S.O.P.

The standard operating procedure for retirement is that when the Board of Education approves/accepts your letter of retirement, then at their next meeting, they pass a whole resolution about you and read it into the public record. Then, at the retirement dinner, the superintendent steps up and reads it aloud and gives the retiree a framed, fancy-schmancy copy of it.

Except last month, so many of us put in our letters just hours before the deadline of that night's Board meeting, there were only resolutions for those few who had notified the Board earlier, and the rest of us were just listed at the end, kind of like, Oh, and these people, too.

There must have been a Board meeting last night, because a photocopy of the resolutions that were read for me and for the middle school librarian who's also going was in my mailbox this morning. (We were on the same page, so we get to see each other's.) Interestingly, they came up with something different for each of us, which must have been a challenge for them. If they were honest, I think mine would have said something about my being a pain in the ass to the superintendent for years. If they were accurate, mine also would have mentioned my heavy involvement with activities and clubs for years.

Every time I've listened to one of these being read, I've thought, What phony bullcrap. And it still is, and I can't imagine I would hang such a thing up in my house except as a joke, but even so, I'm going to share it with you, because y'know? Phony or not, it's nice to see something nice about yourself. The fact that they spelled my name correctly twice and incorrectly three times did put a damper on it, though. (I called and told them, to make sure they don't misspell it on the framed copy.

Okay, here goes.

Resolution regarding the retirement of Mrs. --- ---, Effective June 30, 2010

WHEREAS, Mrs. --- ---, a conscientious Media Specialist in the --- --- Public Schools since 1977, has requested retirement at the end of the day on June 30, 2010, AND

WHEREAS, Mrs. --- ---, with professional skill has provided a literary spark for reading and the promotion of learning essential to each student entering the --- --- High School Library, AND

WHEREAS, Mrs. --- ---, with warmth and understanding has competently guided her young students and enabled them to meet successfully the challenges in later life, THEREFORE BE IT

RESOLVED, that the --- --- Board of Education hereby acknowledges the accomplishments achieved by Mrs. --- --- during her tenure in --- --- and wishes for her many satisfying and rewarding years in her forthcoming retirement; AND BE IT FURTHER

RESOLVED, that the Secretary of the Board of Education be directed to spread this Resolution in full upon the Minutes, and that a copy of this Resolution be sent by the Superintendent of Schools to Mrs. --- ---.

So, is that a hoot? Doesn't it sound like it was written by Benjamin Franklin or someone else equally colonial and old and dead?

(I counted again; my name was correct the first two times and incorrect all the others, of which there were four.)


In other news, I finished a wonderful, wonderful book last night that everyone should read. It's called Asta in the Wings, and it's a first book by the author Jan Elizabeth Watson. I just loved it.