Happy Birthday to Me!

And as a lovely gift for me, the New Jersey legislature yesterday approved medical marijuana. It won't start for several months because they have to put the bureaucracy in place, and they've tightened up the final law some from the original proposal, but I still qualify. It's enough so that I think I can choose not to go on the stronger meds, and wait to try this first and see if it helps.

 

Bureaucracy. Apparently, a great many people fear that the distribution system will be corrupt and that criminals will get into the medical marijuana, and one kook even expressed his fear that people will now be streaming from all over the country to New Jersey just to get the MM. Uh, seriously doubt it. As for corruption, well, this is New Jersey, so I can't imagine how they're going to avoid that unless they recruit workers who come exclusively from out of state, although what state has the most honest people, I couldn't tell you. It's not that we're not honest here, it's just that a great many of our politicians have a well-erned reputation for setting the gold standard in corruption. Not all, but yes, many.

 

I have lost no weight in three days. I think it's the oatmeal for breakfast. I went back to a Dunkin' Donuts Wake-Up Wrap this morning, no bacon. One day I will perfect how to make that at home, but for now, I guess I do need the protein and no grains to get me going in the morning. At this point, I'm eating practically no grains at all. (Hmm, let me think ... well, the flour taco with breakfast; it's tiny ... none at lunch, none at snacks ... that's it.) Theoretically good for you? Certainly. In the real world, not so good for me, as it turns out. (I do have pizza here and there, though, but in smaller portions.)

 

After I posted yesterday, as the day progressed, I found myself starting to feel extremely content. Odd. I remember saying in therapy once some years back, after my father died, that I felt flat, as if I had no capacity to be either unhappy or happy. This is not that at all. I am, in general, happy. Of course, there are things that bother me, but things don't stress me the way they used to, not little things, and not many big things. What is, is, and que sera sera. (What will be will be.) Until my next big health issue (and I don't fool myself; there will always be something), I can smile when I see a rubber ducky, or when a kid thanks me for helping him, or when I finish a Fit routine. I can say "Oy, my back really hurts" without expecting the world to stop around me, or just living in complaining land. It's amazing how much easier it is to manage the physical crap when the emotional thing is stable. And no, I'm not that evolved; I know that I am taking meds that help make all this possible. I don't feel like a Pollyanna, I just feel like the me I'm supposed to be, the me I like being.

 

Everybody now: awwwww.

 

I was thinking earlier today about the first birthday I covered in diary-world, which was my 50th, seven years ago. That was not a low-key birthday celebration; everybody knew and I brought in dessert for the faculty room which consisted of all of our favorite childhood treats from the fifties: ovalteen and kool-aid, Hostess Twinkines and chocolate cupcakes, more. I gave out party favors. It was great.

 

So, it's a quiet day with a good possibility of pleasant drugs to come. Can't beat that for a birthday.