Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Things Change. Or Not.

The empress pointed out in her comment that my children are too young for me to be a grandma.

As we know, things change, times change. K is 24, R is 27. When I was 24, I got married, and it seemed like we were doing that later than many of our friends, who had gotten married at 22, right out of college. When I was 27, married three years, I was pregnant with R. I had two friends pregnant at the same time; one of them was 32 and the other was 37.

I didn't think my time line was normal because even then, I knew there was no such thing as a normal time line. But let's see.

My sister got married (first time) right out of college, so she was 22. I believe that Eldest Nephew was born when she was 26, which seemed somehow early at the time, although looking back, I don't know why. She was 29 when the twins were born.

My mother was 23 when she got married, in 1943. But my father was overseas for years after that and then there was a stillbirth; their firstborn, the Sibs, came in 1948, when Shirl was 28. She was 32 when I was born; I was 31 when K was born.

I guess we were all pretty close after all, and our kids are not really lagging behind. Wonderful Niece is 30 and not so interested in being pregnant. Her brother is getting married in September, and we're guessing there will be a baby there within a year or two. As for eldest nephew, it would take real courage for someone to take him on as a husband and father, although he would be a fabulous father. But he's a unique experience, what can I say?

Anyway, the thing is, I understand that my children are nowhere near ready to produce offspring. I'm just saying that I'm ready to have some grandchildren. Not that it is in any remotely connected to my readiness. I'm just saying.

WATCHING THE GOLDEN GIRLS :: ENTRY #1831
SUMMER BOOK #6: Big Russ and Me by Tim Russert

3 comments:

  1. Their readiness has a lot to do with it, but you know I am in favor of having girls grow up and know who they are, and how to take care of themselves, before they start families. A woman with a child should never be wishing "if only I had done such-and-such" before I tied myself down.

    I know my mother thought I was going to be [gasp] an old maid; I married at 28 and was a few months short of 30 when the U.D. was born. But I'm seeing this "live first, have kids later" in a lot of my cousins too.

    It used to be that you had to have your kids early for medical reasons that no longer hold. If we're going to live longer, we have to manage our lives better.

    It'll take another generation before we do, but my first grandchild -- parents in their mid-thirties -- will, I think, have the best of all worlds. [If no one blows it up first.]

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  2. My real parents were married when my real mom was 19 and my dad was 25. They waited three years to have kids, so she was 22 and Dad was 28 when my sister was born. Then she was 27 and Dad was almost 33 when I was born. My mom and my real mom are pretty much the same age, my mom being just six months older. For some reason, my parents seemed OLD when I was growing up. They were already in their 40s when most of my friends' parents were still in their early 30s. And when they got my brother, they were 37 and 42, so they were REALLY old compared to his friends' parents.

    I was married at 22 and had Grace at 25. I seem to be one of the younger people I know to have kids; a lot of my friends are in their early 30s and are just now getting married.

    My mom was 52 when Gracie was born and told me that she was far too young to be a grandma. Yet I have seen so many grandmothers in their 40s. It kind of weirds me out.

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  3. I met Mike at 22 and had Warren by 23. I wasn't really ready for children, but in a way, its nice to be young enough to enjoy Warrens teen years (and keep up) as well and any future (way future) grandchildren I might have. My parents were close to 40 when they had my brother and I, and they always seemed so much older than a lot of my friends parents. My dad's parents also married and had kids late, so I never realy got to enjoy my grandparents as much as other kids. (on the other hand my mom's folks were 17 and 18 when thier marriage was arranged, which I find way to young), they had grandchildren not much younger than thier youngest children (13 kids, )

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