The Etiquette of Blog

[copied from dland]

I wrote in one of my first entries about how I had come to start keeping a web diary, and I continue to be intrigued by the process. Who reads these, and why? And now, a new question: what is the proper thing to do when the writer of the blog is no longer anonymous?

To recap, I stumbled onto this whole thing when I came across two web diaries that were being kept by students in the school where I work. One of these was the typical "Omigod I had a test tuday my teacher sux" and it was, thank god, written by someone I couldn't identify. The other turned out to be a continuing work of poetry by someone whose life I have become privileged to observe somewhat closer than I ever expected to. I read her writing and I look for her in the halls the next day, hoping to see that she is still happy, and still arm in arm with the sweet boy I know her to be in love with.

The mistake I made, I don't remember when, was in telling the SCM (Self-Centered Man) about it. I think I was just trying to demonstrate how this new search engine I'd found worked, and I told him that I had done a sample search on the name of our high school and that it turned up interesting results. The next day he asked if I too had begun to read S--'s web diary, as of course, I had.

I feel as if I have violated her privacy. Yes, I know she writes it and she posts it, but can she really expect that her teachers are reading it? I don't feel that I'm invading her space by reading it myself; oddly, this seems okay to me because I know I will never, would never, indicate to her in any way that I know what I know. But I cannot say the same for the SCM. He is curious and nosy. This is because he cannot estimate the damage that he might do by saying things, because if it isn't happening to him, it isn't happening. What if he sees her in the halls one day and says "Are you still seeing T--? Did you have a good time hiking at (wherever) last week? My wife and I like to hike there; when we went two years ago, we brought our dog, and she almost got sprayed by a skunk, although she didn't. But that was our old dog; we had to have her put to sleep last summer. She developed ............."

And so on. Because he really isn't interested in you at all, S--, he's just looking for a way to talk a little more about himself. And if knowing something about you gives him a hook to start talking, he'll use it. And he won't even notice that you are feeling open and exposed and violated.

So what's the etiquette here? If anyone knows, I'd sure like to hear your advice. I'm considering just telling SCM "You know, it's not polite to tell people you've been reading their blogs. It's really an anonymous kind of thing." Isn't it?


ENTRY #14