Tick Tock

8:51 am in the library. I'm either about to make a wonderful discovery, or a disaster is about to strike. Hold on .....

8:59. No disaster, anyway; discovery remains to be seen. I just used the pod coffeemaker to make a cup of tea. Since the tea bags aren't the same size and shape as a pod -- I used two tea bags -- I thought there might suddenly be boiling hot water shooting out from everywhere, but no, just a little leaking into the base, where it's supposed to go. Whether or not the tea tastes like tea or coffee, I'll let you know after it cools down a bit.

Again this morning, I had to go head to head with the powers that be over the most foolish thing: they need to provide me reasonable access to a bathroom. Why is this so freaking hard for them? The bathroom right downstairs from the library has had its lock removed, so it's no longer usable. They need to find me another alternative, and quick. The medications I'm taking are not making things easy for me this week; in fact, one of the main reasons I stayed home last Friday was not because of the cough or the cold, but to be near the bathroom. Seems like it should be a basic human rights thing, eh? It's not like I'm toiling in a remote rice paddy is southeast Asia, this is New Jersey, for god's sake. People have bathrooms here, we pretty much expect it.

9:13 am. Good tea.

It's a quiet day here, although busy. I have a class scheduled into the computer lab every period of the day, but nothing I have to teach. I'm still putting off my shelf-shifting project, but I do have to check shelves for books that may or may not be overdue, and then send out the notices.

And I may just go make another cup of tea. I generally only like very ordinary tea, green or black, decaf, but I brought in a container of pink grapefruit green tea in a can, I forget who makes it, you know, the people who put overpriced interestingly flavored teas in tall cans. I don't know how long we had this one at home, but I'll give it a shot.

I just found out that there's no coverage for lunch today, so the library has to close that period. I need to go change the sign at the door, hold on ....

10:02 am. Today is the third of the three days set aside for seniors to review their college essays with English teachers, something they do in the library. Today is also the second day that our computer network has decided not to let anyone login to Hotmail or Yahoomail. Swell. And of course, kids who finished their essays at home last night emailed them to themselves for easy printing once they got to the library. So I just logged into a girl's Hotmail account on my iPhone and forwarded her essay to both my school and personal email accounts -- guess which one never arrived -- and printed it out for her. Oh yes, we're very high tech here. What amused me was that the girl's password was one of those that I use often, and that this was a girl to whom I think I am somehow distantly related through the Hubs. (I have no idea how, but the Hubs' Aunt Marie calls them cousins, and maintains a connection with them, so I guess there's something, unless it's one of those Italian cousins-that-aren't-really-blood-related thing, which is common.) Does that make my iPhone deductible as a business expense?

10:38 am. I've got a class of goofballs with a goofball teacher in the computer lab, taking up about half of the available stations, and I've got a serious science teacher with a serious class in the library's main room, where there are about half as many computers as he needs. What's wrong with this picture?

Time for more tea. (It's Republic of Tea, btw. A pink canister that supports breast cancer research, or something; I remember that K bought this tea once and it was outrageously expensive. I'm generally happy with store-brand tea, although I do use Celestial Seasonings green decaf for the iced tea that I mainline when I'm at home.) I'll let you know in a few minutes.

11:09 am Word on the street is that the authorization has come down to put the lock back on the bathroom door, which should be done within the half hour. Yay! Victory is mine!

(Good tea. Mild green tea, no taste of grapefruit, pink or otherwise. Huh.)

1:23 pm, back from lunch. There's a lock on the bathroom door! I saw it with my own eyes! YAAAAAAAAAAY!

They just made a school-wide announcement about what kinds of costumes are appropriate for seniors to wear for Halloween tomorrow, so that's pretty much anything that's fun or interesting is out. It's really remarkable. Nothing military or political. Nothing with liquids or food. Nothing that conotates violence or alcohol or drugs. Nothing that might be demeaning to any other person. Ad infinitum.

I get it. Of course we don't want to demean anyone and all that. But seriously, this just sucks all the fun right out of it, I think. Let's do it right or let's not do it at all.

2:03 pm. I'm so sleepy! I don't think I've been sleepy at work more than once or twice this year, but right now, I just want to close my eyes. And I have a few things to do after school, too, but I'll probably be awake by then. I can leave here in an hour. It's not soon enough.




watching L/O :: ENTRY #2131
READING: --- by ---

Still Spinnning

Actually, lately I've been afloat in a sea of Mad Men, season one last weekend and seasons two and three this weekend just past, mixed in with a visit to the ILs. Good to be with the whole family. Not good to see him declining, very sad.

Perhaps the new meds I'm taking are helping. I had to stop physical therapy last week because the work on my neck triggered some way serious tinnitus, pounding in my head so loud -- not painful, just loud -- that I couldn't keep count of the exercises I was doing. And then the PT said he wouldn't touch me anymore until the doctor cleared it, because that was too weird for him. It's about 2:20 now as I'm writing; I have a meeting after school at the central office (which is to say, not in my school building) and then the doctor at 3:40. After which I'm going to run by Old Navy because I have nothing -- nothing, I tell you -- to wear.

All is well with me and the Sibs, until our next phone call anyway. (Just kidding.) All is well with other family members, as far as I can see (except the above-mentioned FIL.) All is well with therapy, which, thank god for. And lexapro. I like the lexapro.

As for me physically, perhaps the pain is less; it's hard to say. It's at its worst at night, anyway, so for now, mid-afternoon, it's very manageable. My head does seem to be cloudy whenever I sit down to write, although I'm coping well enough with everything else, not bummed, work is good except for the foolishness, which is not quite over, but almost.

Dang. I always think I have a lot to say, but then I put my hands on the keyboard and poof!

Oh, here's something. I've become a total GPS slut. I don't have a GPS as such, but I got an app -- there's an app for that, you know -- that works pretty well. How do I know that, since I rarely go anyplace I haven't already been? By turning on the GPS app when I'm going someplace I have already been. It's funnier that way. You know, the man in the iPhone says "Turn left. Turn left. Turn left." and I say "NO! I know where I'm going!" or some such foolishness. The Hubs and I very much enjoyed the man in the iPhone to and from his folks yesterday, especially each time he said "G - AR - den state PAR - kway." Okay, it's not the same in print. It was funny.

I'm home, it's six, I can go back to physical therapy on Wednesday, and I even got some corduroys at Old Navy. Score.




watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2127
READING: Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan
READING: Reading Lolita in Teheran by Azar Nafisi

The Sun Shone

for five minutes today, long enough to remind us that it exists. And then, poof. This is the weirdest June ever.

I'm going to follow up yesterday, but first, two articles. Here's one. Is this the coolest app ever? If only they would deliver.

Next. We are living in a topsy-turvy world for sure. I'm worried that they won't let me on an airplane because of my middle name, but it's okay for people on the terrorist watch list to buy guns. Can you believe it?

I got some comments about people with name discrepancies who never had a problem, and in fact, I've never had a problem; I just don't know if I will because the rules have changed. Even so, I tried to think about why this is bothering me so much, why I'm obsessing over it. (I'm not anymore. I got over it.) The therapist I used to go to, when we discussed my fears, would ask "And what would happen if ..." for example, I saw a snake in person. (My greatest of all fears.) And I said "I would die." She said, "Would you really? What would cause you to die?" and so on. So the question I asked myself was, what am I afraid of?

I am not afraid of some things that other people are, reasonably, afraid of. I am not generally afraid of or made nervous by having a mammogram, and I'm the only woman I know who can say that. Why not? What will be will be, I guess. Am I afraid to fly? A lot of people are. I don't enjoy it, but I'm not afraid of it. I'm more afraid when my children fly than when I do.

What will happen if I am at an airport and my ID is challenged because of the not-matching middle names? There's the question. I am, apparently, afraid of getting stopped at airport security. I need to make everything as smooth as it can possibly be so I can just breeze through. If there's a hiccup of a doubt about anything about me, and it slows me down, I'm scared. Of? I'm afraid of getting stopped and sent aside for further screening. I'm afraid of being detained illegally. I'm afraid of being questioned closely, and not hearing them. I'm afraid of the whole loss-of-civil rights potentiality that the TSA has at airport security.

(I'm not saying I live in constant fear of this stuff. I'm just saying this is what I came up with when I analyzed the name thing.)

Ultimately, what I'm afraid of is facing a situation where I lose any and all control I might even have seemed to have had. It's the whole loss-of-control issue, which is a big issue for me (and for many others, I would guess.) Airport security has tremendous potential for a loss-of-control experience of the highest caliber. That's it. That's why all I want is to make sure that I breeze right through without a hiccup.

I'm glad we had this little talk.




watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #2071
READING: ----- by -----