On Racism, and Racists

[copied from dland]

In the spring of 1999, I was enrolled along with my sister in a graduate class in Education called Principles of Curriculum Development. It was no such thing. It turned out to be a class, perhaps the only one I’ve ever taken, that cause me to challenge and examine my own beliefs and thoughts about things that I had become cynical or complacent about. The professor was an unusual and fascinating sprite of a man, who challenged us at every opportunity.

One evening he showed us a short video in which a young woman, an undergraduate at the school I was attending, had spoken at a seminar about racism. The seminar had been conducted by a member of the university staff. Both of these individuals were of African-American heritage. Afterwards, we were asked to react to what we had seen, I said that I was saddened because the young woman was in so much pain. At this point, two women in the class with me, the only two individuals in the room (in which all the students were working teachers) who were also of African-American heritage, took me to task for my reaction. A discussion followed. Later that evening, at home, I wrote this reaction to what had happened and later gave it to the professor to read.

“I am angry, and because this is an emotion that is not comfortable for me, I want to intellectualize it, to resolve my anger by having an objective, clear discussion about its cause. But that does not appear to be possible.

Perhaps I was not clear in my response to the video we saw in class. In no way did I mean to negate the repugnancy of racism on any level. I only meant to say that, when I saw the speaker, I saw primarily the personal pain that racism caused her, rather than the social issue of racism itself.

To quote the fictional Ferris Bueller, 'isms, in my opinion, are not good.' I do not tend to see things in the greater societal context; I am more likely to see how individuals are affected by the conditions that surround them. To observe that each person is motivated primarily by his or her perceptions is not to say something especially radical or even strange. It is true on its surface. These individual perceptions can be based on 'isms,' on our sense of how others perceive us and treat us based on those perceptions. As clearly evidenced by the speaker in the video, racism is an insidious, pervasive horror. Certainly the Muslim peoples in the Balkans would agree.

A word or two here about the kinds of words we use when discussing these issues. I do not care for the words 'race', 'color,' 'black' and 'white' in this context because I believe that all of them are used inappropriately. I don’t know exactly what 'race' means; I thought it meant species, and all humans are of the same species. I don’t think it means distinctions made purely on the grounds of skin color. Similarly, I use the expression 'people of color' because it sounds charming; I don’t know if it actually means that much. I prefer not to think of myself as a colorless person. I certainly do not think of myself as 'white.' Not only does this imply being bland and colorless, it also lumps together all those individuals who are not perceived as people of color as if they were the same. No more than all people lumped together under the meaningless term 'black' are all people designated 'white' the same. When I am asked to indicate my ethnicity on a form of some kind, and I am offered several options, including African-American, Hispanic, Native American, White, or other, I feel that I am a victim of racism. What I perceive as my race doesn’t even rate a line on the form. I get the message that I am not a member of a race that counts for anything at all. When I can, I check other. I am not any of those things, and I am not white, either.

I was challenged in class on the grounds that I am not discriminated against based on the color of my skin. This is also clearly true on its surface, and I agree with it now as I did in class. I must also agree that I do not have the capacity to perceive personally what it would be like to experience such discrimination. However, I found it most curious that the individual who said this to me had also stated that she could never understand how the Jews in Nazi Germany could be distinguished from the other people there, the Aryans. Yet this is a perception that has been clear to me from birth. I always knew that the Nazi organization had been able to make this distinction with no trouble at all, and I always knew that I would be perceived as easily, should that time ever come to pass. (In essence, the message I got here was that all 'white people look alike.) Just as I am unable to experience the perception of discrimination based on skin color, this member of the class is unable to experience the perception of discrimination for being Jewish. I imagine that neither of us is capable of experiencing the perception of being an ethnic Albanian in Kosovo. Part of my anger of the moment stems from the fact that I am unable to explain to this classmate (I don't know her name) that this is something we share in common, this inability to feel another person's pain. Yet I sensed very strongly that it is her perception that my sense of being discriminated against in society is not as valid as her own. Certainly it is not as valid in this particular time and place in world history. Yet it is my perception, and so it is as valid as her own, on those grounds alone.

I recently attended a faculty meeting at which the guest speaker was the professor who appeared in the video we saw in class. I found him quite interesting and articulate (as opposed to most of the guest speakers we have at faculty meetings.) He spoke about the perceptions of students 'of color', and indicated that it should be clear to everyone why, because of the situations in which they are raised, we should understand when students 'of color' choose, for example, to sit together in a class. He gave a few other examples of why students 'of color' would choose to group together in various circumstances. I asked him if he would agree that, when students who are generally recognized as 'white' make this same choice, it is perceived by those 'of color' as racism. He agreed that it was. I asked him why it should be perceived as racism on the one hand, but normal social behavior on the other hand. He did attempt to explain his reasoning, which I was unable to understand. He further explained that, for example, when teenagers are at a mall, those who are 'of color' are treated differently than those who are, for example, Jewish or Italian. Incredulous, I asked him after the meeting if he actually believed that, at the mall, he could distinguish between those teenagers who were Jewish or Italian or anything else. I expected some equivocation here, but to my amazement, he replied that he absolutely could tell the difference. When I asked how, he said something about credit cards which show names. (Did this imply that all Jewish teenagers carry credit cards?) This was nonsense. Most teenagers do not carry credit cards, and even if they did, they wouldn't carry them openly. He claimed to be able to distinguish the ethnic identity of teenagers walking around the mall.

The only answer, of course, is that he is very much a perpetuator of racism himself, which he denied quite definitely. The truth is that, although he can see the very real possibility that I might be a racist, he cannot begin to conceive that he might be one himself. The reason for this, I think, is that, just as I am unable to know what it feels like to be discriminated against because of skin color, he is unable to know what it feels like to be discriminated against for any other reason. There is one chief difference between us, and it has nothing to do with skin color or ethnicity. The difference is that I can see that his perceptions are the lens through which he sees the world, and I can understand his right to do so, even though I can't see things through his lens. He, however, cannot understand the possibility that my perceptions cause things to appear to be different to me. He can neither understand this, nor can he acknowledge my right to do so. Like the Supreme Court and pornography, he believes that he knows racism when he sees it. To him, I am wrong, and possibly -- perhaps even very likely -- a racist. I don't think that I am. He, however, is.”


ENTRY #17