Weird

[copied from dland]

I still can't get Gmail to load, which sucks, but surprisingly I was still logged into Google, and got into my Google documents through the home search page. Strange. I don't like not being able to get my email, but I guess it'll come back at some point. It worked at school all day.

Anyway, here's what I wrote at school earlier today:

MY PANTS ARE LOOSE.

I'm not saying I've dropped a size or anything, but my XL pants are just a skooch loose here and there. I haven't lost a pound in three weeks, but I guess something's happening, eh? Well, that's good.

I'm totally dragging today because I could not fall asleep last night. Or maybe I was asleep but I felt like I was awake. No, I'm pretty sure I was awake, because I kept getting out of bed and eating. I do not do that in my sleep. So maybe I slept for three hours, if that. I can't even keep my eyes open.

It's quieter day at school. Yesterday's minor budget triumph turned out to be a mistake on the part of the new secretary, so that money's not there and we're not getting stuff with it. We can order it as soon as next year's budget opens up in June or July, but still. The Board just took back tons of our budgeted funds this year because we didn't spend it before the deadline, which, btw, they neglected to share with anyone. Nice.

Well, folks, here I am.

I couldn't get anything at home last night, and so I figured I'd wait til I was all put together this morning and bring in my camera and ask the SCM to take the picture. My problem with pictures -- with myself in pictures, that is -- is not my weird eye, because that comes out okay; it's that my smile is very strange because only one side of my mouth moves. When you're looking at me in person it's not a big deal because I'm moving, but when the camera captures and freezes me, I look very distorted. But the angle of this picture seems to have taken care of that.

See all my pretty gray? And my cool eyeshadow? I didn't attempt the eyeliner this morning, though, but the rest of the make-up is there.

Let me tell you about my space there in the new library. Behind my head, at a kind of 2:00 position, is my Thomas Jefferson bobble-head. Right behind him is a picture I used in my recent display about World War II; it's my parents in about 1942, so I'm keeping it there. Now, you may notice that I'm wearing an ID badge, which we all are wearing now. Here's a better shot of it:

If you can see the picture on the card, that's what I generally think I look like, and for the last many years. I guess I took this picture after I lost the weight four years ago. I loved this haircut, too. I got a good picture because, as the taker of the ID card pictures, I got to sit there and take as many as I wanted to -- maybe I took 30 -- until I got one I could live with. But anyway, this is basically my self-image. Time to start seeing myself in a new way.

It is not nearly the beautiful day they said it would be. It is 42 degrees, but it was supposed to be in the 50s, and in the 60s for the next two days. But it's very overcast today, so maybe that's keeping the temp down a little. It's still way better than the cold we've had recently, don't get me wrong. But I'd really like to see some sun out there.

The new bag I'm using to day is so far working out pretty well, except for the damn paisley. Needs tweaking.

Nails after school today, and then, if I can keep my head up, a few errands here and there. I don't think I'll make it to Target and the toilet paper on sale, maybe later in the week. I don't even want to go to a supermarket, although I may not be able to avoid that. I need some bottled water and a few other things. Ooh, maybe the discount beauty supply/drugstore place. (Harmon, if you're local.) They might have it all.

So far, I'm pretty disoriented by the time thing, as I always am the first week at work afterwards. It's probably why I didn't sleep, among other things. Oh, since I wasn't sleeping, I watched that new show last night, The Riches. First, let me say I totally heart Eddie Izzard, hubba hubba. I never thought of him that way before, you know, when I saw him wearing dresses. Huh. But he looks great in this, and is great, and it is a very different and interesting show. I'm not a Minnie Driver fan, but I thought she was excellent as well, as were the kids and other supporting people. Worth watching, I thought.

---

Home. You know, where the Gmail won't load.

I got my nails done and it was very quiet there at first, no other customers, and I let my eyes close between changing my hands back and forth on the table, and then a woman came in whom I kind of know, and she sat down next to me and DID NOT STOP TALKING FOR A DAMN MINUTE. It was a nightmare. I was soooooo tired, and could barely focus on the conversation, which was pretty much all on her side anyway.

I had gone to CVS before nails, and couldn't get everything I wanted, so I went to Eckerd after, which in this town is a very crummy and not-nice store. They did have the hair conditioner I was looking for, though.

I managed not to fall asleep at home; first I talked to the Sibs for a while and then I really cleaned out the refrigerator and packed up the rest of the tuna casserole into freezer bags and had a frozen meal for dinner. I have eaten excellently today; no snacks at all. Yet. I did just eat a prune, though; remind me not to do that again.

Fearing Gmail and all it stands for, I also just printed out my list of hearing aid problems, also being kept for the last week in Google documents. I'm going to the audiologist tomorrow at 6:30, so keep your fingers crossed that I come out better than I'm going in. I really do think he can do a lot better for me. It's a process with new hearing aids; it always is and I know it. But I want them to work NOW. Is that too much to ask?

I need cheese.


WATCHING RAYMOND :: ENTRY #1400