HEY!

I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!

You might say that it has just sunk in. I finally picked up all the paperwork from the travel agent, who didn't have it until last night, and then I came home and packed. Yessiree bob, I packed for a trip that I'm leaving on in ... let me check ... 18 days. (I have a countdown on the phone.) And my carryon in packed too, more or less. I have a short list of what's left to be packed, and then they just have to point me in the right direction.

I have not been as excited about this trip, I think, because, let's face it, I have no money. The trip is already paid for, but I could certainly have used that money for other things (not to mention the other trip to Florida I have to take in September, which is also paid for, and which money I could really have used for other things.) But I'm not letting anything get in the way of just going and having a good time. I'm not going to be bothered if I don't go on some rides that I want to go on, because, as I said last time, I'll certainly be going again. (And here I am.) I am bringing two, count'em two, bathing suits, not that I want to be seen in either one, but I'm okay with that, too.

Remember the tote bags I was going to make for the four of us as mementos of the trip? I wasn't sure how I liked that picture for a tote bag,


but I did realize a couple of hours ago with a resounding DUH that I didn't have to get the bags made at the mall kiosk (which is where I got the idea), all I have to do is get cheap bags at the craft store and print the transfers and do it myself! And when I checked in my desk cabinet for the transfer paper, I found ...

desk-jet printable Shrinky Dink material!

When did I get this? Anyway, I tried the picture and made a sample, and it looks FANTASTIC! I made a few adjustments and then I ran out of black ink, so I'll get ink tomorrow and then make the four shrinky dink keytags or whatever anyone wants to use them for, and all I need to get at the craft store is a can of Krylon to seal them with and something for keychains (although I actually have something at the library I can use that we don't use for anything anymore.)

In other news, I got my hearing aids adjusted -- again -- and they seem to be slightly better. I have not heard from the ob/gyn, which is disappointing, even though I know it's not serious; I should have had a call by now.

No news yet either on the possible excellent job possibility for K, but then this morning, yet another possible excellent job came up, and she sent in her application immediately. She says she has 100 cover letters on her computer, so she applied for at least 100 jobs. (Some of them she applied to directly online, no cover letter needed.) Can you believe it? But either of these would be just incredible, both very good districts with fairly big schools, and good Social Studies departments.

I'm finally reading that book I was trying to get my hands on for weeks, and it's a challenge, although an amusing one.




watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2093
READING: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

It's a Quarter to .... One

No, not a quarter to three, no singing me from me. It's a quarter to one, which means school ended for the kids twenty minutes ago (although I hear voices down the hall), and it's the teacher lunch hour. But I'm in the library, just in case any of the little dears have books to bring back to me, which means I can leave for home at 1:35.

A word about the teachers and their inability to do relatively simple administrative tasks. One, it's actually worse today. Two, in most cases, I don't think it relates either to their intelligence or to their teaching ability. There are plenty of people who are not good with paperwork, and if they're lucky, they have a spouse who does it all for them at home. As far as teachers go, there is a lot of paperwork, and everybody gets it done somehow, sooner or later, but being knowledgeable about your subject and being able to teach it are not connected to that kind of chore. In fact, for many people, there's a real disconnect. Some of the ones who are always late with their attendance and grades are the people who are so intellectually gifted, and so passionate about what they know and teaching it, that they light up the kids in their classes, but they can't always make it down the stairs from their ivory towers to do all that other stuff on time. They sometimes have trouble following relatively simple directions, but ask them to explain a chemical process, or something in The Great Gatsby, and their eyes light up; they practically glow, and every kid in the class can see what they see and feel the passion they feel. It's just real annoying for me to be on the receiving end, waiting for the paperwork. But I don't hold it against them (not most of them, anyway); it's just a pain while it's going on.

It is raining yet again. I expect to leave here in 45 minutes and find my entire car mildewed. Everything in the house smells, and it's just from the dampness in the air. It's disgusting, and seriously, cannot be good for the health, for anyone's health.

I forgot to bring something to eat or drink with me today, which is unfortunate; I can't even take my pills. I did have coffee earlier, but it was too early then. I'm gonna be really hungry when I get home. And I'm going out for dinner tonight with people, so I won't get real food until at least 7:30, so I guess I'm going to have to feed myself something when I get home.

Oh, NEWS ALERT NEWS ALERT! I got my hearing aids back ... and they work! Well, they have worked for about six hours now, anyway. Everything seems okay, but I've been in the library all day, which has its own atypical sound situation, so I won't know for sure until I leave, and hear what it sounds like in the car, on the TV, at the dinner tonight. But I'm hopeful. I did, however, look up the name and email address of the CEO of the company that makes my hearing aids, because I may want to drop him a line. I just don't want anything to reflect on my audiologist, who is THE BEST. I'll talk to him about it before I send anything.

I'm going to walk around the library a little bit now. More later.




watching L&O :: ENTRY #2069
READING: ----- by -----

Nice Day

In fact, I had no real nickname when I was a child, and no middle name ever, so my name, which I don't like, is pretty much all I've ever had. Oh, my sister called me Bushy -- really -- when I was a baby, because she said my hair all stood up on my head, like a bush. Or something. My father often called me "Sannie-Pie" (the s is pronounced like a z) as a take-off on Sweetie Pie, and for a period of years my sister actually did routinely call me E-Pie. (I did the same sweetie pie thing with my kids' names, too.) If there was a name I detested, it was Rosie, and anyone calling me that would be the immediate target of a very nasty tantrum. Which is all to say that I was doing something nice for myself today, and the thought went through my head that I was "doing something nice for Little Sanne." You remember, the kid in the picture the other day.

So now it's turning into a real thing, which is also okay, because with any luck, I can somehow turn it over into a kind of meditation, which can only be good for me. After I had that thought, I ran through all those "lovelier thoughts, Michael" memories, you know, the things I would have to think of in order to fly after Peter Pan sprinkled the fairy dust on me. (Or alternatively, the things that would help me conjure a Patronus. Pick your children's mythology.) All this was while I was getting a therapeutic massage on my neck and shoulders. So, all good. And this was after a quick shopping trip with my sister.

And my knee is much better, even without the cane. Of course, my hearing aids are winging their way to Pittsburgh, or wherever it is they get fixed -- I don't know why I think it's Pittsburgh, but I do -- and I have the substandard loaner, but again, whatever.

If only I didn't have to get up in the morning. Twelve more days.



watching FAMILY GUY :: ENTRY #2062
READING: American Lion: Andrew Jackson by Jon Meacham

Kids Say the Darndest Things

The saga continues.

About two weeks ago, I sent out special notices to all the kids who owed stuff: library books, sports uniforms, money to the cafeteria. They were distinctively printed on "goldenrod" paper, goldenrod being one of those words that is never, ever used outside of a school setting. (The notices were orange.)

I just had a girl come up to me, waving her notice, saying "I returned this!" I looked at it and checked things out; yes, indeed, she returned a library book last week. She got the notice two weeks ago. Did she think that somehow the notice would evaporate once the book was returned? Or that because she still had the notice, the return of the book would not register? Sheesh.

It was a weekend with mixed results, if I can call them that. Sunday morning started off with a cranky K, because I was in the shower when she woke up. How did I know when she was going to wake up? She said she always wakes up around the same time on weekends. Really? That's news to me, you know why? Because I don't care! Why would I need to notice what time everyone else wakes up?

We were having lunch yesterday with the Sibs and Wonderful Niece, but of course, everybody's various ailments got in the way, and finally we decided to pick up R, eat in our area, and then bring her home. The Sibs was opposed to that (as if she was even involved in that part of the process) because she said it was too much driving for us. Anyway, we did it; K picked her up and I brought her home, and we each got to spend some delightful time with her, so I was happy about that. The lunch itself was not stressful, and we were all settled by then, but my stomach was starting to go Crohnish, as it is today. I'm guessing that I've been eating some things I shouldn't. I'm not in major pain or anything, but some pain, and a lot of rushing around, if you get my drift.

Hold on. There's a crowd of kids standing around another kid seated at a computer. I must investigate.

.
.
.

According to my sneaky spy software, they're working on a group project. Imagine that. Crowds generally = illegal game playing.

Okay, so I had a most enjoyable ride with R,taking her home, talking about her sweetie and his family and various other items. Her knee is very, very painful (she slipped on a wet sidewalk grate last week, had it x-rayed Friday night, no breaks), so I hope her day at work is going well.

As for me, I'm sitting at my desk, Crohnish, wanting nothing more than to go to lunch and wondering if I will feel too nauseous to eat. I'm waiting for a call back from the audiologist's office. You know, I love them there, but I'll bet they're going to start running out of patience with me. I'm guessing that because I'm starting to run out of patience with them. (Thee manufacturer, btw, did indeed put new workings inside my hearing aid shells -- but they don't work -- and extended my warranty for repairs for another year.)

We never did get to go food shopping over the weekend, so we'll have to go tonight. All I can say is that kid better not be cranky. She didn't get called to sub today, so she's home, either churning out more resumes to send, or playing Guitar Hero all day.

Can't get my hands warm today. I hate that. In the old days, I'd just turn on the hot water and hold my hands there for a few minutes, but our brandy new library is the only library in America without a sink in it, 65 year old books notwithstanding. Ick. Anyway, we do have hand gel EVERYWHERE for flu prevention, but I've had some on my desk every since we moved here. So I can get clean, but it doesn't help me get warm.

Five minutes to lunch. 4:59. 4:58. 4:57 ....




watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2060
READING: American Lion: Andrew Jackson by Jon Meacham

It's Shorts Season

Oy.

But first, the latest in medical news.

I have something called avascular necrosis, which seems to be fairly common. It's one of those things that once you've got it, you've got it. The only "cure", if you want to call it that, is a knee replacement, which, based on my current levels of pain, is many, many years in the future, if then. For now, wear a brace and use the cane when I need it. Don't do exercises that bend the knee excessively. A very nice doctor; I liked him very much.

It wasn't even particularly hot today, but it was the first of June. Even so, not the first day for girls wearing shorts to school; they've been doing that for weeks now. It's not uncommon to see a girl in shorts that we used to call hot pants, worn with either a few layers of tank tops or a sweater, and especially Uggs, those heavy looking, shearling and suede boots. Either that or flipflops so flimsy they don't even qualify as shoes.

I have become the old fogey, or, as Pogo put it so well, "We have met the enemy and he is us." At this point, I'd be just as happy if all the kids wore uniforms to school, or at least some semblance thereof, and you can be sure that if anyone had tried to institute such a thing when I was in high school, I would have been at front lines of the protest. But speaking as the old fogey in residence, I am just tired of telling boys to pull their pants up (to cover their boxers and/or behinds), and the girls ... I don't even know what I would say to the girls. Last week (I may have mentioned, I don't remember), a girl came into the library wearing tiny red hot pants/shorts, leaving little to the imagination, a sleeveless top, skin tight, most of it lace, and over the knee black leather boots with spiked heels. I kid you not. It was like she was dressing as a hooker for Halloween, but hey, not Halloween. I don't see hookers everywhere in school so much as I just see inappropriate clothing. I always wonder: what do they wear to church (if they go)? Why is necessary to show so much of their flesh all the time?

In hearing aid news, this loaner is not fun. I get very little amplification and lots of feedback, and it's so small, I'm afraid I'm going to lose it all the time. I'm told that the manufacturer is shipping mine out tomorrow, so I should have them Wednesday or Thursday. Fingers crossed.

I have the go-ahead to go back to exercising now, as long as I don't bend my knee too far. I want to get back to the Wii Fit; I haven't done it in months. Tomorrow, perhaps. We shall see.



watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2057
READING: American Lion: Andrew Jackson by Jon Meacham

A Step in the Right Direction

I don't have my hearing aids back yet, but I went to the audiologist's before and picked up a loaner, so that should help. And the manufacturer who's repairing my own set can't find anything at all wrong with them, and so as a last resort, they're going to pull all the guts out of the casing and put in new guts, in essence, making me a brand new set of hearing aids. No complaints here. I should have them some time next week.

I also made an appointment with the inner-ear specialist about the tinnitus, which has recently gotten worse. That's next Wednesday. And the knee doctor on Monday. Really, just typical life for me at Chez Chai.

And that's it. My head is still a little heavy, whether from the tinnitus or from what causes the tinnitus, or the leftover congestion, or I don't know what. I feel basically okay, but if I were a brain surgeon, I think I'd sit out for the next day or so.



watching FRIENDS :: ENTRY #2054
READING: American Lion: Andrew Jackson by Jon Meacham

I Forgot My Snappy Title!

I am definitely having short term memory issues. I can tell you about a nightmare I had when I was three, but what I was thinking about two minutes ago? No clue. The worst part is that I can't remember how long this has been going on, so I don't know if it might be a side effect of some med I'm taking, or not. Maybe that's why I'm having so much trouble writing lately: I have great ideas all day long, I just don't remember them five minutes after I have them.

R texted me about an hour ago to say that they were going out for dinner and she would probably call later. This caused me to have one of those misty moments, thinking "She is such a good kid!" And then I had the bizarre follow up thought: I have great kids! Wanna know why?

Hah! No one knows why! It's a trick question. As every actual parent knows, raising kids is totally a crapshoot! (And of course, I do like my kids and love them and all, but they're not out of the ordinary in any way, it was just an odd emotional moment, like crying at a Kodak commercial. Remember those?) R just calls me because, hey, it's one of the things she does, like she was a good sleeper when she was a baby. She was a horrid eater, by which I mean she ate all kinds of stuff, but she ate spaghetti without implements. Also soup.

The other one (who has a third first interview somewhere next week) has gone to a concert tonight with a friend. His sister was supposed to go with him, but he called K on Wednesday and asked if she wanted to go instead since his sister had just called to tell him that her water broke. (He became a proud uncle some hours later.) They have gone to see, essentially, Spinal Tap, whose members are on tour sans costumes. The amazing thing is that they went to this concert in Connecticut, probably a good three hours or more from here. I'm betting that new momma is damn disappointed that she missed this; if she planned to go so far in her ninth month, she must have really really wanted to see them. But happy with the baby, of course; I'm just wondering what would prompt a woman to plan a three hour trip to see Spinal Tap in her ninth month. Y'know?

My voice is still husky, but I'm feeling much better, both the cough and the knee. I'm going to try to wean myself off the can over the long weekend, and see how that goes, since I have no desire to become one with the cane forever. I did some reading today about what a deep bone bruise is, mostly because several people, when I told them why I was using the cane, winced and said "Oooooh" with great sympathy, leading me to believe that this isn't just doctor-speak for "it's nothing." Especially because I only got that reaction from athletes and coaches, so I figure they know something. What I found out is that the only thing that heals a deep bone bruise is time. Swell. But it doesn't hurt anymore, so I'll see what the weekend leads to. I can always pick it up again when I go back to school on Tuesday.

Still no hearing aids. I'm starting to think the manufacturer should pay me for wearing them instead of the other way around.




watching TWO AND A HALF MEN :: ENTRY #2051
READING: American Lion: Andrew Jackson by Jon Meacham

Excuuuuuse Me

I really thought I had posted on Saturday, and was surprised just now to see that I didn't. The memory is going, going.

As is the hearing, since I had to take my hearing aids in for repair. A little piece chipped off the left one, and since that was going in, and my warranty expires next month, I asked them to take apart the right one and get rid of the battery that got stuck in there some months back and that rattles around a little when I bend my head down. They'll also let me know about extending the warranty, because anything that costs that much ought to last more than two years, and I know they'll die the day after the warranty expires, and new hearing aids aren't in my budget at the moment.

So my world is a little quieter for the next week or so. Too bad there's a retirees' dinner on Thursday; I guess I'll just listen to whomever is sitting next to me.

We had some nasty cold rain yesterday, but today is surprisingly pleasant. (It was supposed to rain all week.) You just don't want to leave the house in that kind of weather.

The Sibs is coming home from California late tonight, yay! We should be able to go book the Disney trip Friday afternoon, or Saturday. The dates are all worked out, since it turns out that the Sibs' commitment and the Cousin's are both at the same time, so that leaves a a good week to work with. Even so, I won't believe it until I see it. I won't even start to pack until I know that we're really going, and that's taking will power.

I did remember to jot down three smiley things today, which follow, along with a picture. That little signature area down there is getting to be longer than my actual entries.



Seeing Mary and Sue (two teachers), who are buddies, greet each other in the morning, which made me think of E and the Chum, and I smiled, remembering, instead of being bummed because my besties aren't here anymore.
I came into the library from the hallway and saw the line-up of kid-friendly books on top of the first bookstack.

Leaning over to put something away at the side of my desk, my face came right up close to the picture of my parents I have framed there.

watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2031
READING: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

The News in Brief

Do I ever not have medical news?

My blood pressure is fine, my heart rate is higher than it was before but still pretty good, I do have a sinus infection, I am depressed. The doctor said that she and Resnick had discussed months ago that depression was likely to follow my Crohn's diagnosis -- and they didn't even know me that well then -- and so she was ready to prescribe happy pills whenever I asked. She gave me Lexapro, a low dose, which she says is the anti-depressant least likely to interact with all the other crap I'm taking. So that's good. And I got antibiotics, too.

And went to physical therapy this afternoon for my arm/shoulder, which hurt a lot, but I think was okay. I'm going back Friday morning for more torture.

As we speak -- so to speak -- R is in the dreaded Atlanta Airport yet again, but the news is so far so good this time. AirTran actually booked her on a flight that got into Atlanta at 4:06 and a connecting flight to Newark that was supposed to leave at 4:36, and from a different terminal. Clearly, that was never going to happen, but the second flight was delayed, so she's getting in around 9:00, according to the current plan. Right now it's thundering and raining out there, so I'd be unhappier if I knew she was in the air and getting close. The storms should be over by 9:00, at which time someone from this house will be meeting her at the airport. This time looks like maybe the Hubs and I, which doesn't thrill me because the last time we had to pick up a kid at the airport he threw one of his hissy fits in the car, driving down the Turnpike, and I sat frozen in terror the rest of the way. Like a thunderstorm, these things pass over him quickly, but the effects last longer with me. My preference is that no one else should fly anywhere for a really long time. (Unless I'm going to see the mouse; that's always exempt.)

My hearing aids went into the shop this afternoon, too, so I have a certain measure of peace and quiet, but, you know, I can't hear stuff. An interesting trade-off.

WATCHING FRIENDS :: ENTRY #1801
SUMMER BOOK #3: The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

It's Frightful

The weather, I mean. Outside. It's frightful. Actually, it's kind of apocalyptic; everything is blowing around and shaking and the rain is hitting the house hard, and I really do wish that K didn't have class tonight, y'know?

Anyway. Yesterday at the SIL's was really very pleasant. Nephew who rarely speaks became quite talkative, an unusual treat for us. He was showing me his resume and the packet he just sent out to 40 (!) companies to find a job, telling us about his work, and so on. A very nice day.

This morning was terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad etc. etc., but I got over it. Yes, it was the Martian again, but once I decided not to care (and my headache went away) I was much better. I also saw the dentist this afternoon for the toothache that suddenly developed Saturday night, but no action on that yet. He thinks it's an injury and should be better in a couple of days, and if not, I have to call him to get a new filling or whatever. I am never having root canal again (so I claim today, but it may become the best option), so we shall see.

Six more mornings to get up, but I have all kinds of stuff packed into my afternoons. Tomorrow we have to get an estimate to fix K's car, and then I have physical therapy for my shoulder -- no, I moved that to Wednesday -- and Resnick on Thursday because I'm pretty sure this is a flare, and therapy on Friday, by which time I will really, really need some.

Oh, crackle. (Not snap.) Doncha just hate it when the lightning makes your hearing aids crackle? Oh wait ...

WATCHING FRIENDS :: ENTRY #1782

You Don't Know What You've Got Til It's Gone

I must have touched my hand to my right ear dozens of times today, not checking to see if the aid is lost, but to enjoy it being there. Moving on.

I really did get most of my tidying up done today. All I really have left is a shopping bag full of old PC stuff to get rid of, and I'll take that out to the trash Monday morning. But I know somewhere I still have my DOS 6.0 floppies because I wrote on them NEVER THROW THESE OUT!! and so I never will. They weren't in the bag, anyway.

That leaves tomorrow to finish getting ready to get my taxes done, finally. I always think that I should just get one of those tax programs and do it myself, but who am I kidding? Filling out that financial aid form online when my kids were in college stressed me out beyond a reasonable point, and I'm so glad I'm done with all that; why would I want to do the same kind of thing but worse? I am not a numbers person. Even my brother-in-law, who is a numbers person and also a CPA (but has never worked as an accountant) goes to someone to get his taxes done. You can know numbers, but not all the tax laws, I figure.

The Hubs and I went out to dinner tonight, since it was just the two of us. In the last week either his coughing has gotten better or he's gotten better at dealing with it. Or both. It still won't hurt him, or me, for the house to get a good cleaning on Monday.

And that's my day. Back for a little more Truman. I think I'll be reading this book forever, although, ever the optimist, I got A Thousand Splendid Suns today, which is by the author of The Kite Runner, which I thought was excellent.


WATCHING ----- :: ENTRY #1702

OMIGOD!

FOUND IT! FOUND IT! FOUND IT!

And now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy.

I swear, I posted the last entry not three minutes ago, after which I went into the bathroom to get the towel hamper to put in a wash, and I picked it up off its shelf -- it sits in a kind of metal shelf tower, so the hamper itself is about two inches off the floor -- and THERE IT WAS, SITTING ON THE FLOOR UNDER THE BOTTOM SHELF UNDER THE TOWEL HAMPER!! YES!

So I was almost right. It was tangled in my clothes and fell off when I went into the bathroom. It could just as easily have fallen into the toilet but it fell on the floor instead.

My day just got a whole lot better.

WATCHING --- :: ENTRY #1701

Finally Friday

No luck yet on the hearing aid. I thought there was an outside chance that it was at school, but no. Turns out it's not covered by homeowner's insurance, what a bummer. (I needed to put it on a separate policy for jewelry and other personal items.) The audiologist's office is closed today, so I'll keep looking at home.

I tore apart the couch. It has a slipcover on it, so the thing couldn't have fallen too deep, but I pulled the slipcover out and checked all over. I moved the couch away from the wall in case it fell behind. I moved the coffee table. And now I'll get to do it all all over again tomorrow, because the damn thing has to be somewhere. (My biggest fear -- I don't think I mentioned this yesterday -- is that it was tangled in my clothes somehow before I knew it was gone and fell off at a bad moment and got flushed down the toilet. Coulda happened.)

In other news, my offspring are safely arrived in Paris. Their flight from the US was delayed and so they missed their connecting flight from Amsterdam to Paris, and then the flight they were re-scheduled on was delayed. So, a long day and night for them. Hey, it's good to be young. But they texted me from each airport, and again from the hotel. What good girls.

And I slept. No more of this nonsense of staying awake all night in case the FAA calls. They're fine.

And here's a thought: about a hundred years ago, my grandmothers gathered up their belongings, made their journeys by train to some seaport and then got on boats, and weeks later arrived in the United States. At some point after that, they made their way to where they had relatives living, and took up residence, at which point they wrote letters -- that took weeks to arrive -- to let their mothers know that they were still alive and had safely completed their adventures. And my kids texted me, from Amsterdam and Paris, and I texted them back, and all is well. It's amazing, isn't it?

I must dash home at lunchtime today to change, because I suddenly have a wake to go to after school. One of the people I have lunch with a couple days a week lost her ill and elderly mother yesterday; the wake is today and the funeral tomorrow. Seems everything is happening very fast, but that may be because of Palm Sunday and Holy Week fast approaching. We had all assumed the wake would be tomorrow, so it never occurred to me to dress for it today. But I'd much rather go right from school that go tonight, since I'm not that familiar with the area where the funeral home is.

Pausing for now. More later.


Later.

I did go to the wake, which was mostly family, of course, but from school it was very math-department heavy, since the teacher whose mother died is a math teacher. I think I was the only non-math person there, at least at that time, although I know the Other Chai, who goes to every wake, would have certainly gone, but she's on an out-of-town field trip and won't be back until tonight. I digress. There was another woman there, another math teacher but one who retired last year, and as it turns out, her mother died last week. Now, this retired woman is herself in her mid-sixties and has seven or eight grandchildren, and she was, up until last week, still taking care of her mother. I know this is very hard for both of them, but I had the opportunity to pass a bit of advice onto this second person as we talked in the parking lot afterward, and boy, did it bring stuff back to me. Even so, I was okay until about a half hour later, when I was walking down some random supermarket aisle and I suddenly got choked up. But not in a bad way, really; it made me smile to think of my mother at that point. But I can't help but wonder when, if ever, it gets easier.

So now I'm home, and for three days, since I'm staying home Monday to have my house cleaned. The tidying up has begun; I'll be doing it in bits and pieces all weekend, I guess. Not to mention that I will be taking apart the entire family room tomorrow morning to look for that damn hearing aid again.

Okay, gotta go change over a couple of loads of wash.


WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS :: ENTRY #1701

Well, This Is Different

Just a short entry, I'm having a bit of a crisis here. I was very, very tired when I came home from work, so I lay down on the couch to take a nap. I had my phone at hand, and my cell phone, and about an hour later, I woke up when the phone rang; it was the girls checking in from the airport, all is well, their flight takes off in an hour or two. All good.

But when I went to sleep I was wearing two hearing aids. I woke up wearing one. The other one is gone.

How can this be possible? I don't remember taking it off to sleep; maybe I took it off in my sleep. And put it where? I have looked everywhere. I even moved the couch in case it fell off onto the floor and somehow scooted under the couch. But I don't think so.

Maybe I wasn't wearing both when I got home, although I think I'd remember if I took it off when I was awake. And they're too tight to just fall out.

I keep looking in the same places over and over, because it has to be somewhere, right? This is definitely the time for my mother to look down upon me kindly, because I tended to find things I was looking for when I was talking to her on the phone. Maybe I should just start talking to her and see what turns up. Shirl? Shirl? Can you hear me now?

Oy vey. I wonder if this is covered by homeowner's insurance, or if I have some kind of really incredible warranty on these things. I haven't even had them for a year yet. It's like they're cursed.

WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS :: ENTRY #1700

Everything Works!

But first ...

If you are a reader of Rob Rummel-Hudson's blog, then you already know about his remarkable little girl Schuyler, and that his book about their journey together, Schuyler's Monster, has been published this week by St. Martin's Press. I just finished it, and it was really wonderful. I just thought everyone in the world should know.

Okay, now about meeeee.

I got up early this morning for a possible 8 to 11 cable visit (and, let's be frank, because I wake up early every damn day), and he arrived around 10. A rather amusing fellow. Anyway, we have a new cable modem, I now have HD TV in the family room, and we have that cable company telephone thingy, but with the same phone number we've always had. And it works! It all works! He was gone a little after 11.

I made sure to clear all the clutter away from the wall in the two places I was pretty sure he'd have to work, but no, he didn't go to either of those spots. He did need to reach the telephone outlet in another corner, one that is literally three feet deep -- hey, maybe more -- in furniture and clutter. Shortly after I realized this, he said he had to get something from his trunk, and as soon as he left the room, I charged the corner, and began tossing things back over my head onto the couch until he could reach what he needed. When he came in, he said something like he hoped I hadn't done that just for him, which made me chuckle. Anyway, he finished up (and it all worked!) and then I pretty much just filled two trash bags with a lot of the stuff that was there that I totally didn't need.

My first call on the new phone line was to the audiologist, to see if my hearing aids were back from the shop, as it were. There were in, but he said he wanted to check them over, and he'd call later and I could get them in the afternoon. Lookin' good.

I had lunch with the Chum, always pleasant, and do you know what I ate? I HAD A BACON LETTUCE AND TOMATO SANDWICH. And yet I live. I'll let you know tomorrow how that all .. er .. worked out.

Home, hanging with K, who is on a kick to watch as many classic movies as she can that she's never seen, and she was in the middle of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, always a fave of mine. Those five tones are the cell phone ringtone I always want (and can never find.) At which point I realized that if the audiologist had called, we would never know, because I forgot to set up the new voice mail. So I did that. And then he called. And I went to pick up my hearing aids. And guess what?

THEY WORK!

So, yay, and god, everything is so loud! Yeah, I know.

WATCHING REBA :: ENTRY #1683

Oooooh.

I just did a facial mask thingy and my skin feels all tight and tingly and, I have to tell you, a little strange. I feel like I need to keep slathering moisturizer on until I fall asleep, which, as you all know, could be sometime on Tuesday. Ah well. I'm just glad that I got the free sample at Sephora. The Sibs bought the whole set so she could do it once a week. I hope she's got stronger skin than I have.

Otherwise, a quiet Saturday. I did go to Old Navy with the girls, and got a few things, which is more than I'm sure I needed, but you know how it goes. And I just really tidied up my desk, to the point of actual *gasp* dusting, and even re-arranging the bits of information I keep under my clear desk-blotter. This, I suppose, was prompted by the gift I received today from my first-born: her business card. Oh yes, a business card from a major, real non-profit business, and her name, and the title "Project Manager." So that's very cool.

The only other event of my day was that it's Bare Escentuals day on QVC, three shows, so I'm having fun with that. Although I did not order a single thing today. (But I pre-ordered the big item of the day a couple of weeks ago, so I already have it.) I said to my sister last week that if my mother came back and saw us as we are now -- me, especially, I think -- she'd say "Yes, I have daughters. And who the hell are you?" But in a good way. All this make-up and hair stuff, and getting my nails done, she'd be thrilled to pieces.

I haven't been mentioning the hearing aids, probably to avoid drawing the attention of the evil eye, but they seem to be working pretty well. That problem that I had before, where they would suddenly change into a sort-of muted mode for no reason, does not seem to be there. If it is there, it's much, much better and not interfering with my life. I do try re-setting them once a day or so to see if that whole thing is going on, and I really can't tell, so I guess they're okay. For the most part, I put them in in the morning and don't think about them all day (unless I'm in a crowd or a car and I choose to change the program), and that's what you really want out of your hearing aids: they're supposed to integrate into your life as if you don't need to know they're there. So I guess I'm happy with them, but you can see that I'm not quite willing to commit yet to being 100% with them. I'm giving it another week. And I need to go to the movies to see how they work there. Either tomorrow early afternoon, or maybe one night this week.

I need more moisturizer.

watching Law and Order SVU :: entry #1498

And Keeps on Ticking

Well, I finally figured out that the reason I'm in task overdrive mode, and probably the reason I gained two pounds that I can't shake, is the prednisone I'm taking for my non-hearing business. I have a list of things to do here beside me that I keep crossing off and adding to, and I went on one little errand this morning that blossomed into me power-walking through the mall, stopping here and there. It's enough, already. I wish I could just stop. I don't feel like, as my sister asked, I'm jumping out of my skin. Just like I keep finding more and more to do. When I was on the phone with her before, I was also walking around the room dusting. I know! So know you know the gravity of the situation.

I won't list for you all the things I did today because frankly, if I read it over next week, it'll probably scare me. (Just kidding.) Let's see where things are, then.

It's Saturday, so it's not a countdown day. I managed to stay in bed until 7.00 this morning, and I am so looking forward to when I can set my own sleep and wake-up times and move at a comfortable pace in the morning. That would be ... June 22, I guess. I do have those two workshop days the following week, but they probably won't start until 9.00, which is the shank of the day for me.

I've been putting the new hearing aids through their paces, as best I can, at least until the hearing problem cropped up again a few hours ago (but seems better now.) So far, they seem very good, but I'm reserving final judgment for at least a week. But one of the things on my list was to check them out with headphones on, and I know some of the music I've had trouble with (hearing both channels of the stereo), so that's what I put on, and oh .... it was just lovely. Walking around the house with the Beach Boys in my head ... I was so happy, just like that. I don't dance, you know, not like any kind of actual dance and not in public or anything, but when I'm alone and the music is loud enough and comes through clear, it's just joy, and I move like a goon and that's okay. Sometimes, hearing can be fun.

So here's a thought: I can't move my dland archives to blogspot, but maybe I can open another account at wordpress and move them there? To protect them? It's not like I think I wrote gold or anything, and I do have a backup, but I like to reference old entries sometimes, and I could just like there from here. Just thinking.

Toes with the Sibs tomorrow, and then the Great TV Migration, Phase Two, takes place. You may recall that R and I swapped TV's, but mine was too big for her place so I got her a new one and now I have to bring the other one back. Tomorrow, she and I will hustle that one down from the third floor and into my car, and then it sits on my living room floor. However. K got a game system today -- it's a Super Nintendo, don't laugh; long story -- that does not appear to work with the TV in her room upstairs. So perhaps we will be carrying the big black monster TV up there after all, but I'll have the sense to test the game thing on it before we take that trip. Either way, we'll have a spare TV in the house somewhere, big or small, depending on who wants what where. I'm just hoping I don't have a monster TV on my living room floor all summer. (Oh wait, I'll just take more prednisone and then I can move it anywhere I want. In the middle of the night. When I'm not sleeping, and have extra energy.)

NEWS FLASH FROM THE WEIRD PEOPLE ARE STILL WEIRD DEPARTMENT:

I just stopped typing for a few minutes when the MIL called and we chatted. The ILs, whom I love and am fond of, are still at the top of the "I just don't get it" list. So we're chatting, as we do, and I tell her nonsense about R has been decorating her place and K has been subbing and so on, and then she says, matter-of-factly, "Oh, we had a bit of excitement the other day" and proceeds to tell me that on Wednesday, she and the FIL were doing an errand, and he tripped in the parking lot and fell on his face. But he's okay.

WTF? And may I repeat: WHAT THE FUCK?

Lately, I am surrounded by stories of people I don't get, but this is my new favorite. Let's see. 79 year old, 350 pound man who walks with a cane and severe limp, falls in a parking lot, and neither he nor the missus thinks "Hey! Maybe we oughta call our son and tell him what happened!" Nooooo. Now she said that fortunately, three men rushed out of the store and helped him up, and that he was okay although his face was bruised, but they didn't go to the emergency room because he felt fine. (Let me just say that if no help had arrived, she would have had to call 911 just to pick him up, and then he would have gone to the hospital.) Well. For one, he wouldn't even know if his hip were broken, and his right hip ain't breaking anytime soon because it's titanium. For another, I can't see him breaking a rib because no pavement is finding his ribs under all that (although he could have hit a parking space barrier wrong, I guess.) For three, when people fall, especially elderly people, it's the internal damage you have to worry about. For the record, my mother died of cancer, but what she died of that day was that she fell the night before and she bled to death internally from injuries that weren't found until she finally agreed to go the emergency room the next morning. Oh, and she broke her elbow, but we didn't know that either. Anyway, here's the plan: if an elderly person falls, take him to the hospital.

Okay, I can pay bills or I can investigate my archive options. Just kidding, you know I'm heading right over to wordpress the minute I post. (And send out my notify! Thanks, one subscriber!)

watching Raymond :: entry #1490

NINE! (and The Music Game)

And what a strange nine this has been.

First, I wrote yesterday about the peculiar phone conversation I had with Kathleen from Judy's office. So I made my way across town to the Central Office this morning for the meeting. Oy. Basically, there are lots of decisions to be made and information to be exchanged before the new library software can be installed. This all was due yesterday, which Judy found out when the email packet with everything in it arrived yesterday. Now there's another meeting this afternoon with just the three librarians, and another meeting Monday morning with the three librarians, Judy, Mike the tech guy, and a representative from the company. Oh, and did I mention the the company rep that we've been dealing with for the last six years and who sold us this package and walked us through every detail has been re-assigned to a new territory? Uh huh.

I stopped at DD on the way back to the high school, where the full working staff of Epsilon Semi Morons lived up to their Brave New World class designation. And let me say again, Oy. Once back, I started printing out screen dumps like mad of all the settings we have in the current software, since that seems to be what I need for this afternoon's meeting. In ten minutes, it's time for my lunch, and then I'm leaving lunch a few minutes early to head over to the middle school.

Now this is nice. One of the middle school librarians offered to host the afternoon meeting, so that's at the school that's down the street from my house. And it is a bee-yoo-ti-ful day. So I'll park at the Mouse House and stroll on over, and stroll back when I'm done.

I hope K is at my lunch today (instead of having first lunch) so I can tell her why my car will be parked at home but I won't be there. She's subbing for a gym teacher today. Yes, we are all amused.

I am a little on the wired side today, not sure why. Oh, speaking of wires! Day 3 on the pred (so I cut down to 2 pills this morning) and my good ear is back to whatever normal is for that ear, and I have the hearing aids on. So far, it's an adjustment period for me getting used to them again after 10 days naked, so to speak, but I think they're okay. The sound has not mysteriously changed on its own yet . I can't really tell if the programming is in place, though. I do think that I will have to go to the movies on Sunday, though, since my last movie/hearing experience was so awful, and I really need to test it out again before I declare them Officially Working.

Okay, on to lunch. More later.

Later. Home.

Gave K my message at lunch, and now R's car is ready at the shop, so she'll be taking the train here and then she can drive home. Most likely dinner at mom's expense is in there somewhere, too. The afternoon meeting was pleasant and productive, but my most amusing moment came when I walked home after school and stopped and chatted with the crossing guard to whom I have only waved from the car for years. I'm just never on foot when he's there, but I always toss him a friendly, thankful wave for signalling my car to pass on by.

Okay, so now, The Music Game.

from thirdeye inspirations.

1 The best musician ever is? Oh, I don't know if I could pick one. I probably don't know enough about music to answer the question, and I know that's over-thinking it.

2 The best female voice ever? Maybe Ella Fitzgerald? Or Julie Andrews?

3 Do you listen to mainstream music? I listen mostly to what music was mainstream when I was a kid.

4 List your top 10 favourite bands/singers. The Beatles, The Moody Blues, Simon and Garfunkel come to mind. I don't know how long it would take me to come up with 10.

5 Five years ago how many of the bands/singers did you know stated above? All of them. I do know some contemporary bands/singers, but I'm mostly mired in the past.

6 Have you ever been in a mosh-pit? Heavens, no.

7 Ever been to a concert? I've been to many, although not as many as a lot of people from my generation. I once set my kids up my telling them to ask my cousin Richie if he's ever been to a Grateful Dead concert. He'd been to hundreds of them.

8 A CD you have that you're ashamed of? If I have it, I'm not really ashamed of it, but I have some regrets about Beatles for Babies. It's a little creepy.

9 Do you have an IPOD? I do. A 30 gig video iPod and a older model shuffle, less than 1 gig, I think.

10 Name a band/musician you hate. Interesting, I was just thinking about this the other day. I am utterly repulsed by The Rolling Stones, and always have been, but I actually like their music. I'm repulsed by them personally.

11 The best guitarist ever? I think it's generally accepted in the world at large that it's Andres Segovia, but my FIL would claim Les Paul. My ear is not discriminating enough to judge.

12 The best drummer ever? Drummers, however, I get. Gene Krupa.

13 What music did you listen to in school/growing up? Motown, California (Beach Boys), and the British Invasion, big time. Later on, the whole Woodstock music thing.

14 Do you wanna be in a band? I wish I could play the drums. Drums are so cool.

15 Do you play an instrument? I can pick out a tune or two on a piano from my lessons 45 years ago, but no, I can't play an instrument. I have no sense of rythym or pitch.

watching Friends :: entry #1489

TEN!

Ten days to go, fellow babies, and then there's a two day workshop and the rest of the summer is mine, mine, all mine, I tell you!

Ahem.

So the SCM was out today, and the substitute service called in K, so she was in the library with me all day. Pretty strange, let me tell you. I gave her some work to do, as I do with subs, and she pretty much did it, but she was also very bored. We're not bored -- well, not always -- because we have work to do that a sub can't, so subs get to do the crummy jobs, like shelf reading, and for today, using the paper cutter to chop up forms I had printed last week. So not the greatest day for her, but she gets paid the same, so I guess she has nothing to complain about. The funny thing is, thought, now that we're home, I keep thinking of things to tell her about my day and then I remember that she was there, too.

It's 6.20 and I just put in my hearing aids for the first time in ... oh, I guess it's a week and a half. So I guess my hearing problem of the last couple of days is better enough that I can hear via the aids. I'll keep them in until bedtime and keep my fingers crossed that they work now. My own voice seems very loud, but I can't tell yet if that's part of the adjustment I need to make or if I need to take them back next week and just get the programming tweaked a little. Well, I'll know by Monday, when I can call for a Wednesday appointment, if I need one.

I'm going to an out-of-district workshop on Wednesday. Half of it is on Web 2.0, I think it's called, and the other half is on something similar. I was reading an article about Web 2.0 and I think some if it is what I already do, but I guess I'll know more after Wednesday. If I learn anything exciting, I'll let you know. The two-day workshop I'm going to after school ends is about our new library software, but here's a weird phone call I got just before the end of school today:

Phone rings, I answer. I hear hesitation, and then

"Oh ... uh ... Chai?"

(I had answered the phone "Library, Mrs. Chai.")

"Yes?"

"It's ... uh .... Kathleen."

"Oh, hi." Kathleen is the secretary to the assistant superintendent of schools, a woman who is a former librarian, former high school vice principal, and generally a buddy of mine, whose name is Judy. Kathleen says

"I'm just trying to decide what time to tell you to be here for Judy's meeting tomorrow morning."

Pause on my part. "I wasn't aware that Judy was having a meeting tomorrow morning."

"No, I'm calling to tell you that there's a meeting at Judy's office tomorrow morning."

Am I missing something here? "What time do you want me to be there?"

She says "Early. As early as you can make it."

I tell her that I can be there at 7.00. "Oh, no one's here then. That's too early." No shit, Sherlock. We start at the high school at 7.55, although the library opens at 7.30. The middle schools start at 8.30, and the elementaries at 9.00, which is when the central office people stroll in. That's already the middle of the day to me. So we agree on 8.00, which is fine with me, although I'm sure when I get in at 7.00 there will be voicemail changing it to a later time because it wasn't good for one of the middle school librarians, for whom we have to change the time or date of every damn meeting, always for her, never for anyone else. The rest of us just change our plans when Judy calls a meeting, but not this one.

Anyway, it's about the new library software. I hope it isn't delayed and we're not having the workshop. I want to be able to start up with it in September, and the SCM will not return to New Jersey from his vacation home in Vermont for anything, so if the workshop is rescheduled, he's not coming, and then I have to teach him everything in the fall. I ain't in the mood.

Okay, then. My lunch is already made for tomorrow. Time for another beta test of the Google Groups mailing list, and if it still works, I may post the sign-in box tomorrow.

watching MASH :: entry #1488

Kind of a Hush

Things are very quiet today.

I called the audiologist's office this morning to give my report on the little repair they did on Thursday, and the report was not good. They asked me to drop the hearing aids off there and they are sending them back to the company to be taken apart and, hopefully, put back together again so they work. I had time to dash over there during third period; I have classes in the afternoon so that was the best way, since they close at 2.00 today. In the meantime, I'm at school without hearing aids.

Either the library is very quiet -- it actually is, at the moment, very few kids here -- or I am experiencing the world without its normal complement of sound. Or both. The public announcement bell just rang, which is normally unpleasantly loud to everyone, and it sounded muted to me. Some of the announcements are clear, others are not.

No one has spoken to me directly since I got back, so I can't tell you how that sounds. But lunch is starting now, and we're usually busy during lunch, so I guess I'll be able to let you know before long.

I think I mentioned yesterday how unpleasant the sound experience was at the movies. I think that put me over some kind of edge. I have no hostility towards the audiologist and what he's doing, but I'm very hostile towards the non-working hearing aids. I had actually toyed with the idea of not wearing them to school today at all, or not wearing them anymore in general. I may try the old ones again when I get home later, but maybe not. I already know they don't work, although with them it's not a matter of the sound randomly changing from one thing to another to another without warning. They just don't work. So I guess there wouldn't be much point in that, then.

I do like the feeling of hearing "naked", even though what I hear isn't loud enough. I like not hearing things channelled through a radio system, or mechanically reproduced or enhanced. It does make me more aware of the tinnitus, what I generally call "my ear noise," because when the world is quiet, the ear noise is often the loudest thing I hear. It's not terribly loud at the moment, but I'm aware of it. No ringing today, at least. The ringing sounds are most annoying. Can I describe the ear noise? It's almost as if there's another room, very close by, and in that room, the radiator is hissing softly. Once, I was walking in the park with my sister, and we approached a small waterall, but weren't close enough to see it yet. I stopped and listened for a minute, and said to her "That's it. That's what I hear all the time." The ear noise is always, always there, sometimes louder than other times, and with luck, I'd be wearing hearing aids that would make the sounds I want to hear louder than the ear noise. But not today. And loud ear noise is especially sucky when you're trying to fall asleep, since it's a sound you can't block out. Maybe that's why I like to fall asleep with the TV on, now that I think of it. I listen to that and i don't hear the ear noise. Hadn't thought of that before.

Later.

I had two classes after lunch which went pretty well, all things considered. The new building at the school, including the library and the library's computer lab/classroom, is all cinderblock, and the acoustics are just terrible for someone who hears well. For me, combined with the erratic hearing aids, teaching in the classroom was often uncomfortable; at best, I couldn't hear anything else going on while I was talking myself. (And if you know kids, you know that they're doing other things while you're talking, including talking. Come on, you all went to school.) But that was better today, somehow, I guess because my own voice wasn't uncomfortably loud.

After school, I ran a few errands and then went over to R's -- for a change -- to bring some stuff and pick up some stuff. She called in sick today, having gotten a sunburn yesterday and generally crashing after the last few weeks of intense activity. So she was home when she wouldn't normally have been. Her place is shaping up nicely; it's very cute. And with any luck, from this point on, she'll be doing her own laundry.

But the hearing was very good over there. Every time I was there since Friday, the air conditioner was so loud, I couldn't hear people speak, but today, that sound was muted and I could focus on the person speaking to me. I'm getting used to this deaf thing. I may be starting to enjoy it.

Tomorrow, though, I am at an all-day workshop, which should be a barrel of laughs. If everyone talks at once, I'm screwed. I'll just have to see what happens.

Must remember to tell you about the monster house. Perhaps tomorrow.

watching Reba :: entry #1479