And In My Next Life ...

There's only so much you can plan for. Sometimes, you just have to give up and realize that whatever it is, it ain't happening in this life, so you might as well just decide that you'll put it off until next time. Y'know?

So far, I can only think of two things that I really want in my next life (as opposed to this one.) One, I never want to think, or worry, about money. I want it to be someone else's responsibility, and that poor soul can just go the ATM once a week and give me an allowance. Because that's a sweet deal, if you ask me.

Next. I want to marry someone who isn't a lunatic.

This is problematic, of course, because first it would depend on who my parents are in that life, because even though my father wasn't a lunatic -- not to me, anyway -- I certainly married someone with a whole lot of his quirks. For example, I wish that this life could have had a longer stretch of time when a heavy snowfall didn't mean looking out the window every ten minutes to make sure that the designated snow shoveler isn't dead in the snow from a heart attack. Jack, at least, let us go out and shovel with him. The Hubs does not do that, although I almost keeled over before when he told me that he was allowing two neighborhood kids to do some of it. So he's just doing the driveway and the cars, and of course, going over what the boys did to make sure it meets his standards.

His lunacy has few bounds, but I can't even go into that all now. He did come home and tell me that he'd been fired, but I don't believe that for a minute. He just likes to say that sometimes. (See "worrying about money", above. For years, when he said that, or that he was quitting his job, my first thought would be losing the house, or pulling the kids out of school. Now I know it's bullshit.) I'm also reminded of that t-shirt I've seen that says My next husband will be normal.

But the other problem with marrying someone who isn't a lunatic, and maybe there's someone out there who can verify this, is that I think that if you're a woman and you're not gay, then you're pretty much doomed to marry a lunatic by definition, or at least, someone who certainly seems to be a lunatic to you. So the answer to this is that in my next life, I would have to be gay, I think. Although this doesn't hold any particular appeal for me, I have to assume that if I'm in a new life, and it starts out that way, then hey, no problem. I would need a bigger bathroom, though, because the Hubs' only products are toothpaste and ivory soap, which take up very little space, and the more women you have sharing a bathroom, the more room you need for products. I'm just saying.

Hold on a minute, gotta go look out the window.

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He appears to be at the final stage of shoveling, which is that he clears the snow away from the street in front of our house, to the curb, so we can park on the street if we need to. Yes, he shovels the road in front of our house. Even my father didn't do that.


WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS :: ENTRY #1685