ALERT! What did I say about the process only going as well as the teachers understanding the directions?

Normally, the library stays open after school. The substitute who's been with me is here until 3:05 and then a teacher comes in and stays until 5:00. But she's gone on an interview this afternoon, and normally I would stay the half-hour, but today I have the doctor's appointment at 3:00. So I put a sign on the door that says the library is closing at 2:35, but will re-open at 3:05 when Mr. K --- arrives and will remain open until 5:00. Is that hard?

A teacher just wandered in, looked briefly at the sign, and asked "Oh, the library is closing?"

I said, "Well, at 2:35."

She looked thoughtful, and asked "Forever?"

Yes, idiot, forever. There will never again be a library at Bizarro Town High School, ever, ever, ever, ever.

She couldn't just read the damn sign?

Perhaps I have not become as even-tempered as I have been led to believe, eh?




watching FRIENDS :: ENTRY #2067
READING: ----- by -----

It's Shorts Season

Oy.

But first, the latest in medical news.

I have something called avascular necrosis, which seems to be fairly common. It's one of those things that once you've got it, you've got it. The only "cure", if you want to call it that, is a knee replacement, which, based on my current levels of pain, is many, many years in the future, if then. For now, wear a brace and use the cane when I need it. Don't do exercises that bend the knee excessively. A very nice doctor; I liked him very much.

It wasn't even particularly hot today, but it was the first of June. Even so, not the first day for girls wearing shorts to school; they've been doing that for weeks now. It's not uncommon to see a girl in shorts that we used to call hot pants, worn with either a few layers of tank tops or a sweater, and especially Uggs, those heavy looking, shearling and suede boots. Either that or flipflops so flimsy they don't even qualify as shoes.

I have become the old fogey, or, as Pogo put it so well, "We have met the enemy and he is us." At this point, I'd be just as happy if all the kids wore uniforms to school, or at least some semblance thereof, and you can be sure that if anyone had tried to institute such a thing when I was in high school, I would have been at front lines of the protest. But speaking as the old fogey in residence, I am just tired of telling boys to pull their pants up (to cover their boxers and/or behinds), and the girls ... I don't even know what I would say to the girls. Last week (I may have mentioned, I don't remember), a girl came into the library wearing tiny red hot pants/shorts, leaving little to the imagination, a sleeveless top, skin tight, most of it lace, and over the knee black leather boots with spiked heels. I kid you not. It was like she was dressing as a hooker for Halloween, but hey, not Halloween. I don't see hookers everywhere in school so much as I just see inappropriate clothing. I always wonder: what do they wear to church (if they go)? Why is necessary to show so much of their flesh all the time?

In hearing aid news, this loaner is not fun. I get very little amplification and lots of feedback, and it's so small, I'm afraid I'm going to lose it all the time. I'm told that the manufacturer is shipping mine out tomorrow, so I should have them Wednesday or Thursday. Fingers crossed.

I have the go-ahead to go back to exercising now, as long as I don't bend my knee too far. I want to get back to the Wii Fit; I haven't done it in months. Tomorrow, perhaps. We shall see.



watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2057
READING: American Lion: Andrew Jackson by Jon Meacham